That us GN's have missed out again!

Can I join please?
Positives:
I am very polite
I am very good at obeying orders
I have all my own teeth

Negatives:
I swear like a good 'un
I am moody most of the time
I need to eat every 3 hours (or I swear and get very moody!)

I look forward to hearing if I am on the list

Can I come as a general dogsbody?

+ I am a whizz with a needle and thread, can sew on missing buttons and do alterations to your ball gowns on the fly. At a pinch I can also stitch up wounds if we get into any dockside bar fights.

+ They have quiz nights on cruises don't they? I'm a good all-rounder in a quiz team, and specialise in the green wedge in Trivial Pursuits.

+ I have lost my sense of smell completely, so I am unaffected by sea-sickness sufferers barfing, and have lots of experience clearing up explosive diarrhea if there is an outbreak of Norovirus.

- I love to sing; I have a voice like a cinder stuck under a door, but that has never stopped me singing. I'll have to stand at the back of the choir.

- I don't suffer fools, gladly or otherwise.

- I am of an age when bum burps are unavoidable, but blasé enough to carry them off without needing to look accusingly at the person nearest me.

Did I say General Dogsbody? Think Admiral Admirable Crichton.

Only if you can spell, PamelaJ1,see bossy boots is on parade.

I can count up to ren in:
English
French
American,
Canadian
Cantonese
& Ausralian.
Can I come too?

It's a bit off track but has anyone watched the programme "Coach Trip" lately? When it first started it had a variety of people of all ages including some oldies. Looked at it the other day and it's now all young wannabes probably trying to get into television. They are a boring bunch!
My qualifications for this
I'm very bolshie
I need to be well supplied with caffeine or I stage a wobbly.(especially at breakfast)
I complain about everything (particularly small amounts of coffee, see above)
I'm easy going -anyone can be in charge. I don't care.
I'm good at finding my way around places.
I can (and do) sleep anywhere.

I know I'm not in any position to give orders but if I may make a teensy suggestion... Kk Boss I think it should be first come first served then if we're over subscribed you could then start knocking people off the list. Just a suggestion mind you ... not trying to get above my station or owt like that pet

Anyway every road trip needs a token Geordie to laugh at !

I can say all sorts of things about myself, but am incapable of deciding if they are positives or negatives

- I am bossy beyond belief but am not interested in a position of command because
- I can do lazy like no other (bossing is inordinately tiring)
- I can spell
- I can swear like a trooper, and have a loud voice - no point in swearing if nobody can hear you
- Alas, I fear my husband farts much better than me, but I am a champion at snoring (according to the aforementioned husband)
- I am told I am a lot of fun

Puhlease can i come?

We are not getting into any argy bargy before we have, I mean before I have, decided who is even going, I will need a 2nd in Command, you may be selected, but its not looking good with that sort of attitude. For all your information, I am now in close contact with the Television People, see the other thread about the request for Grans for a show, I am currently getting them to change the format so we get our luxury trip to Prague. Shortlist to follow and I think we could have 45 peeps, so plenty of room at the moment.

You will all have to agree to differ. I am in charge. I tell you all I will brook no dissension in the ranks. Did I make that clear, I will sulk for days otherwise.
1/ I could, at the least, build a flat pack wardrobe/CD cupboard, see AN other thread.
2/ I can bring frozen mashed potatoes.
3/ I could be in charge of currency.
Do I qualify? Pretty please.

We are all going on an all expenses trip to Prague for an imaginary a television series grannyactivist

Given that Kateykruch is a self confessed control freak she is in charge and she is picking who will be allowed to go along based on a weird selection process of naming three positives and three negatives about yourself and/or your personality. Its really quite simple and we do need to have good variety of personalities to keep our viewers entertained.

Erm...................what are you all talking about?

Ok....

I know how to use a knife and fork ( don't baffle me with 6 of each though)

I have been known to raise a half smile (or is it wind?) at a dirty joke (although can't tell them to save my life)

I am not a fussy eater and will eat almost anything (except baaa lambs)

You all sound like great fun. Can I kjoin the reserve list please. Got no claims to fame - prob be a runner up to Gilly.

You need me because I know how to stay calm in a crisis, so when other members are behaving disgracefully, spitting in public and dancing drunkenly around national monuments and sacred spaces, I would be the one that smiles sweetly at the local police / army reinforcements and makes all the right noises to get them out of jail!
I would also smuggle in copious amount of red wine and home-made sloe gin and drinking vessels and -if we are geographically challenged, I could sort us out by looking at the night sky / position of the sun on the landscape.

Downsides:
Limited foreign lingo - aforementioned liaisons with foreign country officials might have to include a lot of eye-fluttering, low neckline stuff ... (I do love a uniform! )
I might want to smuggle DH along, just for the night-time spot - would send him on his way in the daytime, honest ...
I can tend to cackle rather loudly and start to use my 'inappropriately dark humour' in public places once I have had a few ...

But please, pretty please, I could do with a lovely break xx

I am even more miserable than gilly;
I dress like a tramp, so no-one will want to be seen with me at the Captains cocktail party;
I can't keep,my hands off a man in uniform, so would bring shame on you all!
Positives:
I know which knife and fork to use;
If we run out of food, I can fish over the side of the boat (I'll bring an extra long line!)
When drunk I have never been known to throw up over a friend!

Come on Gilly, 3 + and you're in!
Please note, private messaging offering me cash, crisps and cake, will not get you higher on the list!, well, maybe lol.

Meant to add I would love to go to Prague and those activities would suit me down to the ground.

Oh sh*t does there really have to be positives Kateykrunch? Could I not qualify with 6 negatives instead?

1) I am a miserable cow
2) I ruin every photograph (which could be a positive for other beautifully challenged members as I would make them look fab...you....luss).
3) I love arguing about things I know nowt about.
4) I use the wrong words all the time
5) I sing like a cow farting through a small tooth comb
6) I am always dizzy (so no-one would know if I were drunk or seasick)

Exactly!, we did indeed sign up for the last jolly, so, that's me in charge, I will be selecting candidates, please forward your 3 positives and 3 negatives, so I can assess fairly who will be going. Mine are:- I am a control freak, I like to be in charge, I (think) I trump in bed!, but I am lovely, funny and very, very kind.
I am planning (as, did I mention, I'm in charge) a 6 star hotel, possibly Prague, some lovely sightseeing, trips out, lovely meals, walks, relaxing, chatting. This will be a taster of course before I arrange a warm and sunny destination for Series 2. We will not be voting each other off, however much I, I mean anyone gets annoying. Get your applications in!

Yes I signed up for the last "jolly" Auntieflo had my suit case packed and my sun cream in hand but sadly it was cancelled at the last minute due to unforeseen circumstances, we never quite got to the bottom of.

I can't sing (well not in tune anyway) but every good trip needs a misery guts don't they? .... someone the viewers love to hate.

Me! Me! I can sing! We could have a GN choir on the cruise.

How many of us signed up for the last 'jolly'? We should be first on the list. ?

Now that I like starbird! Do we have any budding Jane MacDonalds?

Better still a GN cruise ......

..... and in the late night episode (well not too late obviously, we need our beauty sleep) we could sit round sipping fizz putting the world to rights.