Am I right to feel miffed

Thanks for all,your comments as usual, I felt much comforted by the majority views, but take on board everyone's comments. I think it was It was more the enthusiasm with which my friend greeted the idea ( we are quite close and see each other very regularly) and said it had never occurred to her to do a hol like that, and would look forward to us going when she felt better ( she has been agonising over several ideas, not just holidays), so we left it that we would have a look at them over the next few weeks and decide. It was the way she slipped it into the conversation that it had been booked when I next saw her, and yes FarNorth and f77ms , quite right she can take hols with whom she chooses and when she likes as I do and will. I was the fact that the other friend has never expressed any interest in either Scotland or coach hols, in fact from what I remember rather looked down her nose at them.Perhaps my suggestion was mentioned in passing and it went from there. Hey ho ,I have decided I will suggest somewhere else when she is in a less vulnerable frame of mind.....anyone else fancy a girly trip to Scotland?!!

PS Thankyou for the flowers Linco56.

grannylyn65 sadly not

I would have initially felt hurt. Your other friend may have However Scotland is a big place with many different interesting and beautiful possibilities for a visit. Try to move on so you don't miss out on having a lovely trip in the Spring with your friend to anticipate and plan.
Your idea may have prompted your friend to look beyond her grief and, while not at all belittling it, decide to embrace life.
A Grans Netter I met was prompted by her terminally ill husband to travel abroad and pursue an interest after his life was over and not feel guilty about it. He appreciated how much she was (willingly) missing out on during his illness, she appreciated his thinking of her future without him. What a wonderful relationship they had.
I've just seen your second post! Have a lovely trip, you're clearly a kind person and a good frien! ?

I need to edit! Please ignore the 5 words after the first full stop!

I don,t understand anyone who has posted that they would have been hurt/annoyed in the same situation.
It wouldn,t occur to me to feel anything ,other than hoping that her trip my help her cope with her grief,

Hi, Opelessgran15, there is a doctrine that says "Couples leave single girls alone".

I really can't see why you are so bothered, is it the rejection or the thought that she preferred her company to yours.

Just let it go.

Just to let you all know the conclusion to the story. My friend was in a much better frame of mind when I saw her this week. She brought the subject of the hastily arranged trip up. It seems she felt bamboozled into this coach trip as the second friend had turned up with all the paperwork for the hol, got her to ring the kennels and said "we can do this, it's what you need" several times! First friend said she said she knew she wasn't ready, it didn't feel right,she felt very vulnerable that day, but agreed as it was the easier option that day because of how she felt. First friend was able to have a good chat with me this week, said booking it had worried her, but hadn't felt able to express her true feelings when she saw me as she had had a very bad few days, which I could feel at the time and didn't pursue it further than I did that day. We both agreed that coach trips really weren't the second friends 'thing' normally, and had never mentioned Scotland previously, though of course,no reason why she shouldn't, it's a very beautiful area.It occurred to me later, that I had mentioned this possible trip to two or three people I was chatting to at first friends husband's funeral when we were talking how we we could help widowed friend, and second friend was sat on the table, though talking to others at the time( I am making it clear she wasn't excluded in any way, it was a big table with lots of people on it.)Was a seed sewn then? Don't know, it doesn't matter now, the air has been cleared, but I naturally have concerns about first friend going away if she isn't ready, but trying to allay her fears and have a bit of a joke about it, with the option to cancel if she really can't face it, though hasn't mentioned this to second friend yet.Trip is another few weeks away yet, so second friend may be long sighted and it may be exactly the right thing. Meanwhile, first friend and I are planning a trip next spring, lots of options, Scotland just one. Thanks all gransnetters once again, whether or not I agree with your comments on not, they are always interesting, or helpful, or make me feel I am a bit over sensitive, though not always!

I'm with jingl on this subject.

I go on holiday with a widowed friend, but she goes with other friends too , and I feel she 'shares herself out' so as not to be a burden on any one friend (she couldn't be a burden if she tried and holidays with her are a joy )
She's lovely, thoughtful and kind hearted .
Hopefully your friend is trying hard too, and just hasn't realised how much she's hurt you. Perhaps she couldn't remember who suggested it .

Wouldn't it be good if we could look at the things our friends do when they aren't with us and think "I hope they are happy and enjoying themselves", instead of thinking that they have in some way rejected us by not doing whatever it is with us. Try to be happy for your friend Op and plan another trip together. Maybe all 3 of you could do something.

opeless I'm glad things are sorted now, it will be a weight off your mind.