AIBU about other peoples visitors

We are doing everything by the book and have been from the start, sadly a lot aren’t but I’m not going to concern myself what they are doing! You will never be able to get everyone doing what they should, worrying is a complete waste of energy! It gets you no where, keep yourself safe

I shut my eyes to what my neighbours are doing, several generations of family popping in daily.
I live alone and have remained shielding on medical advice since March. It is difficult but at least I know I won’t be a vector infecting anyone!

I would just worry about yourself. If this is upsetting you then that's not good for your immune system. In life you can't change others behaviour but you can change how you respond to it. Best if you just ignore what your neighbour is doing and concentrate on your own life....it's alot healthier!

CleoPanda ?

As a shielder, I too was horrified at this post! I have been sitting trying to formulate a measured reply, but I would probably be banned from the site, so I will leave commenting until I calm down.

“Quote Canklekitten Mon 19-Oct-20 10:03:32
Trouble is people have lost all respect for the government. I will follow rules when they make sense, but right now I follow my own rules and like your neighbour if I want to have friends round I will. Of course I make sure we all keep our distance and wash hands etc but I am not locking myself away. Trust me, the government's rules will change again as they can't make their minds up!
So many nosey neighbours, twitching behind their curtains. To be honest makes me sick!!”
I am totally horrified by your post.
It is frankly unbelievable that you dare to post these things.
Having been very ill myself in May and just last week lost my beloved mother in law to COVID-19 , I am appalled at your behaviour, lack of empathy and frankly abhorrent behaviour.
To everyone else, Sorry about the rant but my feelings on this are extremely raw. Stupidity, selfishness, inability to comply with simple no contact rules will continue to drive this vile pandemic for another year.

Those who are vulnerable and have underlying health issues should stay indoors. Everyone else just get on with life.

In my opinion there will be more priblems such as mental health issues and suicides than deaths due to covid. Why oh why can't the government see this????

My sister n her husband flaunted the rules took my elderly mother to restaurants/ shops/ garden centre for Christmas decorations and to the Trafford Centre shopping mall. Thought I was being over the top not going here there n everywhere. He has now been diagnosed positive with Covid and is quite ill and as my sister n mother in the same household I fear that they too are at great risk of getting it. This virus isn’t good so many including my own father n two good friends died of it. You don’t dance with the devil

"Accusing people of being curtain-twitchers is pretty offensive."

Disapproval connotation is all of the meaning. I like neighbours to keep a look out for me and take an interest in what I am doing. If neighbours for any reason disapprove of what I do this also matters to me and I'd think again.

I wouldn't waste your energy on getting angry,especially if your are not directly affected. For starters you do no know (I am assuming) the exact reason for her visitors: not all are social calls, they may be providing a service. Secondly, the 'rules' are currently changing constantly and rapidly, which can both confuse and annoy. Opinion varies as to whether or not they are effective. Personally I concentrate on keeping me and my as family safe as I can within the constraints of needing to carry on our daily lives.

My 84 year old mil ( lives in a tier 2 area ) has since Friday , been to someone's house, then shared a car journey . Saturday took another friend out to a pub for a meal , they wasn't asked for details or if they were of same household. Is going to her hairdressers house for a cut later in the week, and fully intends to still meet her friend to go shopping.
To be quite honest , I've given up on caring if she catches it.

Accusing people of being curtain-twitchers is pretty offensive.

Grandmabatty

*Marydoll*, I think you should rename yourself Miss Marple! ☺

I like to thinks so!! However, I would prefer to be called, Sherlock, more cerebral.

I have a very enquiring mind or perhaps, just plain nosy!

Lots of people I know aren't planning to obey the rules (which irritates me because I get very uncomfortable breaking rules) so I think this new 3 tier approach will be pointless. Far better to have a 2 week nationwide "fire break" and then we all know where we are. We may well have to have another one in December (maybe the first few weeks) and another in January or February, but at least it will apply to everyone and the rules will be clear.

I really don’t subscribe to all this curtain twitching. There’s something just not nice about it even dressed up as being “a good citizen”.

It's sad that people are not prepared to comply to get us through it as soon as possible. My daughter is having chemo so is very vulnerable, I am in her bubble so I distance myself from others. I am in Tier 1 but am only prepared myself to meet 1 person in what I consider a safe place or go to places I personally consider safe. No-one else has been in my house since March. I have nothing to do with anyone who is breaking the rules, I can't afford to. I have a daughter to protect.

Marydoll, I think you should rename yourself Miss Marple! ☺

Oh, that is so irritating when you stick to the rules and see others blatantly flouting them. But as others have said, it does no good to fret about it, however aggravating it is. Keep doing what you're doing, you're keeping yourself and those you care about safer.

Yes I agree plenty of people interpret the”rules” to suit themselves . But it is hard to accept that you can are “allowed to go any outside plat area and be with totally strangers but you are breaking the law if you have 7 in your party - even when three of the party are only 3 and 4. That is when it hurts !

Dareyouto apparently that survival rate came from US figures, was shared on Facebook and is now thought to be totally false.
There are no exact figures of survival rates at present. Could you please quote your source?

Do you personally know anyone who has had it and died? I do, and certainly don't agree with you.

Illte I'm with you on staying safe regardless of the rules

Came out to get into car. Looked across road to see 5 cars parked around a house opposite. Household has two adults 5 children. The additional 3 cars would be unlikely have only one occupant. Saying two each that adds 6 to a household of 7. Knowing the family and their ethnicity more likely there were at least 3 in each visitor car. This has been going on for months. Originally I made a comments across the road " you seem to have a lot of visitors". The reply "oh I know, just can't stop them coming". Obviously don't know the word NO. And some folk wonder why we can't get on top of the virus.

We could call any non- compliance ‘ the Andy Burnham effect’ ! On the radio today Alok Sharma was asked why people should comply when Burnham wasn’t! I am , but it’s a right old mess

Some research published last week indicated that >80% people had knowingly contravened the 'rules', but most justified it on the grounds that they were 'careful' and didn't put anyone at risk. A further group had unknowingly contravened the 'rules'. That leaves a very small number of very frightened people pretty much stuck at home. Stop worrying and leave other people to get on with their lives and you get on with yours according to how much your perceived risk is. You will be much happier!

Have just read your post Dareyouto and have also read others who share your feelings. Would you please explain? I can't grasp how a false pandemic can kill so many, nor what the purpose is of governments wrecking their own economies, and I would like you to enlarge upon this as I just don't get it.

I'm with GeeKesse.
Too many people curtain twitching.
As long as you do what YOU know to be right then stop worrying about other people.
Your neighbours having friends in their houses are not going to endanger you so let them get on with it. I am sure they keep their distance when they get together.
I am going out for coffee today with a friend- she will pick me up in her large car & I will sit in the back with a mask on & the windows open. We take her car as it is bigger than mine.
The coffee shop has distanced their tables.
I am sure there are people who think this is all wrong but I don't feel at all threatened.