Do many grandads use the site.

Anyone who pontificates and patronises, male or female, will soon be shot down made aware of their mistake on GN.

What is often lacking in * a real life situation* is a willingness to say 'shut up you boring old fart' because we are just too polite.......well most of us anyway.

It's good to have some male voices on GN, and, as we see on this thread, there are some perfectly pleasant, congenial Grandads around. Welcome!

However, there are still men who join a thread (some around today) to pontificate and patronise, particularly when promulgating their own points of view, usually political. And then there are those who crawl out of the woodwork whenever anything to do with sex is mentioned. Ugh!

Not in our choir! One was 84 and was always flat , another thought he was perfect and everyone else (including the conductor) was wrong. The third couldn't read music and the last one was my late husband.
Strangely all the basses were married to the altos?

Well I agree about the benefit of bass voices Petallus

I am putting in a word for men. I love their gruff little ways and if they can be a bit 'uncomplicated' sometimes, well that's restful.

Men don't overthink things and get all worked up about keeping the house clean and tidy and cooking elaborate meals.

They can do heavy lifting and in a choir you really do need the basses

Perhaps I'm being a bit tongue in cheek but I do remember when I went on a walking holiday in Slovenia a few years back with an all women walking group, looking forward to a complete break from men. We were together all the time except for sleeping. After four or five days I started to really miss male company and a few of us walked down to the local village just to be able to soak up a bit of 'maleness'.

Welcome GrandadR. I am full of admiration for you caring for a child as a first timer. Second timers may have forgotten many things but they soon come back once you start again. Perhaps if you have a specific question or concern you could try GN out right away on this thread & see if it helps. Then you can decide whether or not to stay. Don't forget we can learn many things from you with your fresh eyes, untainted by past baggage about how we bought our kids up.

silverfish, you do sound uncommonly jaundiced in your attitude to men. Gransnet can be a very empathic - even therapeutic - community. Is there anything you would like to share with us? You can be sure of a listening ear, so to speak.

silverfish I hope you are having a better day today

GrandadR, you are doing a great job, not easy at our age although you may have more energy than me! I think it is the responsibility of being in charge of a little person who is not your own that is a bit daunting, but very enjoyable and fulfilling nonetheless.

I am sure you will find lots of help and advice on here and don't be put off if someone is having a bad day and using GN to vent.

Welcome geeljay and grandadR - ignore unpleasant posters and listen to those who talk sense!

Occasionally people surface whose agenda includes disrupting the flow of threads by posting stuff to put one poster against another. Ignore them - they are not true representatives of Gransnet.

Others are not being malicious, just self-deluded about how important their own opinion is, or they are thick as pease pottage. Ignore them too, but make allowances for human nature. There are plenty of posters with sensible ideas and a sense of humour that doers not involve hurting others, and there is lots of support for those fighting a hard path through life.

Oh honestly Silverfish you are truly rude, unwlecoming and now bigotted against straight men. Everyone is welcome on here, apart from people who shout down others and are RUDE.

My classic example of a man who deluded himself about the height and depth of his wisdom - he started all his long boring and 'generally ignorant' lectures with the phrase 'to let you understand, m'dear'!!! This has become family shorthand for anyone appearing a tad patronising! I've also come across the attitude elsewhere of course.
Bus stop conversation about wheeled shopping bags ( not my choice of topic) -
'You see it's a big bag but the less you put in it, the lighter it is!'
I'm pleased to see new grandfathers appearing and would agree that it's best to ignore the scratchy stuff that appears from time to time. Enjoy the light-hearted threads and add your wisdom when you can.
Just a couple of words of advice, if you don't mind. Avoid lectures on finance /pensions and, on politics threads, offer your opinions freely but don't 'correct' those who disagree. Otherwise, relax and enjoy. Hope that wasn't too much advice for you. To let you understand m'dear, it is for your own good !!!

I too had experience of the Sam equivalent of timewasters- some malicious , some I suspect lonely or attention seeking, but none the less annoying especially on the "night shift" . I imagine there would be a similar attraction to a forum such as ours and who could forget Frank? But let's not fall into the sexist / exclusive trap. If a member claims they do not wish to talk to men that suggests a whole new set of issues. Usernames need not reflect gender and isn't it more civilised to treat each other as people first anyway?I do wonder if silverfish was taking the proverbial,
but people can be hurt and rejected by this sort of humour.

The people who contact the Samaritans for reasons that seem to be "non-genuine" are generally men and there have been men on this site who would seem to be using it for their own agenda and consequently give others a bad name but they can be ignored or removed.

Most of "our" men are helpful and friendly. I was also thinking about "ps" who was so willing to share his experiences and support others.

I think a few chaps just took up a lot of air space at times aka - and differently weird, I'd say. I think this is reflected in every day life. I have not infrequently interacted with older men who think it OK to hold forth at length and expect everyone to be enthralled by their wisdom. Some of them seem attracted to taxi driving as a career. They are not by any means the majority of older men. There are also women who talk a lot. But they tend to do so in a different way.

It's not just 'a few odd chaps' who have 'targeted' GN though is it? We've had an equal share of weird women too!

We used to have quite a few Grandads on the site but they have gradually disappeared. I wonder what happened to Pompa and more recently ps.

Welcome grandadR . Sincere male members certainly welcome. I think Silverfish must have been having a really bad day yesterday and I hope she feels better this morning. It was not just on this thread that this was noticeable so don't take it personally.
Also, for your information, Gransnet has been targeted by a few odd chaps over the last few years so some of the members might be a bit wary. But as long as you don't lecture us at length from the higher plateaus of superior male understanding, you'll fit in just fine. You'll find GN very supportive if you want advice on anything to do with your grandchild.
You might also consider looking at Mumsnet but it is absolutely huge and a much wilder place. If GN is a big coffee shop with all kinds of conversations going on and a fairly wide range of customers (albeit the majority over 50 females), Mumsnet is like the whole shopping mall. Good place for the latest trends

On behalf of the men, thank you Soutra. We are getting enough stick on the other thread running on the shortcomings of husbands!

GrandadR Thank you for sharing your story. You and your wife must be very busy people and seem to be doing an excellent job in circumstances which are not easy. When I was 60 we had temporary full time care of our twin grandchildren and I can remember feeling very much like a novice as so much time had passed since my children were young. I wish I had discovered Gransnet then as I know I would have got a lot of help and support. I hope you continue to stay with us.

Goodnight

Silverfish* Are you sure you are on the same planet as us, or are you just having a laugh! You think GNrs are ladylike? Have you actually looked though the posts on here?

I will sigh in despair and wander off to bed.
night all.

Comment 19.16.41 (I think)
Once I had stopped laughing at what I assumed ws a pi**take and it dawned that perhaps silverfish might be serious, I began to feel outraged. If any man articulated the same response to a woman we would (rightly IMHO) be up in arms. Just adding "no disrespect" does not negate a whole raft of sexist comments. I am glad you have hung around GrandadR and not taken any offence - so welcome from me too! (If the post earlier this evening was just meant to "stir up" conversation, well it certainly did some stirring, but not the sort I for one welcome.)

Rosequartz

Ignore the abrasive stuff that sometimes creeps in and be assured of a warm welcome. It sounds as though you are doing a great job.