Unkind comments

Why are some people so " pass remarkable ?" It's because they've got no manners, simple as that.
I wouldn't dare say anything horrible to anyone.

I'm a smiley person by nature which doesn't mean to say that I can't show sympathy/empathy, it's just the way I am because I like to feel that a smile would make someone feel better no matter who it is or what they look like.

Apparently as a baby I was a sulky puss especially if having a photo taken where dad did everything but stand on his head to make me smile----but none forthcoming so I don't know what changed.

My resting face is seemingly a worried look, I am not worried I am thinking about various things going on in my head, unimportant fleeting thoughts. For years though I have had people ask, are you ok, oh, you look awfully worried!

When out, now very aware of my resting face, I put on a bit of a smile. Caught this expression in a shop window one day which may have people now thinking, that woman is not quite right in the head. Can’t win.

I would never be the pass remarkable rude type to a stranger as I have no idea what goes on in peoples lives. I really don’t understand the type.

I couldn’t use the excuse that a family member had died though if it wasn’t true.

no, i don't think one should ever refer to bereavement if it is untrue, just to make a point, because it such a serious matter. just feels wrong to me.
but agree that some people, usually men to women, presume by making intrusive comments.
think i might tell them to flock off . or similar. maybe i should practice it. something short and explosive.

I really envy people with permanently happy faces ,my dil has one. Mine however is the opposite, somebody once said I looked very unhappy ?

It must be very annoying if you have a mouth that turns down and strangers pass comments ( at least having a mask at the moment means that won’t happen) but I think I would just ignore a comment rather than claim bereavement, after all, they may then apologise and get into a conversation with you about it.
I think I may have a worried look too Kalu after catching sight of myself when out recently, but we can’t go about smiling vacantly can we?

The Queen’s resting face is a miserable one, but it really lights up when she smiles.
I like to think mine does too, but otherwise I look worried or frowning. Must try to keep smiling.
Why are people so intrusive?

I was often told “cheer up it may never happen”, mostly when I was a child by other children. Didn’t think of it as being unkind, just part of growing up. Remember John Thaw saying something like when in repose his face looked it had been smacked by a kipper, I knew what he meant.
(Tbh prefer that to having a permanent grin like Professor Brian Cox, looks rather creepy).

Asked for a verbal reference about me on headteacher said “she s a very good teacher but she doesn’t smile much.” He only ever saw me when passing in the corridor ....when I was most probably thinking reasonably hard about my next lesson ! But sadly I too have a resting bitch face.

FannyCornforth

*grandtanteJE65*
You called a child a 'cheeky brat' in order to teach her to be polite?!

I thought that too!

I went into our local with my friend who was greeted by ‘John’ saying, “My you’ve fair put on the beef”. In calm, measured tones she replied, “ Now, John, you know you’ve spoiled my night out? I could have said that you’re fair losing your hair, but I considered your feelings. Couldn’t you have done the same?”
He was indeed losing his hair, and looked irate that she had mentioned it! She had stopped smoking and gained quite a bit of weight.

Another fellow ( who was blessed with prominent ears) said something to her on a very windy day about being glad she had some weight to keep her down. The reply? “ Well, you’re probably jealous, because with those f*@‘kin ears you could take off at any minute”.

I was never keen on the Queen Mother as she was always always smiling (smirking) and seemed phoney to me. She had obviously decided on the fixed smile early in life. It was so fixed she could not remove it for a funeral.

Woodmouse, me too!......... been told I have a lovely smilebut, who can go about their business smiling all the time!..at least the mask can hide my miserable face now! lol

My daughter is above average height, when meeting new people they often comment on how tall she is as though she hasn`t noticed.

My bloke said to me once (early on), 'You should get those veins (on my leg) fixed.' I snapped back 'And you should get a nose job and a face lift.'

One of the only times I have had a pithy reply ready.

Years ago before seat belts I had a car accident & sustained a black eye. A chap walked past me on a crowded street and with sly smile said "I bet you deserved it!"
He clearly thought I had been domestically abused. Pig of a man.

As a teenager my top two front teeth were slightly longer than the rest, one day there was a whole group of us, girls and boys, standing around in town having a laugh and a joke.

Suddenly one of the boys looked at me and said oh my god, you look just like Bugs Bunny with those teeth! Of course, everyone immediately turned to look at me and laughed. I was mortified!

In later years I had them filed down but now, looking at photos I can see that actually they weren’t that bad! His cruel, trying-to-be-clever remark haunted me for years.

A young female I know had stitches on her face after a lump had been removed and she was waiting to hear if it had been malignant. She was very self conscious about the very obvious stitches, but it was all made so much worse by the number of complete strangers who commented on it. Mostly telling her she ought to have it 'fixed', and one even recommended plastic surgery - for stitches??

I don't understand why anyone would make a comment to someone who looks unhappy. If I see someone who looks sad I wonder if they actually are and saying "Cheer up" could make them feel worse.
I know my "resting bitch face" does look a bit miserable sometimes even though I am feeling perfectly happy.

I m another who when sitting on my own at a party (husband had disappeared as usual) was told to cheer up what the fxxx how can you sit on your own with a smile plastered on your face all the time It’s the only reason I started smoking during that period of my life because I somehow didn’t feel so self conscious with a fag in my hand (more normal) how dare people (men mostly) make you feel so small
Now I have a small light brown sun spot (so much nicer than an age spot) below my eye I m forever getting people telling me I have a mark on my effing face ...leave my face out of it people

At the other end of the spectrum, I get wound up by people being interviewed on TV about something very serious or very sad who have a smile on their face as they speak about it! Surely your face should have a serious expression when the subject involves death or sorrow.

cornishpatsy how I feel for your daughter. My teenage years were made miserable by “My aren’t you tall? What’s the weather like up there?” It’s taken many years not to be bothered by my height and oddly nobody remarks on it any more either. Some recompense for ageing!

I have ms and I'm often quite unsteady on my feet. I wish I had a £1 for everytime someone has said you should take more water with it or it's a bit early to be drinking when I stumble.

I am glad I have read this Post today...and I say good on those who have stood up and said their peace to those who are rude and have too much to say!! I myself have had to deal with 2 relatives over a short period of time who have made comments to me whereby I have just had enough and have now distanced myself from them. I dont usually suffer fools but each time a comment has been made I have been stunned into silence because I cannot believe what has come into their mouths. The first comment was made 18 months ago...I had at the time put on alot of weight and found out I had severe sleep apnea which frightened me. I was thinking of paying for a Gastric Bypass and this relative said in front of other people..."Why dont you just stop eating so much"..I was mortified and felt belittled. Another time I received a Tax Rebate and took a few people out for a meal..this same relative made a comment again in front of everyone else "You dont have to pay for our Company"... I felt belittled again for just being thoughtful & generous. The other relative made a comment when I was telling her about siblings in my family and why I we dont get on. I mentioned that some people have said the siblings are jealous...this relative piped up with " Why are they jealous of you"! like I had nothing going for me. Another time this same relative was talking about my Grandmother on my Mothers side who sadly we did not have a close relationship due to my Mother not having a close relationship with her Mother. This relative made a comment about a time my Grandmother visited our family house and I had not known about the visit..seemingly my Grandmother told this relative something quite sad...the relative said to me .. this is going to upset you...but I will tell you anyway!! Why would someone do that when they knew already how upset you where about the situation?? Why would they want to upset you further?? Just to add these 2 relatives are husband & wife. I realised I never felt good about myself around them.

One ambiguous, but very effective, response to "Cheer up, it might never happen" is "It already has," then turn away.
Nobody's ever quite sure how to reply to that.

As a child, I was continually being told to "take that look off your face!" The more they said it, the more I found my face muscles froze so I couldn't have smiled if I wanted to. As I have a resting bitch face, I found that the exhortations just made me look miserable more of the time than I ever looked happy. However, despite the fact that I still look miserable, I am actually a cheerful person most of the time.