Christmas money - how much do you give your grown up kids?

I’m amazed too chocolatepudding. We agreed a few years ago that £20 pp is enough to spend on a gift. I do stockings for each GC (8of them) as well as their main gift. After all it’s just a token gesture for Christmas to say that you love them.
I wouldn’t dream of giving them money. It’s not in the spirit of the season . Father Christmas arrives with the sack load of parcels . We all sit round and the fun of opening the presents is all part of the special day. ?

Our two daughters and one son in law and the parter of the eldest daughter all get the same amount each. We are very lucky in how much we value the addition of these men to our tiny family group.

When our son was single we gave him about £ 200 for Xmas. When he married we gave the same amount to his wife but a few years ago we all decided that as a family we would set a limit of £20 per person. That works fine except when it comes to our grandson when we often go over but not by too much.

I only give to to son, daughter, Mr B and 2 neighbours. The Gd all had driving lessons and money towards a car, it was a life time of Christmas presents, so now just exchange Christmas cards. Son and daughter always have presents bought,around the same value.

I give the exact same amount to my 3 adult children - cash to the sons and presents to the daughters. DIL gets same amount as DGC but as a present usually spirits,wine and chocolates. One of the DGC who is a teenager wanted cash last year as they were saving up for a game which was fine. The other DGC get presents as they are much younger.
I'm expected to write a Xmas list each year of what I'd like and text it to DC end of November. I put lots on it and they choose, everything from a box of chocolates to a holiday in Spain for a laugh

chocolatepudding

Gosh i am amazed at the generosity here. MIL gave her DS1 my DH and me a cheque for £20 and a small gift each for Christmas and birthdays .
Her DS2 the favourite, got a gift and a cheque for £1000.!
This went on for 20 years.

Gosh, how to make your child feel unloved!!
The poor man!
I'm assuming the favourite never thought to share/half it with his brother?

Due to mobility problems, I find going round shops very difficult so I started giving my siblings gift vouchers a few years ago. This year I’m giving £100 for each couple, together with a small present each to open on Christmas Day. They choose which shop they want a voucher from, usually John Lewis or M&as, so no concerns I hope of them closing down soon!

My adult children get a substantial amount transferred to their bank account together with a few small presents. The amount varies according to the state of my bank balance! I am very fortunate to have made good provision for my retirement and want to share it with my children now when they are young. They never know how much it will be and are very appreciative whatever I give them - as long as they know that I have also spent my money on things for myself. My son in the US will get a little more as he buys something on my behalf for his two children, I don’t post them anything.

This year they both have partners so I’m giving them a small gift and an Amazon voucher for £50, I think that is a decent amount for them to be able to treat themselves to something and it’s the same as I give my other relatives.

My husband and I have a very small immediate family: DD, DSiL DGD and DS. We give the same quite substantial sum to each of the adults in the form of a voucher, experience or subscription (or money if they prefer). We spend the same amount on our granddaughter but half goes into an account for her and half on toys suggested by her parents (she's only two). I have a brother and my husband a sister and they get hampers. It would certainly not occur to me to spend less on my son in law than my daughter. Right from their first Christmas together when it was obvious he was 'the one' he has been one of my children and treated as such.

My 3 ACs all get Hampers which they all use towards Christmas all the same value they are a gift for them to share with their partners as they don't need anything for themselves personally they all have well paid jobs and are hard to buy for individually.

Token gifts plus a substantial cheque - they have young families and need money now, rather than later…….

I’m another who would rather the DC had the money now, when they need it, than when I’m pushing up the daisies. Our DiL and DSiLs get the same as DC.
Token gifts to unwrap on the day but mainly £s. Hi

The hi wasn’t addressed to anyone in particular ?

Oh, hi!

Hi MissA

what's a token gift? janeainsworth a gift is a gift surely.
The price is irrelevant.

I have 7 DGC so it would be very expensive to give them money. I try to find something each would really like. The same for birthdays.
4yr old loved her hot water bottle with a knitted bear cover for her recent birthday. She cuddled it as she went upstairs to bed and then asked "when can I drink it?"
I have left it a bit late this year but I will come up with something

It all depends on what we can afford that particular year but they all get the same either money or a gift my AC and my lovely DILs prefer gifts... I don't see one grandchild but the other grandchildren get the same amount spent on them according to finances. The darling grandchild im not in contact with gets a gift delivered and money banked for her.

No money changes hands in my family. We have 4 AC all married and 7 GC. Everyone receives a present. We always buy something carefully thought out for the partners but tend to spend more on our own AC.

Must admit that it has never occured to me that presents to my Daughter and Sons-in-law should be the same as for my son and daughters. Would probably embarass them if I did do.

Once the g.children started to arrive, presents to in-laws ceased, and the monetary present to my own children dropped. Eight g.children, all get the same amount. Some discussion in the family as to whether this should stop once the turn 18 years old, but I have continued it. Not a large amount each, but all I can afford. Also a monetary gift to all five of my AC.
My ex-husband, (their father), never sends anything to any of them for birthdays (not even a card), sends the same amount of money to each of the five of them for Xmas telling them that if they wish to give any of it to their own children it is up to them. So, our son, with no children gets an identical amount as the daughter with four children.

grammaretto
what's a token gift? janeainsworth a gift is a gift surely
In our family it means a gift of small value in addition to the main gift of money. Just a small surprise to open on Christmas Day. Maybe a book or toiletries or a bottle of wine.

Not read all replies but I think this Christmas present giving is getting out of control. If it is worrying you then just don’t do it!

I always made fabulous Christmas’s for my children and continued into adulthood but then realized they (thankfully) needed nothing! So I decided I wasn’t going to send presents they probably cast aside anyway and would donate to my fav charities. I pick a different one every year. Give my kids their due, they are in agreement with me too. What I do is make more of their individual birthdays.

Win-win for me because reduces the stress of Christmas. We still meet up for Christmas dinner and I contribute to it. Am not a “scrooge” by the way, I just hated the tit for tat and nobody really needing anything at end of day xx

We have two children , each with families. Every one gets a present then we give each family £0000 . Written it like that on purpose .

I give what I've got spare.
No hard and fast rules.

We all make lists, so they get 2/3 presents from their lists, AC’s and partners, GC’s too. They don’t write down extortionate items, they all then get something they’d like.

Hetty58

Scotchmist10, you are not a scrooge! We just buy for the (many) grandchildren, not for adults. All we do for the grown ups is a secret Santa, (elfster.com) £20 limit - so we all get one little present, quite enough.

Same with us. Only our Secret Santa limit is £15.
We spend loads on food and drink for them all - they can interpret that as a gift if they prefer to.

We have 6 children who get £50 each although the youngest one who is still officially resident gets some little extras to open on the day. The 9 grandchildren get £25 each and the 5 inlaws get anything between £10 and £20 depending on how flush w feel that year. We are starting to rethink this now we have so many grandchildren and we are on such a limited income. We are thinking of giving the family a present as a whole as some of our children have 3 children whilst others only have one.