Crossing bridges before you come to them?

Whoops - only one bus a week, apart form the daily "workers'" bus.

We moved about 4 years ago, just before DH2s 70th birthday. I had threatened to leave him if we hadn't moved by then...
We lived in a 5 bed house with 2 acres of land. The garden was getting too much, there was only one bus a week apart from that.
Having seen too many wrinklies pushed into moving house, I was determined to move at my own terms, when we were young enough to settle in and make friends, or at least links with our new house.
we are now very happy - a move is always extremely painful. We live on the outskirts of a delightful medieval town in SE England. Once DH has stopped mourning his garden, he is happy and well settled in. We have bus, train and taxis within 5 minutes walk, ditto small supermarket, doctor, dentist and other facilities.
We have never regretted our move, though I cried lakes over the things I had to get rid of/sell/give to charities. One had to be adaptable.
Go for it, Stainedglass. Go while you are still adaptable; you don't know what life will throw at you later...

are you certain that either of you will become disabled, my gran lived in a little 2 up 2 down with narrow stairs into her 90s. She only stopped using the upstairs a few months before she died when her cancer really started affecting her.

On the other hand, I have arthritis in my hip & due to my age I will be unable to use stairs before I'm old enough for a hip replacement so I need to think about these things

I think, if you can afford it, I would get some very good advice and make alterations to the home you love. We did a lot of work on our house and I never want to move, I would make alterations rather than move.

I would start looking around now, but not rush into a move because you feel you should. Take your time and you may find somewhere you love

My FiL didn't want to move but had it forced on him by a sudden deterioration in health. Luckily he was able to get a retirement flat with care available if required and was very happy there for his last years.
Also luckily, he had family who arranged this for him and organised clearing and selling his house. He would have been completely unable to do all that on his own so would have had to rely on the tender mercies of social services.

I'd say, at least make enquiries about changes you can make to your lovely Victorian home. Be prepared!

My dearest dad loved his home and always said he would be carried out feet first. Unfortunately illness got in the way and, after he was admitted to hospital, he was told that he should not return to his home as it was too unsuitable for him. Dad did not want to live with me and I couldn't move to be with him (at the time I had small children). In the end he went into a nursing home. I know that if dad had thought about it earlier, he would have moved to a suitable home whilst he was still well enough

Yes, move while you're fit enough to deal with all that moving entails. Many areas like the one you live in are building/developing retirement apartments. Victorian houses are lovely but as you say, not ideal for conversion, which is very expensive.

And don't forget your house may not sell as quickly as you think, depending on the area you live in of course. I've been trying to downsize for over a year, had two sales fall through and no current interest...

Do the move while you still can,for all the reasons given.Getting older quite often involves falls never mind a stroke, so the less stairs the better.

I can see your husbands point, but I favour your outlook. Yes, you may be lucky and both be able to live in your current house for the rest of your lives, but surely now is the best time to future-proof your living arrangements.

Do it now while you are still well and fit enough to be able to integrate yourselves in a new location. If the time comes when you need to cross the bridge, it may be too late for you to be able to make the move. Not to mention more difficult to contemplate.

We are currently looking to move home (age 62 and 57) and want it to be somewhere we could potentially live into our dotage.

DH and I are in our 70s and moved a couple of years ago into a retirement complex. Note: I said retirement complex, NOT care home. We downsized from a big 4 bed house to a small 2 bed flat simply because we wanted to be able to do it while we were able to make the decisions and do things on our terms. We looked at places in the countryside, but dismissed them as being impractical if we could no longer drive, so now we live in a delightful little town in Bucks where - if we must - we can walk to everything we need. We are still about the same distance from family but, unfortunately, have had to leave friends behind, though we do still see old friends often but obviously not as often as we used to.

Another reason to make the move while you're able is so that you can get out and get to know your new neighbourhood. Although we have a social life within the complex itself (which will be very useful as the years go by), we are both involved in local groups and volunteer in the town charity shops - good ways to get into the community.

In the past I was a reception volunteer for Age UK and I saw too many older people trapped in homes they could no longer look after or afford. They were lonely and isolated and overwhelmed. Fortunately My DH saw things in the same way I did and we have never been happier. Many here who are older than we are say that they wish they had done it sooner!

Stainedglass - are you sure there's nothing you can do in terms of widening doorways, slopes instead of steps, putting in a downstairs bathroom, stair lift etc? I believe Age Concern will advise if you contact them. I'm not suggesting you do it now but if, as MOnica suggests, you have a contingency plan you would feel prepared should the necessity arise. It would also be cheaper than moving, I should think. Removal costs are very high.

I agree that now may be the best time- you are in no hurry. If all of a sudden you had to move it may become a panic decision You may not make the best choice and may lose money as well.

I am lucky, I have been able to adapt my house to my needs. I do not think that I could live here alone if wheelchair bound but that day has not arrived yet.

I just have contigency plans for if/when disaster strikes and until then we continue as we are in a house we love, albeit not suitable for anyone disabled.

Stainedglass It's such a hard decision, but if you make the move now it will be on your terms - as much as is possible. If you leave it too late, it will be more of a panic situation and you won't have as much choice in the matter. I'd lived in one area all of my life, but a few years ago we moved miles out of the area (about thirty!) to somewhere flatter and within walking distance of buses, shops etc. Never been happier

I think it would be sensible to cross the bridge before someone has to carry you over it. But I'm in no hurry either. Where's that crystal ball!