Traveling now - dramas

So here. I am recovering ❤️‍🩹 post op day 5 of TKR surgery. Successful so far . I thought I’d update the travel drama experience.
I feel more traumatised by the WW trip than my surgery tbh .
Bottom line is the MC has not spoken to me since we parted at Heathrow. No skin off my nose .
What I have had is a whole load of vitriolic messages via WhatsApp not only about what she doesn’t owe me for accommodation but also for things she says she paid for such as Wine that I drank .
It’s all been rather upsetting unpleasant & more awful than I would imagine.
Re the situation with monies owed that was on a whole other level whereby she didn’t understand how the amount I said (£800+) worked out . Despite the fact that I gave receipts/dates/places etc etc . That said I compiled a spreadsheet, which she also failed to understand.
So it went on , at the end of May my DH suggested I let her know that if she paid a certain amount then we would forget the rest . At that point she’d paid £600 but hadn’t made a payment since end of April. I knew in my mind that she’d decided that was it , I also knew that by doing as my husband suggested it would be poking the fire !
And , that’s what happened.
When I look back at this whole trip it wasn’t a good experience in anyway whatsoever & if you were to ask me “did you “ etc etc when asking about the iconic cultural heritage things we could of done , the answer is a resounding NO!
When you also ask if I spent the best time with my elderly relatives I would also have to say that “ I travelled across the world 🌍 & spent less than 12hours with them !
Which not only saddens me but makes me ashamed.
Anyway , I’m ranting (still ) and even though the MC told me never to contact her again , for which I took her at her word after the viciousness of her verbal diarrhoea , she had the audacity to say I “ never sent her a birthday card “ !!
And that she had treated me on my birthday in NZ .
In fact that treat was to watch the Elvis movie , she is the Elvis fan & appreciated it .

Good job she's your sister and not your husband, imagine being saddled with someone like that every day. I hope in time you will be able to laugh about it, and just remember the good bits 😉.

That’s not what happened , there was a em masse family discussion & this person said they would join the trip.

Now though during , before & after the event they are spinning it that ‘ they were only wanted to make it cheaper!’!!
One person on a world wide trip wasn’t going to make a difference.
But that’s them placing blame & always on me .
Such is life !

My goodness, you must feel exhausted by it all. You put so much effort into the trip, only to be left feeling as you do.

It must have been a very expensive holiday, your siblings sound totally ungrateful for your efforts in arranging the trip, it's sad how it all turned out, they have shown their true colours and I'm sad for you that it's ended this way.

At least you achieved what you set out to do, you got to see your elderly relatives, but it was obviously tainted by this miserable pair.

Try to remember the good parts of the trip, spending time with your elderly relatives and some of the wonderful experiences I hope you had, despite this miserable pair.

I hope you are getting the support of your husband and immediate family and be thankful that you won't have to endure spending time with the MC if you don't want to.

You did the best you could, you can't do more than that 💐.

TheSunRisesInTheEast

You are right that’s who it was along with a male sibling .
So far anyone who has asked hasn’t been given the “ oh I had a wonderful time “ & tbh I can’t even go over the details as it is far too upsetting.
Because as you say ‘Trip of a lifetime” 4 weeks to boot & without my DH. .

Now we are home the upset , has not receded in fact it’s up a notch due to the fact that she ( & I have named her MC aka Moody Cow ) has taken to be a vile keyboard warrior .
The whole thing was researched by myself , keeping the other ls involved from the outset with WhatsApp group pages & email . MC had no input whatsoever was it seemed uninterested in what was happening where we stayed etc ., gave no feedback back when asked .

At the very outset it was said that Booking.com & Hotel.com etc were being used for our accommodations ,
my CC is linked to those sites as DH & myself use regularly .

The first 5 places were paid for before we travelled direct to me & to CC .
As the other sibling said he was against booking any more in advance , so there were no costs involved or to work with for future accommodation
Scenario being that we booked as we went along .
Originally I had booked a longer stay at both the beginning & end of our trip in order to spend family time in the area .
That was also vetoed & I ended up cancelling both .
So what was or is the issue ? neither of them had a CC or a card that they were either willing to use (bank debit) or one that worked (travel money card ) when booking these on the hoof places .
So back to my trusty CC to which non sterling charges were added ! This I mentioned.
We got into a rhythm & managed to make separate payments in person on arrival at some places . Others were done via a booking site & on my CC . Another by cash only ( this was a booking.com) . Oh wait that was me who had cash !
And one I had to call my DH at some ungodly hour as there was no WiFi connection to make a booking let alone payment .
I drew up an idiot proof spreadsheet once we got home .
. Where we stayed/ dates / how much it cost / how much they had paid / v how much was owed .
Simple .
No
Let’s not forget the Whattgroup where I posted a screenshot of the above each time we changed accommodation.

But yes , it’s all gone Pete tong .
The MC is now persona non grata
Does t understand the spreadsheet .
Originally it wasn’t a spreadsheet but a simple list .
She didn’t understand that so it became the spreadsheet.
All hell has broken loose since last week & if I never see MC again it won’t be day too soon .
The even funnier (not) thing is that during MC rants last night I got told that I had drunk some of her wine apparently she brought 3 bottles & yes when offered I had some (!)
I ate her food , oh I really didn’t know that we were keeping tabs on who ate what !
Though I should have as when we were travelling the pair of them offered snacks & sweets to each other constantly ( that they had obviously brought) without asking me .
The snacks & sweets I had brought to share disappeared in a flash with us all digging on . It seems they had another agenda.
It carried on in that vein like some mad woman .
At one point we had a joint travel card that we paid for supermarket shopping on . That then paid for fuel instead & we all took turns in buying shopping .

It’s true you don’t know someone till you go on holiday with them !

Se la vie ,
I did say she was one angry person on our last day away , it seems that she is also unhinged.
As through all the back & forwards re money she kept harping back to ‘I paid this amount , I paid that ‘etc etc

I give up

Traveling in a group can be hit and miss. Try to seek out someone who shares your views and your tastes.

Lol, good for you!! 😂

I know how this feels too. There are people I would now not go away with. However, I do think you have to tackle this in very subtle but effective ways, not to change her behaviour, but to allow yourself to be more at peace with it. A sense of humour helps.
I once shared a room with my sister only for a couple of days and in the end I was forced to tell her all the things she did that were annoying but also pointless- such as asking a question but answering it herself, amongst so many others!
I think I did upset her but I felt better for it- she had driven me to distraction!

OP said she wasn't on holiday with her husband, children, parents or in-laws, so I guess this Moaning Minnie is her sister 🤷. They were visiting elderly relatives on the other side of the world so it should have been a trip of a life time. I feel sorry for the OP that all her effort in planning the trip was tainted by a negative, miserable, draining individual, unfortunately there are a lot of them about 🫤. You can choose your friends, but not your family 😉.

Why on earth go in the first place when you know this person is a negative Nelly
Anyway you’re home now so remember it and never ever do anything so daft again the money you must have paid out to be so unhappy and frustrated, but sorry you only have yourself to blame as this person or people are obviously close to you and not strangers so you know her / their temperament

If it were me i would have no more contact with her and tell her why, she ruined your holiday of a lifetimes with her selfish behaviour and don't want to know anymore.

For goodness sake it is should HAVE and not should OF.

Gosh you have patients of a saint or are you worried about confrontation. Firstly I would not have taken her, secondly she would not be ruining my well earned holiday. I’d have called her out by now not in an angry way but in a calm way telling her this is our holiday to and you don’t take kindly to the negativity so please could she keep her feelings to herself and stop being a fun sponge.

You have my utmost sympathy as I do know someone who sounds very similar and just a coffee date with her gives me the screaming habdabs.
Is it possible that you could take her to one side and say that she's obviously not enjoying the holiday and as the person who made all the arrangements you're finding it very difficult to cope with the constant complaints and it's spoiling the holiday for you and others Then suggest that if she would like to cut her holiday short and go home you will try to help her arrange this as she dislikes everything so much. She probably won't want to go home as it will cost her but it may quieten her down a little perhaps?

Well, you live and learn. I presume you will never contemplate a trip with this little ray of sunshine ever again?

NanaTuesday

Thank you 🤩
That’s exactly my plan .
I did need to vent , so thanks for listening 🙏😎

So many suggestions, what exactly is your plan?

I cant for the life of me understand why this person was allowed to go with you. Its not done your health any good whatsoever as you don't need that amount of stress on your body

Nana Tuesday
Why do it if so bad. I wouldn’t involve them ever again. I think I might even book a homeward journey before trip ended and tell the person why. Cut your losses and get out for peace of mind!

Just snap "stop moaning " at them!

Oh dear, this thread is giving me anxiety! I am just about to embark on a two week trip with four friends, two of them who have not made a single contribution to the itinerary despite many in person in planning meetings and continual WhatsApp and email communications. They have both dilly dallied with making their flight and accommodation arrangements and had a hard time downloading any apps required for arranging their ETA from Canada to the UK and for their rail cards. They don’t seem to have anything more than the vaguest idea what we are doing while away. But, I know once we get there one of them will follow around like a toddler needing to be directed and the other will have at least one issue a day. I am already exhausted by having taken on the role of organizer and am at the point where I don’t want to go and am racking my brain on a good reason to stay home!

Louisa1523, what part of Canada? We have had such varying weather; in our area we are still getting snow, which is very unusual for here.

Romola

This is AWFUL.
Can you pay the person to leave and go home? Suggest that she (assumption!) isn't enjoying the trip and tell her it's spoiling it for you and the other person and that she might prefer to cut it short.
Expensive but you need to get shot of her

They're home now, the holiday is over. Hopefully NanaTuesday has nicer friends than relatives 🤞.

Why did she agree to go with you??

This is AWFUL.
Can you pay the person to leave and go home? Suggest that she (assumption!) isn't enjoying the trip and tell her it's spoiling it for you and the other person and that she might prefer to cut it short.
Expensive but you need to get shot of her

^I wouldn’t recommend it again & it’s hard on the other party who knows better than I do to deal with the ‘Moody One’ !
Anyway , here we are & I thought I’d update you all^

Smile through gritted teeth (but try not to break one, it could be expensive!).

Has this person always been like this or is this new behaviour? Could it be the start of dementia?