Christmas money - how much do you give your grown up kids?

Since my husband died his family have not been in touch with me
Oh Bijou that sounds sad.
for you and to your good health.

First time I've posted but just feeling dreadful . My 1 year old granddaughter has fallen for the second consecutive week while in my care . She's fine but will have another bruise on her forehead . Both times I have been in the room with her and just happened in a split second . So worried my son and daughter in law will lose confidence in me .

Oh heck I think I've posted in wrong place !

Petal go to forums, choose which forum you want to post in (ask a gran is probably what you want) then at the side there’s a drop down menu. One of the options is ‘start a discussion’.
If you click on that, a box opens up and you can post your message there.
I’m sure your son and daughter-in-law are well aware that 1 year olds fall and bang their heads all the time! Don’t worry

Every year we have to confront the ' who, how much and what' and my husband and I have very different views about it. It was ok, when we were both working but, now we are retired, I just wish the season would go away and leave everyone in peace ....ba humbug!

As I'm still working my three DC get £100 each or present equivalent (plus pants and socks.) Their partners/spouses get £40 each. DGC (five) get £50 each. This will change when I retire as I wont have as much to spare.

Our children and in-laws get £50 each in presents, we usually get around £150 each from our, both quite wealthy, parents.

I don’t give my children/their partners anything at all. They earn large salaries & don’t need or want anything from me. I don’t receive from them either because there’s nothing I want or need that I can’t buy myself! It just becomes a hassle, this merry go round of gift & money exchange so we all agreed a few years ago “no presents or cash exchanges at Christmas!” This suits us all and us a big relief.
NB: we do however buy decent birthday gifts & other presents ad hoc during the year.

I give equally to them all. I do give little extras (kind of stocking presents) and those are mostly just for my own offspring. My SIL doesn't get much from his parents so he does get the odd fun item from me . I would love to treat them all more but the money I save each month has to go round and if they will keep having children...

GC I don’t give them any, they have all had driving lessons, first years car insurance and money towards their first car. This was given as understanding that it was a life of Christmas presents. My one and only great gd gets a present, so does my son and daughter but not money.

I do a joint couple gift or voucher, and then a small personal gift. Of course the longer they are married they have what they need for their house, so a voucher for a nice restaurant or something similar.

And to OP, it really isn't your sisters business what you give, but I would include partners in the gift.

Hetty58

Scotchmist10, you are not a scrooge! We just buy for the (many) grandchildren, not for adults. All we do for the grown ups is a secret Santa, (elfster.com) £20 limit - so we all get one little present, quite enough.

Same in our family. Adults do a Secret Santa with an agreed upper limit, so each adult gets a present. We all buy for each GC.

I tend to spend similar amounts on my children and their partners and with my brother and his wife.
My father did not buy presents but gave me a generous cheque to buy presents for myself, my husband and children.
Whilst many of us have little spare now, I would still give an equal amount to each in a couple, even if it is just a small present such as socks or chocolate.

My grown up children have much more disposable income than I , so no I don’t give them any! But especially the younger two know that the bank of Mum is there should an emergency arise.
D2’s career in the theatre disappeared down the pan with the pandemic and she did not qualify for any sort of assistance and D3 missed out on furlough as she had just handed in her resignation at the end of 12months maternity leave, so they each got £1000 in their Christmas card last year.
But on the whole as they are in their 40’s we have gone beyond the stage of gifting money.

My daughter is the main bread winner too so I usually put some money in her account to buy extra food treats for Christmas. I give her and her partner gifts of the same value.

I have to sing the praises of my grandsons other nan here.
She always included my daughter when she bought shopping vouchers for her grown children each year.
Enough to buy a whole shop and extras.
It was a massive help to my daughter.

Sounds like a very kind person MissA nice to hear about a good mother in law.

We have a max of $50 but I don’t give money, they get a gift. I really don’t like handing out money in lieu of gifts. If they are hard to buy for I get nice foodstuffs etc. They all have heaps more money than we do anyway so it wouldn’t be appropriate to give them that.

DGC get presents or cash to value of £50. DC all get double that amount as money or presents. DIL gets presents same amount as DGC as I know her parents are very generous and wealthy.

In our family once you have children you get a token gift, an adult without children get a small gift. Why on earth would you be giving grown adults that work any money.

grannypiper

In our family once you have children you get a token gift, an adult without children get a small gift. Why on earth would you be giving grown adults that work any money.

I give my adults children money as although they are working, after the mortgage and bills have been paid, there isn’t much left! Money from me might be used to buy something they need for the house or pay for a short holiday, whatever they want.

My sons had money from us and family when they were students but not since they have been working.
They are both saving for their own properties and we will no doubt give them some money again then on birthdays and Christmas to help with furniture etc.

All my family love gift giving. Everyone produces a wish list in October that is circulated and includes everything from small trivial items to more expensive, I do not think anyone has ever got everything on the list and present buyers are free to buy things not on the list if they know it is something that the person will enjoy.

Yes, most of us can buy anything we need, but we tend, as the second half of the year comes round to put things on the list that we would otherwise buy, but are not urgent - books, odd devices, small items for the house.

We do not explicitly set a budget, but the £50 lots of people mention is roughly where we are at, although it can vary a lot. We treat our DiL as a member of the family in everyway, and would never treat her differently from her husband, or their children.

We would never give cash, unless it was to buy a specific item we cannot source, and even then like to see the obtaining and paying happening before Christmas day.

I dislike giving money, but I do, don’t know what they want as gifts. Present giving is out if hand now. This year I felt they thought it not enough but I can’t do what I used to.

Allsorts Children who look the gift horse in the mouth? Now that is hard.