Mums feeding their babies but not holding the baby in their arms !

I had 4 children who I adore, all bottle fed. My choice because I didn’t want to breast feed. All extremely healthy, not obese. One daughter bottle fed one of hers, breastfed the other. Other daughter bottle fed all three of hers. Their choice. DIL 1 bottle fed her two.
DIL 2 breastfed her one. All their choice. I have extremely healthy grandchildren. Why should you be judged for what you choose to do.

trustgone4sure

Too busy on their phones to be bothered about picking the baby up.
Lazy parenting springs to mind.
I loved the comfort of feeding my two sons.
Firstborn was breast fed second was bottle fed and they both thrived.

Judgmental or what.

I haven’t read all the posts here, but by page two, they seemed to be turning very judgmental. I take my hat off to all young mums these days. They are surrounded by the baby police telling them every move they should make and when. Mother’s instinct? ......thing of the past! You’ve got to follow the timetable for the day. Babies are all clones now, with no individualism whatsoever. The most ridiculous thing I heard last week....my daughter’s friend has read that you shouldn’t put a baby who has fallen asleep feeding, straight down. You’re supposed to wake them up, then put them down, so they learn to ‘ fall asleep by themselves’! My daughter hasn’t listened to most of this, and just followed her instincts. She now has a 17 month old who is just lovely. Sleeps well, eats well, and we’ll behaved. Friends children are coming round to ignoring it all too. Our generation were mostly left to it, so much better.

well behaved?

Shame that this thread totally lost the plot. It was not about breast versus bottle- at all.

@biba70 In essence the points about both issues are interchangeable. Ultimately Is it ok to make passing judgments on how mothers feed their babies based on a snapshot.

I had to bottle feed my first baby. Breastfeeding just didn't work for me but I was able to breastfeed the others.
I don't remember anyone being judgemental towards me. Is this a new thing to frown upon young mums for their choices? Mine were babies in the 60's and 70's.
Maybe it would be better if people were to mind their own business.

As Biba70 says AGAA4, this isn't about bottle v breast. The OP was saying she was angry when she sees people feeding babies with bottles in a pram instead of feeding them on their laps. Not that she is wrong and babies do like the closeness but I still think the OP is being unreasonable because she sees what? one feed out of? How many? Not for anyone else to get worked up over I would say. Many mothers will feed babies in their arms at home but outside it is probably easier and safer to feed while baby is in pram.

Babyshark

@Gingster if more women got angry at negative behaviour towards our fellow women there would be a lot less inequality in the world. I’m not sure how experienced you are with my profession but I have not a doubt in my mind by colleagues feel the same way.

Women aren’t supposed to challenge assertively are they? Or stick up for each other?

I’m with you babyshark

Me too, but hopefully, I think many younger women are becoming less judgemental and more accepting and tolerant in many ways than their mothers and grandparents were/are.

Hetty58 would you rather the baby wasn't feed at all ? I breast fed 2 of mine, with the 3rd i was on medication that would have killed him had i breast fed him, what do suggest i should have done ?

Bottle fed babies have poorer health and shorter lives than breastfed ones - Fact! Well I bottle fed all my children and I’m not going to feel guilty about doing that! Wow this thread is upsetting a few posters,

How about live and let live!

As Biba70 says AGAA4, this isn't about bottle v breast&

That's right.
It may have been a one-off for all kinds of reasons, many listed in previous posts.

If it was the norm it would show a certain amount of detachment, but, of course, the baby could belong to a friend.

Doesn’t this follow on from the number of young mothers I see that ignore their babies/children because they are glued to their phones. That really does sadden/infuriate me.

Welly yes, I find it so sad.

And a big difference, between us discussing this between ourselves, well away from the mums - and not having a go at them on a personal basis.

And yes, I do remember those days in the 70s when those of us who breastfed were lookep upon like green earth mothers aka weirdos. Glad I developed thick skin and learnt to do my own thing which I truly believed to be the best for my kids.

I do not think any mother who sticks a bottle in a babies mouth without looking at the child, whilst on the phone- would even begin to say they truly believe that is the best for said kid.

Enough with the phone judging. Mothers are allowed some down time too. If you ever see my on my phone at a park, I'm probably at the park letting the kids play freely because I've spent the whole day doing activities with them and free play without adult interference is important for their development too.

I've been giving funny looks being out on walks with my kids with a phone out and staring at the screen but, guess what? We were in the middle of an activity together and I'm staring at the screen with the kids around me because we are doing an activity that uses GPS and a mapping app. My staring at the screen for a little while is me being actively engaged with them outdoors, just probably getting oriented or deciding which direction we need to head in together.

If I've played with my kids, read them books, baked with them, talked to them, fed them, danced with them and then decide to head to the park and look at my phone while I'm there, assuming the kids are old enough that I can glance away for a moment safely, judge away because I have no problem with that action.

For the record I personally don't like texting anyway so don't tend to do it much, but that's not the point.

Giving = given. Wish we could edit such typos.

The phones of today are the books of the past, for example.

This is not new and each generation had their "distractions"

My mother used to get time to read when I was a baby/toddler by putting me in the bath with some toys, letting me play, and sitting next to the bath with a book. We were also kept busy with the TV a lot more. I think that was the then equivalent of the phone that hadn't been invented yet.

Without knowing all the facts around this particular incident, none of us are able to give a valid and justified opinion.
So why get all bitter and twisted with the parent, or each other.
Thought that this was forum to help each other rather pick quarrels.
We all do and say things, inadvertently, hopefully, that upset others. No doubt, this will!
One man's meat is another man's poison.
How about live and let live?.

I once accompanied a friends DD to a Hospital appointment with her 6 month old baby. Mun.left the baby bag with me and as the appointment took longer than expected (MRI) I gave the baby a drink from the bottle whilst baby was in the pram.
I had recently had an operation on my hand and did not want to handle the baby as I was not that confident of a wriggly baby at that time.
Baby was very happy chuckling and smiling, Mum was happy and relaxed during her procedure.
Do not judge unless you have the full facts, in fact, mind your own business.

It wouldn’t occur to me to find fault with this. Probably just a convenient one-off when out.

No Lucca,that`s my opinion.
Why would you NOT pick up the baby and hold the baby close ?.
I loved nothing more than my sons looking up at me and smiling.PRICELESS.