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Neighbour dilemma

(16 Posts)
EbbandFlo Tue 01-Sept-26 10:10:29

Hi. New to this site so not sure what to expect but I have a dilemma and would be very interested in other people’s thoughts
I have a new neighbour that shares my fence at the bottom of my garden. Unfortunately, we didn’t get off to a good start as his actions has had a serious affect on my garden. I asked him politely about the matter and he was pretty hostile so I let it go
He has now added a huge shed, a greenhouse, a patio area and an arbour, all against my fence. Consequently, he spends all the time that he’s in the garden right next to us. All, of course, he has the right to do so, even though it’s annoying to have our previous privacy disturbed
However, the main problem is that the man never stops whistling. I don’t mean under -the- breath soft tune. I mean something of the decibel of a ref’s whistle. The repertoire is pheeee-ew, the whistling from the McDonalds advert and often wolf-whistling. It is unbelievably intrusive
My DH and I love our garden, listen to the birds, grow veg and flowers now we are retired and it makes a huge difference to my mental health.
I’m very annoyed with myself for it to affect me so much but I’m afraid it does. I go in when he’s outside. Just don’t know how to handle it. I really don’t want the stress of a confrontation
Thank you for listening

Samsara1 Tue 01-Sept-26 10:27:00

This is difficult without seeing perhaps even a small drawing of your garden to advise on what to do in your t block or deaden some of the noise. I'm you won't stop the whistling by asking so just wait a while and he will probably get tired trying to annoy and find something else to do. My daughter lives next to a woman who sings along to the radio in a very high pitched voice. She just put on her own music, loud!

Usedtobeblonde Tue 01-Sept-26 10:30:37

I had this problem a couple of years ago although mine was young children screaming in the garden from 8am until evening on any day that was dry.
It was incessant and sometimes including visiting children .
I used to go indoors until I had the bright idea of buying noise cancelling headphones.
A drastic solution I know but I could sit out in my garden to just read or enjoy the weather.
It had lessened now the children are older and not so loud.
You also have the advantage of winter coming when presumably neither if you will be out so much.
Next year he may have stopped his whistling and taken up something else, I hope for your sake it isn’t a musical instrument.
Seriously though I do understand, I was driven inside by the noise until the headphones arrived.

Sarnia Tue 01-Sept-26 10:47:36

One side of me says he is arranging his garden features and whistling just to annoy you. Noise is a stressor whether it's factory level or whistling.
You don't mention a partner or children. If he is on his own then maybe he isn't very tuned in to consider others.
You have a tricky situation here because as you say he can erect sheds etc wherever he wants to on his property within reason and whistling may be seen to those who don't have to listen to it constantly as a sign of being happy. To complain about any of this may make you look like a misery.
However, it is clear that your quality of life has been affected and that isn't fair. Are you able to rearrange your garden to put maximum distance between you and the fence?
As he has been hostile to you before I doubt he will comply with any request to stop whistling.
Headphones may be some sort of compromise but it will hinder conversation.
My elderly next door neighbour who I share a fence with has gone to live with his sister and sold his house to his nephew. Said nephew is very pleasant but he has converted his garage which forms part of our boundary into a man cave complete with flashing lights and quite loud music.
Both of us will be looking forward to a nippy autumn where our respective thorns will retire to their homes.

Astitchintime Tue 01-Sept-26 10:54:23

If he has physically attached anything to your fence you have a right to ask for that to be changed. Also, do check your local council website as I did read on ours that a neighbour cannot erect a permanent structure within a certain distance from a boundary fence but this might not apply locally to your situation.

NotSpaghetti Tue 01-Sept-26 11:07:37

It's a height issue I think you'll find Astitchintime.
We recently replaced a wooden shed with a brick one. It had to be below a certain height if within a metre of the fence in order to not need planning permission.

NotSpaghetti Tue 01-Sept-26 11:10:21

I would be planting stuff and putting up trellis. Every bit of greenery will be a baffle to some extent.
Can you put your own patio near your house so you aren't right next to him (given he's at the bottom of your garden)?
Maybe include a babbling water feature and/ or wind chimes?

EbbandFlo Tue 01-Sept-26 11:25:12

I thought of this but do love the sound of the blackbirds and bees. Whole point of a garden really. Also seems unfair that we have to compromise when we do nothing to disturb him

EbbandFlo Tue 01-Sept-26 11:38:18

Thank you, but actually our patio, pond etc is the other end of the garden but I can actually hear him when I'm in the kitchen so doesn't really help

Aveline Tue 01-Sept-26 11:41:06

The noise cancelling headphones sound like a very good idea.

Ziplok Tue 01-Sept-26 11:41:50

Some good suggestions offered already, but just a thought - are any of your other neighbours troubled by his actions at all? It might be that, collectively, you could approach him, but I do understand that you don’t want to aggravate him any more than he already feels he has been, so might not want to do that.
Probably one of the best ideas to cut down the sound would be, as suggested by NotSpaghetti, to put up some trellis in front of the fence and place pots with trailing plants in them. This might deaden the sound a bit, and also place a water feature on your patio or close to it as also suggested.
I hope you can find a solution that helps.

EbbandFlo Tue 01-Sept-26 11:51:15

Thank you so much for your comments. We have a good blockage of his garden now with a large shed and shrubs but can't block out the sound unfortunately

watermeadow Tue 01-Sept-26 11:52:55

I’m afraid I’m a noisy neighbour. No whistling, BBQs or parties but I have a small dog who barks a lot. She’s not left to bark for hours but barks at every singe noise she hears.
My neighbours have never ever complained. I have nice tolerant neighbours, you have a nasty inconsiderate one. I suggest you invite him round for a mushroom Wellington supper.

NotSpaghetti Tue 01-Sept-26 11:59:49

I do sympathise.
We had horrible neighbours here some years ago.

I couldn't use my garden for maybe 4 or 5 years as the stress was huge, and 24/7.

Eventually they were forced to move. The father went to prison.

Even though they moved, our car was trashed the day that he was released (3 years later).
We had helped his partner leave him by taking her belongings to meet her mother in a service station quite a distance away.
It is only now (many years later) I'm feeling safe in my garden and trying to feel it's mine again

If, having done all the things suggested above it doesn't improve I think I would move.

Lesson learned. We wouldn't try to sort anything or be "reasonable" again, sadly.

greyfur16 Tue 01-Sept-26 12:07:50

Whistling ruins enjoyment of birds. I think there are many worse things that could happen.

Sarnia Tue 01-Sept-26 12:15:35

watermeadow

I’m afraid I’m a noisy neighbour. No whistling, BBQs or parties but I have a small dog who barks a lot. She’s not left to bark for hours but barks at every singe noise she hears.
My neighbours have never ever complained. I have nice tolerant neighbours, you have a nasty inconsiderate one. I suggest you invite him round for a mushroom Wellington supper.

The Aussie recipe, obviously. grin