Supporting NHS

Primrose, I think that's terrible what your family had to go through, you should expect far better than that from a medical staff.

Interestingly enough this afternoon we had a discussion & added to the list with the inclusion of extended family members - all having been treated within our NHS during over or during the last 12 month period .

#1
DD1MIL being treated for Facial/ bone Cancer
Plus DD1 Brotherin law also having Cancer treatment
Her GD ( my GGD) age 3 having hospital stays & X-rays for chest infections
#2
DD2 MIl Hospitalised with Pneumonia & heart failure
#3 DH Had a routine hearing test that brought up anomalies
#MIL has had various treatments for removal of skin cancer & Cataract removal

#My Grt Nephew age 12 having extensive spinal treatment with 2 surgeries within 10days
# One of my siblings having a Hip replacement
# Another sibling Gall bladder removal
**# My WW2 98 yr Old Uncle received extensive medical attention during what was to be the last months of his life & this was the only occasion that could have been treated differently for many reasons

So ,yes myself & my family are truly appreciative & grateful for our NHS .
I originally posted because of the great treatment from all the staff up & down the line .
Giving a heads up .
However it has opened a can of worms much like Pandora’s box .

I am so exhausted and weary I can’t even try to explain the sheer stupidity and unnecessary upset NHS staff caused to us this afternoon. Maybe another time. 😥

Oh, Primrose
I do hope you're feeling a little better today, and that you're getting the kind of support you need, at long last.

On Thursday a physio came to see my husband while I was there. She said he would likely come home early next week. I asked whether that would be by ambulance and she said I could probably take him home in my car.

I was doubtful as he had had very little physio in the 15 days he had been in hospitals. I explained that after his first Stroke it took months to get him in the car safely. She said if I come in the next day she would supervise a test run getting in the car.
Great! I arrived next day at 3.25 and was told this would not take place as she was going home at 3.30 so it would have to wait until Monday. I said that was ridiculous and not good enough. She kept apologising and I said my husband would be very upset as he is keen to get home. I told her that I could have come in earlier if needed and why did she not ring me and tell me it had to be before, say, 2.30? She said she didn’t think! I told her she should have thought and now my husband has to sit in his wheelchair all weekend as physios don’t work at weekends. She then went off to make a phonecall and came back huffing and puffing and pushing a wheelchair and said very brusquely “come on then. Let’s give it a go.”

All that upset for the sake of a phonecall! He managed it with me helping but he was very wobbly and I was not confident.

Two days before my brother visited him and had to go and find staff and tell them that my husband had pressed his buzzer over an hour ago to be taken to the toilet and nobody had come. All they ever say is “we have been busy”. They all say that but what they mean is they are on the computers. What the hell can they be doing other than updating patients records? There are only 24 patients in the whole unit! The days of actually spending time with patients or checking on them are well and truly over.
As communication is so poor I went to the nurses desk and asked to speak to whoever is in charge and was asked by a nurse what specifically I wanted to ask. I said I needed to know about his current situation and whether there would be any help when he came home and I said I was very surprised that family are not consulted at all. I told her what I thought but very politely! Within 10 minutes another nurse was at the bedside with clipboard asking me to run through the “bullet points” which she said she would pass on on Monday. 🤣🤣

If you can, Primrose, think of yourself as your husband's care coordinator.
Approach it like a job, pulling in all the threads, and ensuring that all runs smoothly.(difficult, i know!)

The squeaky door gets the oil (or is it a hinge?)

Take a notebook, so you can refer back to who said what and when, and politely ask about discrepancies.

You can also ask to speak to the doctor in charge of your husband's case (there will be one) hopefully things are on the up for you both.

Primrose I’m so sorry you are having all these additional problems.
I remember having to deal with unhelpful staff when we were losing my Mum.
Like you, I went in with a list of points which I wanted dealt with. The meeting didn’t start well because they were talking about the wrong patient!
I hope things begin to improve for you both now.

Thank you. Visited today and wheeled him out into the lovely garden where we sat for nearly 2 hours. No other patients were brought out and it was lovely - warm and sunny. A volunteer gardener was doing a fabulous job and we told her so.

Helped him with his lunch. Trimmed his beard, put cream on his very dry skin. Massaged his fingers and tried to get them to uncurl. Took him to the loo. Sorted out his drinks. Took his dirty washing home.
Makes you wonder how people go on who have no visitors to do these things because the nurses and HCAs just hang around the nurses station.

I hope you don't mind a suggestion, but I worked for a lady who had suffered a terrible stroke, and she was given a stress ball type of thing to hold and squeeze with her affected hand.

She always said she attributed that to her recovery of movement in that hand.
She was able to use a pincer type grip with her affected fingers, which enabled her to hold things still, push a walker, hang things onto her "pincer", rather than it remaining limp at her side.

MissAdventure

I hope you don't mind a suggestion, but I worked for a lady who had suffered a terrible stroke, and she was given a stress ball type of thing to hold and squeeze with her affected hand.

She always said she attributed that to her recovery of movement in that hand.
She was able to use a pincer type grip with her affected fingers, which enabled her to hold things still, push a walker, hang things onto her "pincer", rather than it remaining limp at her side.

Not at all. Always glad of ideas and suggestions. We have one somewhere which he tried when he first had his Stroke but I will dig it out and try again. Thanks very much.

You sound more at ease today, Primrose.
So lovely to "hear" that you spent some quality time with your husband, and got some important bits and bobs done.
You have my absolute admiration for your stoicism. (As does your man, of course)

That is an absolutely shocking list of both professional and human failing.

icanhandthemback

I have been appalled by the care given to the elderly in 2 of our hospitals. Just recently a friend of mine who is in her early 90's was taken into hospital with pneumonia. She is normally physically healthy but does have dementia which has been assessed as mild by her GP. Whilst that assessment might be something her family, who live with and care for her, might dispute, they are able to accurately assess she is normally healthy and happy. Obviously the pneumonia had affected her mind as well as her physical health which is quite normal. Before she had been in hospital for 12 hours, the staff wanted to put a DNR on her record. Her family objected but the staff were adamant they would only make her 'comfortable." It was a battle to get the treatment she needed. 48 hours she recovered enough to go home and is continuing to recover. This doesn't seem to make the NHS something to be proud of.

DNR does not mean "discontinue all medical treatment and nursing care".

It stands for Do Not Resuscitate IF the patient's heart stops .

It means they would not perform CPR. which is fast pounding on the chest to try and keep oxygenated blood circulating to the brain while they try to shock-start the heart.

Old bones are thinner and weaker. A patient aged 90 + is at high risk of CPR breaking all their ribs. The pain is immobilising; the reduced oxygen circulation risks permanent brain damage. The outlook is dire.

I have DNR written into my advance medical directive, in certain circumstances. Starting with, acute heart failure during surgical General Anaesthesia .

If the person is unablento speak for themself, doctors are legally required to discuss a dnr with family.
Even if its just to expain why they have put a dnr in place.

The NHS is my passion they saved my son’s life and in addition I worked in various admin roles for 20 years. I agree the treatment of the elderly is questionable sometimes. I had a shoulder operation last year and could not eat without assistance, the catering staff just plonked the food down and I could not access it due to an anaesthised arm and shoulder. However I do have a helpful DH who made sure I ate, but not everyone has a helpful family member. I can see how elderly patients could be left unfed, which is worrying.

.^I can see how elderly patients could be left unfed, which is worrying^

It's shocking, unacceptable and possibly criminal.

Putting the food on the bed table at the end of the bed where the patient couldn’t reach it!
Entering the patient’s readings on a neighbouring patient’s chart! “Oops, accidental exchange! Sorry!”
Ignoring the calls for support by the patient and by other patients on her behalf, to visit the toilet, meaning the patient attempted to get out of bed and fell.
Not refilling water container or glass.

The ward manager’s face was on posters on the walls of the hospital as an example of their “caring”.
We reported to the CQC and they investigated our complaints. There was a change of manager, and the posters were removed. We received an apology from the hospital, but for all I know that person could just have been moved to “manage” elsewhere.

I think most people think that a DNR note means do not resuscitate in any circumstances.

DH was recommended to sign one after his heart bypass. We didn't because we could think of many circumstances where if he collapsed we would want him resuscitated. It is only recently, 5 years after his operation, that then the true meaning of a DNR note was explained - and he promptly signed it.

When you have pypass surgery they split the centre of the rib cage and the bones should fuse together again after the operation. For complicated reasons his breast bone has never fused and the usual cardiac resuscitation, would kill him instantly as his breast bone and ribs would immediately collapse into his chest cavity.