Parents stop mollycoddling your children!

I had a teenager lined up last year to do some weeding. The entire family turned up to wait until the teenager had finished. The weeds stayed because I didn't want a family of strangers staying in my house for around three hours.

Greenfinch

Another assumption here that everyone lives on a bus route. Well we did until the bus company went bankrupt. My granddaughter is lucky enough to work one day a week at a garden centre, the result of her doing her work experience there at 16. The garden centre is very rural and all the youngsters working there have to be ferried by an adult. My son in law takes my granddaughter unless he is working and then we do it and her uncle will pick her up in the winter as we no longer drive in the dark. It is not easy but she does have a little job and we all support her. This is not mollycoddling.

Well said Greenfinch.

My 16 year old DGS lives in an isolated rural village. No bus routes. Parents both work full time so taking him backwards and forwards to a job in the nearest town would be difficult.

He’s done bits of work around the village, sweeping leaves / garden work etc but there’s nothing regular.

It isn't new. I taught pupils in the 90s whose parents were helicopter parents and who did everything for their offspring. I'm talking about 15 years olds, not 5 year olds.

Grandmabatty

It isn't new. I taught pupils in the 90s whose parents were helicopter parents and who did everything for their offspring. I'm talking about 15 years olds, not 5 year olds.

I wonder, in that case, what your school was doing to widen the world these young people young people understood, and by osmosis their parents understanding.

Also what the school was doing to increase their confidence when dealing with the unknown that is often not part of their world?

70 years ago ' we lived near a holiday resort.
The school rule was that no girl should consider any sort of paid/ demeaning work.
I was all for it! and mum never knew where I wandered off to as she had elderly sick parents to care for
I came across a damp wooden shack on an ill kept 'industrial estate with a notice saying that over 14 year olds were offered 2/-= 10p an hour putting sticks in ice lollies
There was a certain novelty in being required to clock in.... using a very heavy old machine with brass fittings
I was then led to the lolly section..... a couple of rows of women standing on sodden duck boards by a brine containing gutter along which the lolly forms ran The people had to pick up the sticks very quickly in order to manage to get all the lollies 'sticked' in time

Oh the conversation was such that I had never heard before ....fascinating new words. The huge men who stood by to help with breakdowns of the 'lolly train' added to it and shouted profanities back and forth to the women who had their ears covered with flowered scarves knotted over the forehead with the end of scarf tucked in to satisfy hygiene requirements

Of course I signed on.
We were allowed to eat as many lollies as we liked and I reckoned I could soften my mother up by taking the odd one home for her..... mostly a lump of slush by the time I arrived back home. She was too tired to enquire about their origin. I was concerned however when she developed a huge boil on her cheek... I had not wanted a lolly so it must have been causative in her case
The same day as the boil developed, there came a knock at the door . I answered and there was the thin little forewoman who asked to speak to my mother . She was still in her flowered head covering and pinny

She explained very eloquently to mum that she and the other ladies of the team thought that it was not a job I should be encouraged to do as I was well brought up 'spoke so nicely' and had paid great attention to the raucous banter
Mother was very interested to discover the origin of the boil and less in the language I had picked up as she had never heard a word of it at home
Yes, my world was certainly widened and I earned enough in the few days there to buy the coveted shoes (unfortunately though too small)

Pokiticsnerd, you have no idea what efforts my school went to in order that children achieved their goals and I find your assumption rude. The school I worked at had a huge number of children with multiple deprivations and free school meals entitlement as well as a number of well heeled, middle class families. There were (and still are) some parents who could not let their children do anything, to the extent that they did their homework for them and filled in UCAS forms for them etc. These were a minority but nevertheless still there. I am very proud of how my school supports children all the way through to do what is best for them. They have been praised nationally for achievements and how most children have positive pathways, whether it's university, college, apprenticeship or work. I have worked with children who have feckless parents or who live in extreme poverty and seen how hard the school worked to help those children escape their background. Don't presume to sneer at my school when you know nothing about it

LizzieDrip

Greenfinch

Another assumption here that everyone lives on a bus route. Well we did until the bus company went bankrupt. My granddaughter is lucky enough to work one day a week at a garden centre, the result of her doing her work experience there at 16. The garden centre is very rural and all the youngsters working there have to be ferried by an adult. My son in law takes my granddaughter unless he is working and then we do it and her uncle will pick her up in the winter as we no longer drive in the dark. It is not easy but she does have a little job and we all support her. This is not mollycoddling.

Well said Greenfinch.

My 16 year old DGS lives in an isolated rural village. No bus routes. Parents both work full time so taking him backwards and forwards to a job in the nearest town would be difficult.

He’s done bits of work around the village, sweeping leaves / garden work etc but there’s nothing regular.

DGD is ferried by a parent to her waiting on job. They live in a village and the job is in another village, even if there was a bus it doesn't run on Sundays.

I have nothing against parents asking around to see who is hiring.

I do have issues with parents applying on behalf of their children

mrsmeldrew

I advertised on the village FB for a teenager aged 16+ to earn some pocket money - as you say just parents replied on their behalf. It's crazy.

I didn't bother - if they haven't got the impetus or motivation themselves forget it.

That is a safety reason. They do not know you and it is madness for a child to contact an adult on spec these days

Rural villages - there was always work for teenagers fruit-picking & hop-tying & potato picking-up etc when I was growing up in the country.
Most used to be piece work so you just went along & did what you could ~& as long as it met a basic standard you got paid for what you'd picked.
Now it's either mechanised or done on contract by fast, semi-professional EU pickers, & anyone wanting a casual job needs to look for "urban" type work & be ferried to the nearest town.

Allira in my rural waiting table days the restaurant did a circular run in a land rover collecting and then later dropping off staff.

FranP

mrsmeldrew

I advertised on the village FB for a teenager aged 16+ to earn some pocket money - as you say just parents replied on their behalf. It's crazy.

I didn't bother - if they haven't got the impetus or motivation themselves forget it.

That is a safety reason. They do not know you and it is madness for a child to contact an adult on spec these days

There were just as many creeps around 50 yrs ago as there are today the difference is they don’t get covered up to the same extent and victims more likely to report. Because there is much more publicity we are (or should be) more aware of the risks.

Grandmabatty

Pokiticsnerd, you have no idea what efforts my school went to in order that children achieved their goals and I find your assumption rude. The school I worked at had a huge number of children with multiple deprivations and free school meals entitlement as well as a number of well heeled, middle class families. There were (and still are) some parents who could not let their children do anything, to the extent that they did their homework for them and filled in UCAS forms for them etc. These were a minority but nevertheless still there. I am very proud of how my school supports children all the way through to do what is best for them. They have been praised nationally for achievements and how most children have positive pathways, whether it's university, college, apprenticeship or work. I have worked with children who have feckless parents or who live in extreme poverty and seen how hard the school worked to help those children escape their background. Don't presume to sneer at my school when you know nothing about it

What assumption was that Grandmabatty. (I notice you didn't "learn" to address people by their chosen name by the way. Wouldn't that be considered "rude" in your world?)

You seem to think I was critising you, or teachers in general. I wasn't, it's never all about teachers as they work within a system. However, it is about education and what we provide and did provide for children and young people. Teachers have never be responsible for choosing how schools are funded and, in many cases go above and beyond from their own resources. Nevertheless, I do find it arrogant to blame parents and children who have even less control over what they are offered.

Education (for life) has long been underfunded. School days are short and extra-curriculum activities are not always possible. If you want children to understand the wider world and approach it confidently they need these. They will then have a chance to make better choices.

I apologise for a typo in your chosen name. In my annoyance, I didn't proof read. You are very patronising and unpleasant in your tone and frankly I have no interest in replying to you any more.

valdavi

Rural villages - there was always work for teenagers fruit-picking & hop-tying & potato picking-up etc when I was growing up in the country.
Most used to be piece work so you just went along & did what you could ~& as long as it met a basic standard you got paid for what you'd picked.
Now it's either mechanised or done on contract by fast, semi-professional EU pickers, & anyone wanting a casual job needs to look for "urban" type work & be ferried to the nearest town.

Absolutely Vivaldi.

My DGS went round several farms seeking casual employment but all to no avail. As you say, it’s mostly mechanised or done by ‘travelling’ professional teams now.

There’s no wonder young people want to live in towns and cities.

NotSpaghetti

Allira in my rural waiting table days the restaurant did a circular run in a land rover collecting and then later dropping off staff.

There aren't that many staff!

You seem to think I was critising you

I'm sure *Grandmabatty made a typo, *PoliticsNerd, as so many of us do, including you, it seems.

I'm notorious for them!

Grandmabatty

Pokiticsnerd, you have no idea what efforts my school went to in order that children achieved their goals and I find your assumption rude. The school I worked at had a huge number of children with multiple deprivations and free school meals entitlement as well as a number of well heeled, middle class families. There were (and still are) some parents who could not let their children do anything, to the extent that they did their homework for them and filled in UCAS forms for them etc. These were a minority but nevertheless still there. I am very proud of how my school supports children all the way through to do what is best for them. They have been praised nationally for achievements and how most children have positive pathways, whether it's university, college, apprenticeship or work. I have worked with children who have feckless parents or who live in extreme poverty and seen how hard the school worked to help those children escape their background. Don't presume to sneer at my school when you know nothing about it

There were (and still are) some parents who could not let their children do anything, to the extent that they did their homework for them and filled in UCAS forms for them etc.

I did know some who did and remember my friend, who taught in a comprehensive school, telling me that you could always tell which parents had done the GCSE coursework for their children. It did their children no good in the long-term.

Grandmabatty

I apologise for a typo in your chosen name. In my annoyance, I didn't proof read. You are very patronising and unpleasant in your tone and frankly I have no interest in replying to you any more.

I can see you choose to read it that way, Grandmabatty, but you actually took the comments that I made about the education system as personal. There is really is nothing I can do to stop you doing that.

I wonder how you think your posts may read to others?

I don’t think people realise what damage was done to young people under lockdown.
A very formative time was taken away from them.

Lockdown didn’t last very long. I’m sure they’ll cope. Just more MH mollycoddling nonsense.

surfsup
It does seem to have had lasting effects on the speaking and listening skills of children coming into school.
Whereas coming from childcare, preschool or nursery meant that a smaller number came into school with language delay, being shut in at home has resulted in a larger number of children with poor speech, more limited vocabulary and conversational skills.
Lack of those skills impacts on being able to follow instructions and learning to read.

At the same time as we’re hearing this, an increasing number of parents are claiming that missing school for term time holidays does not impact on children’s learning.

I think young people today are years behind in maturity compared to when I was a teenager - early 1970s.
I saw a GP and consultant alone at 14. Dentist for filling at 12. Left home at 16 and rented a bedsit. Left school at 15 and had an office job. My parents were there for me if I needed anything but I was quite independent. My 3 adult children were independent too, and sorted their own interviews, college, uni, employment. My DGC wants to go to college but I expect my DIL will go with him for the open day and he's 16!

Thirty plus years ago my youngest son was looking for a job. My eldest son car shared with a lady whose husband owned a security company. My son mentioned his brother was looking for a job, she told her husband who was looking for a trainee. My husband dropped his CV off as he was still at college and youngest son was offered the job. A family effort that eventually lead him to a very successful career. So every little helps.

Lydie45
It’s a useful way of linking people to jobs.

Years ago, I mentioned to DD2 while she was at Uni that they were advertising at our local supermarket. She applied and got a holiday job there. She’d never have seen the advert from where she was.

I remember when my DD was that age , we went out for a lunch with family, the waitress lived in our street and was a few years older than my DD, I casually asked if they needed extra staff for Sunday lunches as DD was looking for a job,she asked her boss came back and said start Sunday be here for 11.00 am black trousers and white shirt. My DD said "I didn't even open my mouth" but she did go and stuck it till she found a Saturday job in a newsagents a few months later.