How many Grandads do we have?

frankel we are pleased to have another grandad to frequent Lils,hopefully you are partial to some Ample Bosom or even Nuns knickers to tickle your fancy..whatever your pleasure Lil,Flo,and Isiah will give you a warm welcome as only they how ...

Nice one Frankel, I agree, I haven't spied a grump as yet, not that I wish to of course! .. Well, my boat is always ready to float, so let's weigh anchor and chart a course to brighter times .. do we have any ONE-CAL crisps on offer in this hostelry? .. I'm trying to lose a stone or two so no pork scratchings for me! .. and I'm not sure I could thoroughly investigate Ample Bosoms or Nuns Knickers without spilling my G&T so maybe they'll keep for another day ...

Oh snapshot where's your sense of adventure? Sampling the Ample Bosom and exploring the Nun's Knickers might stir you into taking some vigorous exercise, which would burn lots of calories!

Lil says she detects a naughtical flavour here,and started reminiscing about a close liaison she enjoyed with a matelot from Plymouth she misunderstood when invited to touch his dickie for luck,the swift right hook she gave him earned her a night in the cells and a stain on her character as she was bound over to keep the peace and pay a 15 bob fine...
Now as for I cal crisps she is unable to source these at the wholesaler but she is assured like most things if you don't enjoy it,it doesn't count as a sin.
Our Lil favours a man of class who prefers a G &T she feels it gives mooning on the square a touch of elegance and she is going to clear the saloon bar of cobwebs especially for you,and leave the public bar to the beer and ale drinkers....

nellie, I'm sure that between them, (back to back possibly?) Lil and Flip-Flop can render the place dust and cobweb-free for the odd discerning gentleman. They might even get Isiah to shovel in a new layer of sawdust!

Isiah is a curmudgeonly old devil he keeps slipping of to the gents to powder his nose,and be found round the back by the bins having a crafty fag,and a swig from his hip flask that he fills up from the bar when Lil isn't looking,she is thinking of letting him go if he doesn't reach his full potential as pot man and sawdust operative...

Hiya Frankel and Snapshot - Welcome to this zany other world! I started just after Lil's Bar opened, just over a year ago.I think I'm being "miss used" by some particularLadies here, but with my memory probs I always seem to forget the best bits! Only bloke till now is Pete, who is forever trying to keep me out of trouble!! Good bloke is Pete!

Nice to have you aboard Or "a broad" (these Gals!)

Lil is recruiting a person to play the ancient piano found under many dust sheets at the back of the coal cupboard,she is not sure if it should go into the public or the saloon it is a bit battle scarred like most of the instruments that pass through Lils hands and is wondering if you the regulars would take a vote on where it should go,the beer stains and burn marks should polish out nicely if not she will slap a bit of gloss paint on it and stress it and Flip Flop Flo has offered to do some decoupage on it....well think that's what she offered....and crochet a few beer mats to hide the worst...don't forget to add your suggestions .....

Don't forget to polish the brass candlesticks that swing out on either side! They remind me of something? I can't think what?

Today Isiah meets with his probation officer to decide how long he should keep his tag on for....at the interview he told Lil it was a BEN 10 watch specially designed because of his withered arm....it wasn't until later Lil realised that the proffered Limb wasn't in fact an arm...which is why she hired him on the spot to collect the jugs with handles thinking that in busy times the extra help would be cost effective..Lil has put him on a short term contract,in case he is recalled to the big house...

Hatstands jeni always handy to hang discarded clothing when the atmosphere turns warm and fuggy

????????

Candlesticks on side of the jeni

Piano lol

I know a Jenny used to spin, also a type of mule? But a piano? I though that was a Joanna?

Yes a piano is an old Joanna....there is a Jenny who goes in Lils who spins after a few sonatogens.....don't know any mules although Lil likes the fluffy ones in the bedroom to match her negligee,but I do know a few asses....it's raining Jeni am amusing myself before facing the gargantuan task of house work in front ofme today my son and his wife have seperated so I have now a returned son plus mutt..a new kitchen being installed next week the old one to be stripped bare,the 7 week summer holiday beginning,and a sick child today,and another visiting for 4 weeks oh and we are having new carpet fitted through out my tiny 2 bed semi.....my BP was sky high yesterday and have to go back Monday and then usual blood tests to accompany.....prefer mooning on the square for its quieter atmosphere...

Oh a nice quiet day then?

Oh, poor you, nellie, what a tumultous life you are leading at the moment! It sounds like a proper menagerie at your house - not good timing for a new kitchen!
Please keep us updated - I'm sure the Grandads wouldn't mind you using their shed if you need to get away from it all!

Thanks jeni and Ana thinking am going to apply for the post of live in piano player at Lils...she has a spare room she is considering doing BB...so may check in and do some people watching ....my favourite hobby....

Good thinking, nellie! I foresee many knees-ups ahead of you!

I've done a bit of tickling in my time but I've never been too clever with the ivories .. when I was a child my gran had a well used and abused upright (beginning to warm to this innuendo lark) in the living room .. I did occasionally manage to knock out the theme tune of Z-Cars with two fingers, but then, there must be lots of people who go no further than two fingers

snapshotlil said can you send a copy of your cv she would be happy to watch you perform your two fingered strumming,as you are so used to performing in public Rodney the village organist is as we speak fine tuning his organ and Lils piano so we don't get any bum notes... His term not mine...

Don't be giving Lil the two fingers! You might get your marching orders!

Oh Lil can be very accommodating at times.....but it doesn't to proceed with caution she once bit the leg off of a Rottweiler for giving her an evil look...