To worry about dying alone

I live in a corner where we have 8 or 9 properties,all occupied by elderly folk.We all keep an eye out for each other even though we don't chat or see each other every day.Some of us phone each other daily and check on us going out and about,also several people have keys to each others house and in some cases next of kin numbers if they're not local. It all works very well.

Someone has invented a 'smart plug' which monitors the kettle and TV going on it can send a message via the internet to a phone or computer. It's called 3rings www.3rings.co.uk it's been on Dragons Den and is sponsored by Westfield Health

The aim of the smart plug is to monitor normal activity and let a designated person know if the routine is broken

I was very interested in the smart plug but it is expensive and the cost is on going.

Wishing you all the best rubylady sounds like you have been through so much and understandably you are still fragile. Hopefully with time and lots of rest you will start to feel much stronger, ongoing health problems can wear you down.

Best wishes also to annsixty.

I did used to worry about that but having had an alarm system put in and a keysafe outside the door I thought that there was no point in continuing to fret especially as I don't want to move from here. I have a very nice young woman who lives in the flat opposite me and she will knock on my door if she doesn't see me for a few days.. she takes down my refuse bin every week which I really appreciate as I am disabled.
Sometimes we have to accept the things that we can't change and just get on with it.

We just don't know do we?

Someone with whom I was acquainted died suddenly this week, hale and hearty and with so much planned for the future. I didn't know him well, but those who did (and there are many) are just devastated. He was 52.

My parents had an agreement with the folk who live directly opposite. They were keyholders and if the bedroom curtains were not opened by a specific time in the mornings the neighbours were to ring the bell then come in. Is there anyone nearby who could do that for u and u could do it for them?

It is a very good idea to put some kind of system jn place to 'check in' daily as it could be such a shock for someone to suddemly discover a body. I am not so bothered about dying alone as to be ill alone and unable to summon assistance and I would be more than just put out by 'snuffing it' unnecessarily!
When we bought our current home there was already a key box in the porch but we really diďn't think we would ever use it. It has however been a blessing since the beginning of the year when DH was so badly hurt in a car crash as it has been used by many carers and helpers.
Whilst in hospital DH arranged for 'care call' to be installed as he was concerned about me being at home alone and it has been a reassurance particularly since my balance is not good. You are supposed to press the button every other week to check all is working and if you forget they will phone and reminď you.
Going back to the daily 'check in' idea we have been so grateful to one particular friend who has called in every single day since that crash to ensure that all is well with us and to do anything he can to help. A friend in a million!

Sourcerer it's probably been very worthwhile you posting about your worry as so many good ideas have been put forward. I hope you manage to sort out something that will put your mind at rest.

I second Anya's post, it is obviously a subject that many worry about. I think the easiest one is the system that when, if your curtains are not opened by a certain time each day, you don't answer the door, help should be sought.

Actually, everybody dies alone, even if surrounded by a Victorian-style deathbed of friends and relations. As for pets, they will not go hungry if there is a body in the house.

How macabre!!
Not something pet owners want to think about.
All those cute cats and dogs will be seen through different eyes from now on.

Yes Absent and the pet part is also true - even if yuk!

Since following this thread I've put two cautionary measures into action. Since my husband, whom we all considered hale and hearty, died very unexpectedly of a heart attack I really should know better. However......now remedied. Thanks to all constructive contributors yet again.

One idea would be to group say 7 people who live alone into a category in your email contacts and send one message perhaps in morning or say at 6pm then if you don't send they call 999. You wouldn't need to be living close.
Just remember to tell folk if you're going to be away.
To meet people join the U3A. Everything from meals out, knitting to learning a foreign languages and lots of other groups.

Dying in your sleep is one thing. There's not much anyone can do about it. But dying after lying on a floor for 2 days is another. The only answer I can see is a Community alarm system (a pendant worn around the neck that can be pressed immediately and a response team phone you first, you don't have to get to the phone to speak to them as it goes on to a loud speaker system which is fitted at at the time of purchasing the service. If they do not get a reply they go round to the house speedily. I have experience of this working well. The service can be free to those in dire or vulnerable circumstances.

Have found this whole topic really interesting. I am 71, currently hale and hearty, and live on my own. I have a daughter who lives a few miles away and who usually emails me several times a day. She always worries if she phones and doesn't get an answer although it is very likely I am out or down the garden! I am a key holder for a couple of neighbours, and we tend to look out for each other in various ways. I have a cordless phone beside my bed as well as the main cordless one downstairs. I also have a mobile which occasionally I forget to charge! I try to take all sensible precautions for someone living on their own in order that my two children have confidence in me. I remember the concern my brothers and I had when our mother lived alone and I advised her to do the things for our peace of mind and which would give us confidence in her. I am now wondering if there is more I could do for other locals on their own - I may approach the local parish church which is a very good community church acting for the benefit of all.

Absent, you posted what I have been thinking!

W11girl that is the system that we now have, it is run by the local council and we pay a small quarterly fee. At the same time as putting in tbe 'care call' system they ensured everything in the house was safe right down to a carbon monoxide alarm being fitted because we now have a wooddburner. Nothing was too much trouble and they have been amazingly helpful.

Greengage I think neighbours watching out for each other is a really good idea. We moved nearly three years ago and are still working at getting to know our neighbours and that is taking quite a bit of work and is not as easy as I thought it was going to be. Either people are not as approachable as they were once or else it is just the fact that all our neighbours here are much older than we have ever had before. DH says "it is because we have moved to 'retiredsville' " and I suppose it could well be so. Anyone else found that to be the case for them too? On the other hand perhaps we are getting older too!

We also have phones strategically placed so that nowhere is too far from one. Unfortunately neither of our mobiles' reception is very good unless we are at the back of the house. I did have to use the 'care call' two days after we got it when DH fell and I couldn't lift him. They had to get an ambulance crew with a special 'lift' because of all his broken bones. It is truly amazing just what help is available when you need it - thankfully!

Synonymous To be fair, I have lived here for an age as have many of my neighbours. We don't live in each others pockets but we do try to be 'neighbourly' such as taking in parcels, and looking out for each others properties when anyone is away etc.

I have been looking back at the Three Rings device. Although the initial cost is high the monthly cost is less than one days, fifteen minute carer visit! It is probably not what everyone need early on but as we get older I think it could be really useful.

I don't think I'd be too worried for myself - I'd worry about any pets I might have, though.
What worries me a lot more is becoming either physically or mentally incapable, or both, and being a great worry and a burden to my children.
If I got to the stage where I thought it helpful, I'd have one of those pendant things which you press for help, but they're not much use with dementia, since the person will typically either hide it away, or forget what it's for or how to use it.

My mother used to have a pendant, which she rarely wore! One day on returning from visiting her, I found our entire conversation on my telephone answer machine! I have no idea how it happened, because as far as I was aware neither of us had touched it.

I live by myself and although most days I attend different groups, often I am unable to go, so none of them would be at all alarmed if I failed to turn up. Being unconscious is something that really worries me. So, I have an arrangement with my eldest daughter who lives pretty near. If she does not receive a message from me each morning saying 'OK', by 10.00 am. then she will come round. She has a key to my front door. However I also have a key safe in the porch so that if I did need to contact ambulance, etc. I could tell them the code and they could access my house easily.
Do think we need to make suitable arrangements and not just when we are old.