Funerals

I’m surprised to put it mildly that you should ask if the daughter wants to be at her grandmothers funeral - or is she very young?
This is your husbands mother we are talking about.
Sensitive area I’m afraid.

You don't have to attend, just decide which is more important to you.

That's unfortunate Razzy and it leaves you with the problem of having to decide whether to attend the funeral or your important work meeting. Is there any chance that the work meeting could be moved forwards or back a day or two?

OP

How long have you been together?

He cannot have his cake and eat it too.

How much going to this funeral would impact your employment?

If you cave and it is harmful for your career, it sends the message that your voice doesn't matter

My OH refuses to even discuss changing the date.

Does your daughter even want to go to the funeral?
If not, could she stay with friends?

Has your OH been like this before or is the grief talking?

It's worth contacting the funeral director Razzy to ask if another date is available. And preferably before the venue for the wake is booked.

I suppose that you have asked him why he chose that date, the only date that would be difficult for you to attend? It could well be that he didn't get many options but I would think that you would question his decision. Your response would be driven by his answer.

My OH thinks we should all go and pay respects to his mother. He also is arranging a wake afterwards; I am not even sure how these work now with Covid rules. I told him to check with me before booking the date but he just booked it anyway, told other family members then told me. It also is on a day he doesn’t work anyway. If it was a Monday our daughter would only muss one day of school. Perhaps there are not many burial slots?

Condolences regarding your MiL. Don't quite understand this. Do you think he did this on purpose or by accident? Why do you have to go? Your MiL was aware of your relationship with her, presumably, therefore this negates the necessity to attend. I would have no wishes of my DiL once I'm gone and would understand comp!etely.

The only day

Why did your husband pick the my day you cannot make?

You and your daughter can choose not to go.
How old is she?

Is it possible to contact the funeral director, explain what's happened and asked if another date could be arranged?