Small thank you gift?

I guess we are all different, I would never expect a thank you gift if I had given, loaned, or done someone a favour.

There have been a few posts lately of people complaining about giving gifts and getting nothing back or something of lower value and doing things for people when they do nothing for you. The worst is when parents give financial help but want control over how it is spent.

If you cannot give freely and without strings then do not give things or your time.

It's not the norm (or expected), in the UK, to receive a gift for the loan of something. Either lend it willingly - or don't.

That's a bit different paddy and Greenfinch. You are giving something away for free rather than lending it or doing a favour for a neighbour. So someone thinks they ought to give something in return for your gift.

A young man brought round a box of chocolates when he came to my house to collect something I was giving away. It was totally unexpected but I was very touched that he made the gesture.
I think it is lovely that we are all getting into giving things away, recycling I suppose, but I don't think we should expect a reward for doing it. A smile and a 'thank you very much' should suffice.

Someone collected a redundant bed from us and gave us a bottle of beer (he owned a very small brewery). It was unexpected but I was pleased and so when I asked for some wool and the person brought it several miles and delivered it to my door I left her a homemade cake on the doorstep.Generally I don’t give or expect a gift.

countessfosco it happens here especially during the fist lockdown.
We often advertised things for free and left them outside the door .We had bars of chocolate ,small plants, bunches of flowers and a votive candle left in the plant pot beside the door.It was really kind we thought but not necessary .

Germanshepherdsmum I totally agree.

I would never expect anything beyond ‘thank you’ if doing someone a favour. It’s not done to expect a gift in return surely?

I ve never given anything away expecting anything in return apart from a thank you
I would never lend computer equipment to a stranger
I would never expect it to be retuned on Boxing Day
I would never expect more than a thank you
callistemon that’s totally different if a friend/neighbour helps with a problem you can’t do yourself
If poster is English ( she says ‘when we lived’ so doesn’t sound as if she’s a mainland European, she will know full well that people here normally give a thank you
So I m unsure what this post is trying to say or prove

We've done a favour for neighbours several times, it's no bother to us at all; one lot always gives us a little gift as a thank you but others don't but always express their thanks.
We know, too, that they'd return a favour if we needed one.

I use Freegle regularly, more to give than get. All those receivingthings from us, thank us on the doorstep and about 50% send us a not afterwards to say thank you, but in the UK giving, even a small gift, is not expected and the recipient might actually be embarrassed to receive it.

CountessFosco

@greenlady102
there is absolutely no call to be so abominably rude

Couldn't agree more CF.

I wouldn’t lend anything to a complete stranger. Goodness knows what ‘computer equipment’ is, could range from a cable to an actual computer.

@greenlady102
there is absolutely no call to be so abominably rude

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Nope I think your hope\expectation is unreasonable. You should never expecte\hope for practical thanks just because it is a pleasure you indulge in.

When in Rome CF. It isn't a custom to do that here. However, it IS a custom to honour the agreement which has been made. Shocking that you had to chase her to get your property returned. And to return it almost 2 weeks late is exceptionally rude.

A thank you card in the post would be more along the lines of what was realistic to expect.

You loaned your computer equipment?

Can’t believe it?