Don’t want to go

I refuse to consider that anyone is better than I am. They might have more money bigger houses etc. That is not what I think of as a better person, especially if they look down their noses at you. It just means they are ill mannered.
Go enjoy yourself as you normally would, if they don’t like it, tough it’s their loss

Go with your other friend, there's strength in numbers and you two can chat. You might even have a good time.

If you don't want to go, then don't go. I don't particualrly like 'get togethers' as someone always misbehaves either through too much to drink, or they tend to show off.

I always make an excuse or just say it's not my 'thing'.

If you know he would like you there why not do it for him. Tell yourself you are just as good as them.I imagine maybe you see him more than they do as you are also a neighbour as well as a friend dont you think he may be hurt if you do not make this effort.

You will no doubt hurt your neighbour if refusing to go to the party Grin and bear as this refusal to go will only serve to put the ball in your friends daughters court and no doubt give her something no doubt derogatory to say about you to her father. The choice is yours .

If it is the kind of party where you can just pop in for a while, then leave, then that is what I would do.

If just showing your face then leaving is likely to cause offence, you can be unable to attend. You don't have to give a reason, but if they can see that lights are on in your house, then you will just have to go out somewhere for the evening.

I don't know when you planned to go out for lunch. If it were to be on the same day as the party (his birthday), which I'm assuming would be in the evening, then why not still meet for lunch? Then when you pop in to the party you could say something along the lines of "I won't stop long as we celebrated at lunchtime. Just wanted to check you are having a good time!"

I’d go with your friend who also isn’t keen on going and you two can huddle together for an hour or so giving each other ? looks. Then also organise your own thing as you suggested as well.

I don’t do anything I don’t want to do and I don’t ever give a reason. It’s up to you of course but if you don’t want to go don’t.

I think you should go - your friend would be upset if you don't. You'll probably enjoy it once you're there (& yes, I do sound just like my mum when I was six and didn't want to go to something) If it's quite a big party you can avoid the ones you don't want to talk to. And if it's a small do then your presence will even more valued. Me, I'd go and listen to everything the snobby ones said but then with my job, it's all potential material.

either go but just say you can only pop in, and then leave, or do something like a lunch with just your friend, i like most people now distance myself from negative people, i dont need it in my life and im happier without them, as you would be with just a good lunch

Definitely go along, it's for someone you like and I always try to put myself in some elses shoes. I imagine that she would be glad to pop along to a party for you. Who knows, it might be great!

Do you actually know the daughter or are you just going by what her father tells you? In which case, I would go out of sheer curiosity just to find out if he's right! Also, I agree with others - it's a kind thing to do, especially if you can go with another neighbour for support. And remember - it doesn't matter a jot what THEY think of you. Love this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt "no-one can make you inferior without your consent". So, don't consent!

If your neighbour is your friend , the party is for her, not her daughter and rest of family, so go !
I have often found that people that you see as snobs are very often very unsure of themselves and just go over the top and end up giving people the wrong idea entirely!
You barely have to speak to the woman, beyond a hello and goodbye- doubt if you will be the only one that has been invited!

Yes go with your other friend,for moral support for you both.make a dinner booking or some such for the both of you,so you can genuinely say " we must go now,weve booked a table",or whatever.you can still take your birthday friend out for lunch or dinner another time,just the 2 of you.

I think it’s more awkward because she’s your neighbour. If she was an old friend who lives miles away, it might be easier. Like many of the posts have said, just go for a short time, maybe with this other friend, and then make excuses to leave. You never know, you might really enjoy it and there may be other people there who you weren’t expecting. Better to go and leave, than not to go and worry about what it would have been like.

Ask yourself what is important here?
Your friend, her celebration.
You might want to check it’s not you being a little judgmental but even if they are all Jacob Rees Moggs, so what?, be kind, you might even enjoy yourself.

If it's a party then lots of different people will be there so you should go just because this is for a special friend.
I doubt if the daughter will have time to say anything to you as she no doubt will be playing hostess and you're friend will appreciate you being there

I would not go, I am sure there is a nice excuse somewhere and then you could invite your neighbour as planned, to lunch somewhere,I am sure he would appreciate that more.There is no point in making yourself miserable just to please someone you dont like.
Your friend might loathe a surprise party.

If your friend has a sense of humour about their snobbery, go and play up to the steriotype be as "common" as you can and have fun with it

You could just go and get drunk! Then you won't care about snobby comments and can answer back.

Of course you should go. Just be grown up and rise above his daughter’s comments. You can always make an excuse to leave early.

Don’t go x

I know how you must feel, life is too short to do things you don't feel comfortable with or people you don't want to be with, but your friend would like you to be there. So, just pop in for an hour and warn him already in advance that you can only stay for a short time, have an excuse ready, but already arrange to take your friend out somewhere later, then you have the best of both worlds!

If you don’t want to go don’t be a wimp. Life is to short !!!!