Husband wants us to go to live in Portugal

I have 2 friends who moved there 1 from the US and 1 from the UK. They both love it and wish they'd done it sooner. One of them has had some language lessons the other hasn't and they both say there's no need to speak Portuguese as the ex pat community out there is huge and there are plenty of English speaking workmen. They both have private healthcare and I don't know if this is required or not. My DH was taken ill out there once on holiday and we were told there were 2 classes of hospital he could go to, we chose the one where we had to pay something, the doc we saw was great but the premises were not.
However none of this matters to you as you don't want to go and I can understand why with children and grandchildren but your DH doesn't have that tie. I would just say an outright 'no' to your DH and say you're happy to go out there for several weeks at a time (if you are) and that's your limit. If your DH wants to stay longer then you can leave him there and come back home on your own.

In France I have to pay tax on my UK pension. I also pay extra for health care.

No. Bad idea. Do you speak Portugese? If not, an even worse idea. Just say no.

PinkCosmos - surely the number one priority is what you actually want to do with these later years of your life and you are clear that you don't want to live in Portugal. That's it.

You have a job, you have a home, you have children and grandchildren that are not shared with your DH so he can't possibly empathise with your sense of loss or distance. You also like where you live. I can't imagine why you are even contemplating selling your home where you feel comfortable to rent somewhere in a country that has a different language that you would be required to learn if you were not to be treated for ever as an intrusive expat.

Put your foot down - tell DH that if he likes the balcony existence so much he can work out how to finance a small apartment that you're willing to spend a couple of months a year in, and to do that without burning your bridges and selling your lovely UK home.

You both have to be committed to moving, or it just won’t work. You’d end up feeling homesick and resentful, and he might just get bored with kicking back and doing nothing all day, every day.

A compromise, I suppose, could be renting in Portugal for the winter, and coming home for the summer. You’d need to keep your house though, or you’d have nowhere to live. My cousin rents an apartment in Spain from the beginning of January until the end of March. It seems to be a good thing as she saves on utility bills.

My first question is "Do you speak and understand Portuguese"

Trust your gut feeling and don’t go!

I live in France and the scenario that you must prepare for if you live abroad is your husband being left in Portugal alone if you predecease him. Because house prices rise much more slowly in Europe he would not necessarily be able to sell up and move back to the U.K., How could he negotiate all of the bureaucracy and needing healthcare or being admitted to hospital if he was on his own and didn’t speak Portuguese?
I speak fairly good French so I sometimes end up volunteering and accompanying some of these widowed men and women on their hospital stays and medical consultations and helping with their admin. Without the language skills and often limited mobility they live lonely lives cut off from local society, Your 70s and 80s will come around so fast and whilst not inevitable many older folks experience rapidly declining health in those decades.
I agree with the just keep stalling suggestions. Also it takes time to adjust to retirement. Your husband will find his balance in the end.

Both of you need to go not just one of you. There are always stress and complications with buying abroad and bureaucracy , tax etc to deal with. We have had a holiday home in Crete for nearly thirty years and just sold it. We did enjoy it but would never have lived there full time especially as we got older. There is the language to deal with and if you get ill it is difficult unless you are fluent.

The best idea would be to rent for six months and let your home in England at the same time to pay for it. You will both have a much better idea then if you want to move permanently. Not sure how old you are or if you are in good health but think about what happens if one of you is left on their own.

Be wary of geographical " cures".

As you are working find Portuguese language classes and enroll him. Say you will go when you have retired but someone needs to be fairly fluent for all the reasons already given. Give him that list to work through. When you go over for a holiday get selfcatering and send him out with a shopping list. Finally, you dont know about the Irish passports 😉

I have neighbours who moved back last year, they are in 70s and as you get older it gets harder to be away from home NHS etc…please think thoroughly

Rents increase all of the time, so selling up and renting is really not a good idea. If you DO decide to go, you could rent out your UK home for more than renting in Portugal at the moment.
Portuguese is not such an easy language to learn as Spanish, and far fewer people speak English.
You would find things to do as a resident, and perhaps if your DGCs are older they might all want to come for the Summer too, so your relationship would change from daily to visiting.

If you decide to let out your uk home, it's quite difficult to remove people from it.
Something else to bear in mind, but I don't think you'll go to Portugal anyway.

Don’t sell your house. Rent it out.
Keep a base in Uk if you decide to go. Or go for short lets and short visits.
Living abroad is complicated.
Let him do the legwork to find out the ins and outs.

You would also want to have ‘ spare ‘ money in order to get back to Britain to see your family, or if there was a family emergency .

I had a friend who moved to Spain, her husband got dementia and navigating that in a foreign language was a nightmare - none of the doctors could understand the subtle changes of early dementia - she sold up and returned home at huge financial loss.

On the other hand it's a nicer climate and the people I've met there are very friendly, but, of course, that's as a tourist, it's not always sunny and you may find people are less friendly when you live there without being fully conversant in the language - immigrants aren't always popular. Is there an extensive expat community to join? I never felt accepted by the locals, my friends were immigrants from all over the world and we all spoke English so at least there wasn't a language barrier.

Returning to the subject of healthcare, you need to know if you will qualify for state provision from day one or have to pay etc. Do you have the money to self fund if you became seriously ill? Check out pensions and any potential benefits like attendance allowance you might need as you get older and may not be available if you are outside the uk.

I've lived and worked abroad and since Brexit it's really difficult and expensive. It can be very lonely and you won't be there for your family if the need you and vice versa. There are long evenings to fill once the novelty wears off.

Suggest you tell your husband that once you're both fluent in Portuguese you'll consider it, and then sign up to language classes. Maybe go out there for a winter and see what it's like but keep the option of returning home until you've dipped your toes into the water - or better, if you're still working, and he's retired, send husband across by himself for a few months to see if he likes it and can make friends. If he can't do that then ask him what he thinks he'll do if you become ill or die and can't look after him out there.

Like I said, I've lived and worked in Europe and unless you are very well funded, fit and able to make friends it's pretty dire.

You say you don't want to go and you have a nice life with family and work in the UK. Seriously, why are you even considering it?

As both our lads either live abroad or spend their working days abroad my late husband and myself once had the idea of living in Portugal until we added up how much their heath service would cost us as we both were taking medication at the time

Just say no, tell him it's near a war zone, you will be bored off your head in a month, it's not what its cracked up to be, dont leave family and friends

Nannan2

I dont see why folk get a pension paid from Britain,if they live in an EU country? Not if our Gov't keep saying its a BENEFIT,not something they have earned🤔surely Benefits are only allowed to be applied for/ paid if you live here.Or is that just private pensions from work etc?

Because it’s a Statutory Benefit It is laid down by law.

Nannan2

I dont see why folk get a pension paid from Britain,if they live in an EU country? Not if our Gov't keep saying its a BENEFIT,not something they have earned🤔surely Benefits are only allowed to be applied for/ paid if you live here.Or is that just private pensions from work etc?

You get your pension from the UK (it’s a contributory benefit) if you have paid your NI to qualify.
EU citizens who live in the UK also get their pensions from their home country in the same way.
There are UK immigrants living all over the world who claim their UK pension (based on their NI contributions). Some countries do not qualify for the regular increases, something to do with their reciprocal agreements I think.
What would you rather? That all UK immigrants have their pension entitlement taken away? All that would do is lead to a massive increase in pensioners returning to the UK , all needing housing and medical services which we all know are in short supply!

Since Brexit it is no longer possible to just up sticks and move to the EU.

Portugal requires an income of a minimum of €920 per month each. You would also need health care cover- you would probably qualify for an SI certificate when you are both over retirement age, but I’m not sure about top up charges.

We live in France- arrived pre-Brexit. I’m still working, DH is always busy with gardening/house renovations. Learning a new language is really hard. It’s one thing managing in shops or a chat but dealing with bureaucracy and medical or financial issues can be a nightmare. I guessing this would be all down to you- as it is for me. It has been, to say the least, a steep learning curve!

Check on the situation re driving licence and importing your car- I know it can very very costly!

Do you have grandchildren? The pull is very real (more so for women imho) and though they say they will visit, flights are getting more and more expensive and a visit once a year isn’t the same as living (relatively) close by.

It sounds to me that he is bored, possibly a bit lonely, and has latched on to this as a cure all without thinking it through.

This is a huge step, and you both need to be fully onboard or you might find yourself navigating a divorce in a foreign country!

My honest advise would be to get a camper van, or caravan, and get away more.

I agreed to live in our current city in the UK and hate it . People are horrible. so on that basis I would say no.

go on holiday there and see if you can rent during the off season for a longer period

Your husband sounds selfish, stick with your gut instincts, you've got all your family around you in this country, as a compromise rent a place a few times a year, if he won't except it, then maybe you need to make a BEST DESISION FOR YOURSELF.....there's a big difference in living in Portugal...and holidaying there...be careful...a wrong move, and you could find yourself very unhappy

I dont see why folk get a pension paid from Britain,if they live in an EU country? Not if our Gov't keep saying its a BENEFIT,not something they have earned🤔surely Benefits are only allowed to be applied for/ paid if you live here.Or is that just private pensions from work etc?