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AIBU

Angry at husbands reaction

(32 Posts)
Ilovecheese Fri 29-May-26 15:13:40

I don't really want to sound sexist but this does sound like a male reaction by your husband because he is unable to "fix" this for you. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about your feelings.
Like Dickens says, he might also feel guilty.

Maremia Fri 29-May-26 15:12:09

I was going to suggest what Dickens just said.
Congratulations on the new baby. 🎊

Cossy Fri 29-May-26 15:10:52

Sorry about typos grrrr

Cossy Fri 29-May-26 15:07:35

What a sad situation.

Congrats on being a (step) Grandma xx

Of course you’re going mourn no biological of your own, but blood often makes little difference. Yes, you DH should have been more empathetic and tried to understand, but don’t dwell on it. DH might feel “guilty”, might just not understand or believe you “should be over this now”.

Enjoy the love and joy which will come from this new baby. thanks

Dickens Fri 29-May-26 15:04:33

Oh dear, these kinds of AIBUs are always difficult to answer, because there is usually so much that is not said which might put a different perspective on the matter.

Firstly, I can understand your sadness at not having a child of your own, however you say the reason why is basically "his fault".

Is it possible that he felt guilted by your comment? That could explain why instead of being sympathetic, he became angry?

I'm sorry you're experiencing this pain and sadness.

crazyH Fri 29-May-26 15:04:10

DancingDuck - what your childless friend said is so sad.
We (mothers and grandmothers), never seem to realise the grief our childless friends carry.
I have 2 childless friends. When we go out as a group, there’s one particular person, who constantly talks about her children and grandchildren . This is getting to the point where we are considering not inviting her to our evenings out.
You are not being unreasonable. Your husband is quite insensitive

DancingDuck Fri 29-May-26 14:49:08

DH has children from a previous relationship whom I have been step-mum to since they were young and I love them very much. We were not able to have a child together ....long story but basically his fault... One of his DD's is pregnant and we visited recently and enjoyed spending time chatting and looking at all the lovely things she is gathering for the new arrival. On the way home I mentioned that while I am excited to be a Step-Grandma it is hard for me as it makes me really sad to realise what I have missed out on by not being a Mum. He said he knows how I feel - he obviously doesn't since he has his kids - and he was angry at me for mentioning it. One of my childless friends always said that you experience the grief twice - once when you realise you own journey is over and again when peers start having grandkids. AIBU to have expected a bit more understanding when he knows how much I longed for a child of my own?