Awkward

My sister has been having Tesco deliveries all through Lockdown. I asked her what she would do if the delivery chap asked to use her loo (she is not shielding, but has not been out the first 12 weeks). She said that wouldn’t happen as they went back to base every couple of hours or so, but she would refuse if asked.

Blow me, next time I spoke to her, that’s just what happened- he asked to use loo and she reluctantly let him as she didn’t know how to refuse.

It is awkward though.

Our postman has been delivering to us since 1066. I couldn’t refuse such a request and I’m lucky enough to have a downstairs loo by the back door which is for the use of visitors during this pandemic.

I would however have said to him, that there are paper towel, for drying hands, a waste bin, and ask if he’d spray disinfectant on surfaces he’d touched.

What a dilemma for both you and him. Made me recall when we were in the throes of moving from out of our last house and the removal men were doing their stuff, whilst husband and I were going through the house with our cleaning materials. Having scrubbed bathrooms and toilets within an inch of their lives, one of the removal men asked if he could use the loo. Well of course, after all it was a long job to be expected............only he emerged quite a while later with a "sorry luv I had a curry last night, so your loo is a bit of a no go area" Nice!

Oh dear - what a dilemma! I honestly can’t say what my answer would have been, but I just know for sure that I wouldn’t have been able to say “yes” readily. I might also, like you, have said “no, sorry”. I just hope I’m never asked that question! And I hope the postie soon found another loo! Xx ps please don’t feel bad about it - easier said than done, I realise!

Depends did you say no because of Covid or because you were afraid of a unknown man coming in your house
The first wouldn’t have worried me I d have had a spray round afterwards but I d not really feel too comfortable, living on my own and letting a stranger in, however if he was a bone fide postman especially if you seen him on your round before I think I would have Poor chap, nothing worse

I think it all depends.....if you know your postie well for instance? No postman, either ones we have known well and those we didn’t ever asked to use the loo ( in 50 years!)
We had our boiler serviced last week, and the engineer asked if he could use the loo ( by the back door) not the main bathroom.We said yes, as he was working here.He took special spray in with him and was only in there for a minute.
Parcel delivery drivers or anyone else just calling at the door would be denied entry at any time.

*key in the lock syndrome" good phrase. Never heard that before. Must tell my OH there's a name for what he has ?

Yes, I would have agreed. Someone who didn't know me at all let me use their loo in extremis, not recently, but I feel an obligation. I too have Flash bleach cleaning spray, cloths and gloves. I also have more than one loo.

I have had episodes of IBS, and was caught short whilst waiting for an eye test in a very well known optician chain. I asked to use their toilet and was very firmly refused, this was long before CV-19. The humiliation and terror will stay with me, pleading with them in an open shop and then having to rush out in a panic, praying that I would make the public one hundreds of yards away. I would never put anyone else through that.

Very difficult situation. Our posties now come down in 2 vehicles - the post van (which they used to share) and the lady postie's own car. I overheard her say to him as she got out the other day I'm dying for a wee and it made me wonder how they cope when out on their rounds.

It has happened to me once but not during lockdown - I probably would say ok but only because they could come through another door to the downstairs loo. I have a basket of face flannels we use as hand towels and throw in a waste basket so would just need to empty it straight into the washer. If we've had visitors in the garden I've sanitised everything for them and we go to the upstairs loo.

I couldn’t turn anyone away in these circumstances, unless I thought they were up to no good. We’re all human.

I can't remember how long ago but it's once in the past 15 years that an Ocado driver very apologetically asked to use the loo.

Poor chap, young student type, said "I'm not supposed to ask, but could I please use your loo?"

And of course I let him. I felt confident with his manner, although I'd never met him before.

I would have let him use our toilet. As would my husband.
Even in these days of risk of cross- infetion. No question.

same here - but we have the same few postmen so sort of 'know them' - they are all very friendly and polite. I mean, how could anyone say NO to someone desperate when doing his job?

Aren't we getting a little bit dramatic here? The OP didn't say the postman was desperate. He might not even have been a regular postman. We all have to do our own risk assessments these days so it's unfair to judge.

We all have to make decisions we are comfortable with. But I would think a postman would have to be desperately in need to ask.

Some very Judgemental comments on here....

I am not as Fortunate as some of you to have regular postman it’s a different one nearly every day and no I am not comfortable letting a stranger into my house and I make no apology for that...

Aren’t you asking people to judge your actions, though, when you post in AIBU?

Aren't you asking us AIBU?

Yes but I did not expect such harsh criticism

I've only read one or two that seemed in any way harsh Shinamae.
Most people understood the dilemma. And presented with the request and replying in that moment is different to us having time to consider it. You did what seemed best to you. That's all we can do.

After reading all the replies I've thought again and now I think normally I would let him use the toilet.
But if I or anyone in the house is 'shielding' or whatever it's called I would say no, sorry and give the reason. Also as Lemon said, it depends whether you've known the postie for a long time. Ours is very good, though there have been regular replacements recently.