Pregnant daughter

Hi Julie,
Back in April 2009 for my 50th Birthday, I was booked to go on a 10 day tour of USA & Canada, this was planned 5 years in advance. I was then told by my daughter and daughter-in-law that they were both expecting during my time away. In the end Grandson 1 arrived 2 days before I went and Grandson 2 arrived 2 days after my return, so this worked out perfectly for me. If your daughter says go, then go, you can always keep in touch via internet

If you go the baby will decide to arrive as soon as you take off from the airport.
If you don't go then the baby will wait until after you would have arrived back from your holiday.

That isn't much help, I know, but babies are a bit unpredictable!!
Catch 22
Be guided by your DD - what she says and also doesn't say

you should definitely go and enjoy

DHs immediate reaction was to just go on the holiday but one look at DDs face put paid to that. Our family is very small and there was a clear expectation that we'd be around at the time. All was well, we were there to hear the news and meet the new baby asap. The holiday was great too. Win win-doesn't happen often in life!

I am booked to go to a wedding in August in the USA, just for 5 days, and my daughter also did the same thing, she is due around the same time!! I told her to cross her legs! And, better to have a September baby for schooling purposes than a late August one!!!!!

I would go on the holiday. I don't think grans need to be on immediate standby unless their kids have specifically asked them to be around, say to look after older siblings of the expected child during labour.

We had exactly this problem. However, we somehow didn't even think about going on the holiday. When I phoned the cruise company they were lovely about it and happily changed our booking to one later in the year. Didn't even have to pay a penalty.

This has to be one of a grandparents most difficult decisions! This happened to me with my youngest daughter's first baby. I had a three week tour of Ireland booked, I live in the West of England. I had arranged rental cottages around the entire coast. I was due back virtually on her due date. I was in a quandary because I was travelling with friends and was also the driver, had I have cancelled everyone would have lost their holiday and money.

I was so lucky, baby hung on until my return! I felt terrible going and if it had just been me I would definitely have cancelled. I phoned my daughter every day and me and my companions were all on tenterhooks!

As others have said, 1st babies are very often late anyway, so if you can cope with having the fidgets, go! We would have all lost out, needlessly.

Especially since this is DD's 1st baby, chances are she'll be late, anyway. Imagine if you were able to postpone your trip and then baby came when you finally took it!

Besides, if DD says "No canceling" perhaps she's one of those new moms who doesn't want to many people around when baby is first there. That's becoming more common, these days, as I understand it since dads are more likely to pitch in right alongside the mom. So if you cancel and stay home, you might find yourselves having to wait a week or 2 to spend any time with the new GC, anyhow, except maybe for a quick visit at the hospital.

Hope you go on your vacation and enjoy it! Meanwhile, best wishes and congrats to DD and all!

Definitely go, especially as your SiL is home with her for a month. You will be there for her once he goes back to work with plenty of time for cuddles.

Interesting comments here. Lots of people saying that as your daughter says 'go' you should follow her wishes. Sorry, but I think she may be saying that to make you feel better and is quietly waiting to see what you think is most important to you ! Pregnancy and babies are so unpredictable that -unless you have paid thousands and other people going with you have paid thousands too - I would cancel.

Go, you have deserved and worked hard for it, being parents. Enjoy your husband. Restore your batteries for all the grandparent cuddling and duties there are to come.

How much pressure would your daughter feel if you did cancel and then the little one was late and you had not had your chance of the holiday of a lifetime with her daddy? No, you go, skype, do whatever and remember that for the first few days they are creating their own family unit and learning to be parents for the first time so will appreciate some space in which to do this and then you can come back and you daughter will be more than ready and happy for you to have your turn with your darling little grandchild. Congratulations to you and your husband.

I would go on the holiday. As you have said that you may not be able to do it again if you cancel. The baby will be there when you get back, and you will be able to enjoy him/her for the rest of your lives.

I would've hated if I had been unable to kiss and hug my daughter very soon after she gave birth! I would definitely cancel but only you can decide.

After the birth of DGS4 I was asked to cover weeks 3 -5 after a caesarean (we live far away). I was very glad afterwards that I was late on the scene as there were a lot of feeding problems which I was able to help DD to sort out. Enjoy your holiday and the cuddles to come.

The Caribbean will be there later. Your daughter will only have her first baby once. You may need the holiday more next year when you have been babysitting a lot- speaks the voice of experience!!

We were in France for five weeks when my grandson was due. Life goes on, you'll see your grandchild all in good time. Go on holiday and enjoy it.

How lovely to be expecting a grandchild. Congratulations.

I think with all that paternity leave your S-i-L is having it will be better for you to be ready to step in when he goes back to work.

My older son actually had the courage to say "please don't come for a few days Mum, we need some time to ourselves first".

I admit that did feel hurtful, and I did have to work hard not to be offended, but as your daughter has said don't cancel, I would take your holiday as planned. [I'm thinking your husband should deserve some consideration too?]

You can move the holiday but not the thrill of seeing the grandchild for the first time. But really, it's for you to say. Will you feel miffed when you think of everyone else getting first dibs with the new baby?

We cancelled a trip to Vancouver as birth date was right in the middle of planned trip. Lost the flight deposits. By the middle of the pregnancy, there was a worry about a hole in the heart, so I was glad we weren't going to be away. All was well, though, and he is my adored first DGS. We never did get to Vancouver, and now DH not well enough to go anywhere. Sod's Law! However, it was my youngest DD s first baby, and I hated the thought of being all that distance away if anything was wrong. Also being away during the 'excitement' would have taken the edge off the holiday. I sometimes wish we could live for ourselves, but doesn't happen with family, and on the whole that's how I like it.

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me last year. We had booked to go to the Faroes for the solar eclipse, then DS and DDiL announced that she was expecting their second baby. Obviously eclipses can't be rearranged! We had a conversation with them, I suggested cancelling, & they told us not to. DS pointed out that he would be on paternity leave & we would be more use when he went back to work. We went along with their wishes. I was worried about what would happen to DGS1 when she went into labour, but other family members rallied round & it was fine. DGS2 was born when we were halfway across the North Sea. I had to wait nearly a week for a cuddle but DS sent photos. Then, as DS had said, we were around to help out when it was really needed. I would advise going along with whatever THEY want.

Go with your heart I would cancel the birth of a grandchild is a special time in a family you can go on holiday anytime maybe your DD is saying go because she thinks that's what you want to hear.

I didn't feel that we had any option than to cancel. My daughter miscarried twins at 17 weeks, I was present, and 3 months later was pregnant, again with twins. In the meantime we had booked an expensive holiday to Antarctica. They were due early the following year when we were due to be away and I wanted to be there for here if needed. Actually C&D were born 2 months early so we could have gone but I needed to do some bonding! I have never regretted cancelling.

We are away around the due date of DGS3 in an area with no phone signal. I really hope he puts in an early appearance. You are not alone Julie57.

I agree with all the "go" votes. If the baby arrives just as you go, never mind. He/she will lose his/ her birth weight and will
be just as tiny when you get back for those special first cuddles. It's only a few days. You go and have a lovely holiday. You will have the baby for the rest if your life so lots of time to catch up.