A little whinge

Oh, yes Grammaretto I can relate to this at a Yoga class. 😂
Is it a female ‘quirk’ do you think, just enjoying personal space at times? It was only recently that it was necessary to keep 2 metres apart. I think this has had an impact, particularly with older people. I’m sure it doesn’t imply that we are standoffish. I love a good chat with strangers when I’m out and about, but I don’t want them to sit on my lap.

Grammaretto

That's right BlueBelle but it can be subtle. This is why we always mention the weather first before we launch into problem teenagers, cost of living, lack of shops or anything controversial.

When I arrived in Edinburgh as a young mum who knew nobody, I would speak to total strangers. One day a near neighbour asked me if I was very lonely!

Not a problem in Glasgow, Gramm! 😀

Nor in North Lancs where I hail from.

I've lived in Edinburgh and was very happy there when my kids were small. I think it's only the posh parts that can be a bit snotty. That said, I once sat on a kerb in St Andrews Square waiting for a bus. I was heavily pregnant and tired of standing. Some asked me if I was okay, which was kind of them.

Yes Grammaratto I have made friends for life just by starting a brief chat My best friend talked to a lady sitting next to her on the bus and now for the last five years they ve been going on coach trips together

A few weeks ago a very mentally ill gentleman who I always have a chat with when I see him put his hand on his heart and said thank you for talking to me like I m human now if that doesn’t bring tears to your eyes what does?

I like the Portuguese dining table thing yogitree

Baggs, my husband is the same doesn’t matter which part of the kitchen I’m in he’ll need something out of a drawer or cupboard where I am 😉

I went to a local church for Sunday service, went to sit on a pew at the back as I was one of the last in and got told “you can’t sit there that’s so and so’s” that pew remained empty for the whole service. I didn’t go back…

I'll be coming through to Glasgow for the Meetup this week Baggs to get that great vibe again!
In our local arts cafe there is one table which is longer than others where anyone can sit and start chatting.

I spent a weekend at the Buddhist centre at Samye Ling. I didn't notice the sign saying silent table until well into the communal meal

Perhaps you smelled nice, overthehill.

We have some benches here that are for ‘anyone who wants to chat’ as it’s winter not anyone much out sitting on benches but I ll tell you how it goes in the summer
I think that a lovely idea too much loneliness in the world

SpringyChicken

Perhaps you smelled nice, overthehill.

Well I hope so. It's not just me then. I don't want to share a table in eating places either. My hubs calls it the herding instinct.

I'd like a little whinge about the word hubs.

It makes no difference what make of car but so many times I park in an empty area only to return to another car parked too close to the drivers door beside me. I do wonder at this mindset.
Our kitchen is large enough too Baggs but DH still takes up too much space around me. 😄
I know how much you enjoy a blether Grammaretto. A silent table isn’t somewhere you should be sitting. 😂
Blethering is a popular pastime here in Glasgow and part of a day out if you are in a chatty mood or lonely.

An English friend who lived most of her life in France, near to beautiful deserted beaches, told me that it was a 'thing' for families to settle down next to the only available people. Ten minutes later a large family arrived, spread out next to us, (the rest of the beach was deserted) and the peace of the afternoon was ruined by noisy arguments, children throwing toys about, vigorous shaking of wet towels and swimming gear and constant walking up and down scattering sand over us. We didn't move, attempted conversation, but I really couldn't understand their desire to be so close.

Maybe, LRavenscroft they have similar rights in Germany to Sweden?

I find it strange that family in Sweden find it perfectly acceptable to wander about on other-peoples land and in their gardens.

We were taken out to someone's garden to "have a look"! It was an odd feeling. They parked in their drive too!

good subject thread overthehill see all the different opinions!
I would have wondered why she chose to sit there.

but, a few years ago I was going on a short break holiday and getting on the coach head down looking for my seat number, found it and sat down next to a lady who was 'with' the couple in front so they were quietly nattering back and forth. when we stopped at the services then returned to the coach I saw what the problem was..........all the seats behind me were vacant! why didnt they point this out to me... ha ha I did feel a fool.. but my head was down looking for my given seat number.

I didn't know that about Sweden but it could explain a few things. There are quite a few Swedish people living in this town and I will see if I notice any characteristics.

They can be forthright and would never say yes out of politeness.

we once camped overnight in Sweden and nobody talked to us even to the extent that nobody told me I was washing up the dishes in the place reserved for washing out the chemical toilets....

I did think it smelled a bit funny.
When I came across the proper place, it was like something out of a design magazine.

A nearby house was used as an air b&b. The immediate neighbours were watching TV one evening when they became aware of movement outside. 4 pairs of eyes were observing them through the window! Obviously in some cultures (they were from China) this is acceptable!

LRavenscroft, your mother was lucky her German visitors didn’t spread their towels out on her lawn.

Grammaretto I offered one Swedish guest a cup of tea. They said "Coffee would be good!" They are lovely thoughtful people. We still use it as a phrase here in our house (along with the very specific intonation)

I later had a conversation with a Swedish relative who said that please and thank you are very little used. Especially please.

Some years ago when queuing to check in for a flight to Sydney, an exotically dressed lady, my age, completely dotty I thought (she isn’t- well a bit!) engaged me in crazy conversation. We palled each other via South Korea to Sydney. Turns out she was a journalist/influencer/author/exTV person & quite a lot more, and we’ve been in touch ever since. It’s often under the weirdest of conditions that friends are made.

This is such a brilliant post, really amusing.. I love chatting to people at bus stops and on the bus.. yesterday a young mum was telling me about her daughter's upcoming 8th birthday party. she is having a yoga party with the facilitator telling stories about animals which the children do yoga poses to..
apparently they do yoga at her school... wonderful

BlueBell
Now we know why we have that reputation, if this thread is anything to go by.
Remember: a stranger is only a friend you’ve never met 😊

LRavenscroft

My mother had a lovely large front garden which she tended with loving care. She had a bench, rockery etc. One day I went outside and there were several German tourists sitting on her bench so I told them politely that this was private land. One lady replied 'You would not mind please if some weary elderly pensioners rested their legs and enjoyed the garden for a few moments'. Couldn't really say anything but felt it was a cheek.

I would probably have ended up offering them a cuppa TBH , just to show some hospitality.

BlueBelle

Oh my goodness I think you are being really petty
Why shouldn’t she sit where she wants in the bus ? I just can’t believe that that could bother anyone enough to start a conversation over it
Well let’s hope you always travel in future on an empty bus
😂😂😂

Most people I believe have an instinctive reaction to complete strangers who get too close to them for no apparent good reason.

I don't study these things but I'd imagine it's a natural instinct which is all part of the 'survival' mechanism. I believe from scientific studies that everyone has what is called an 'intimate space' which extends outwards about 18 inches in every direction, and only family and one's closest friends may enter it.

The woman has the right to sit where she likes - we know that - but I believe it's quite a normal reaction to wonder why, with a shopping trolley in tow - she chose to fit herself and it into a smaller and less accommodating space.

Yes merylstreep I agree I never miss an opportunity to chat to someone and if they make it obvious they don’t want to engage that’s ok I can take a hint, but what a life if we never talked to or sat near a stranger
Life is so much richer if you reach out
They have recently started ‘men only chat walks’ here to really encourage men to open up about, fears, worries or just blooming football /cars anything but men don’t usually engage or open up as much as women I think it’s a brilliant idea

MerylStreep

BlueBell
Now we know why we have that reputation, if this thread is anything to go by.
Remember: a stranger is only a friend you’ve never met 😊

Hmm, then I was wrong as an 18 year old to be suspicious of the man (about twice my age) who chose to sit next to me in a West End cartoon theatre that - apart from around 6 other people - was empty?

Maybe I lost the opportunity to form a life long friendship - or, when I got up and moved, saved myself from being harassed by his unwonted attention.

Guess, I'll never know! Except that I do - when I moved, he got up and walked out of the theatre.

It's a lovely sentiment. But strangers are not necessarily going to be your next best friend.

It always arritates me in restaurants and coffee bars when someone plonks themself down at my table without asking if I mind. A man once did that and then proceeded to push "his" bottle of drink and other things over onto "my" side of the table. I pushed them back to make room when the waitress brought my food.