Inheritance

This has made me think of Lynda Bellingham the oxo advert actress , loose woman who left all her money and houses to her new husband Michael somebody or other ..came across as being mr lovely until she died and he was left with the lot and he had promised her he would look after her adult boys ...oh no ..once he got a hold of it he sold the property and booked lots of holidays and was soon bed hopping and living the nightlife and left her boys with none of it.

See a solicitor - she/he will be able to explain to you both how it is not an issue of trust (which is what is clearly upsetting your OH) but of complex legal issues, especially as not all your properties (how lucky are you!!!?) are in UK.

I'm not surprised you're worried. Why on earth don't you just go and see a solicitor and get some informed advice? Are you honestly going to take it from people you don't even know on the internet? I simply don't understand why you haven't had wills drawn up well before now.

The trouble is you have no idea what tomorrow may bring, what happens if one of you becomes mentally incapacitated for any reason, what happens if you both die at once? You will leave a complete nightmare for your children, neither of you want that. Both of you need to make a will.

You have a lot of assets and a complex estate so it is essential for both of you to get legal advice and make a will. Laws are different in France so that will also affect things. It seems reasonable to leave some of your assets direct to your children. What if you die soon and your husband lives another 20 or 30 years? You could tell your husband you would like your DC to have some of the estate sooner rather than later.

Definitely seek legal advice. You are in quite a complicated situation and a solicitor may point out things that you have missed. Sell the idea to your husband by saying that you want to be certain his wishes will be carried out.

I would see a solicitor asap - it's only sensible, and IMO your Dh is being quite unreasonable to be 'horrified'.

I have heard of more than one case where one partner trusted the other to do the right thing, only for the surviving partner to remarry quite soon and leave everything to the new spouse, and nothing to the former spouse's children.

In one case there was fairly early dementia thrown in, and although there was already a fair will in place, the new spouse was able to manipulate the other into making a new will, leaving everything to her.
The disinherited children could do nothing about it.

Please do it asap.

Perhaps, if you able to afford it, you could sign over the 2 BTL properties to your DC now. Looking at the number of properties you have between you, the inheritance tax will be massive. At least those 2 properties will be exempt from inheritance tax.

You might die together in a common accident.

He might lose his faculties before he made a will and your children would not do well under the Intestacy Rules.

He might meet someone else and his feelings might change.

I think all you can try to do is make it clear that you do trust him but you want your children to feel that it is a gift from you to them. Also, there is more change of one of you living a long time. If he lived into his hundreds your children may not inherit as young as you would want them to.

Wills cause a lot of arguments and that is hard to avoid but you are not being unreasonable.

Ask you DH what will happen to all your possessions if you should both die at the same time, for example, in a car accıdent. And then to imagine what will the argument and squabbling be like among the potential inheritors. Get legal advice and wills.

Lots of good advice. Seek legal advice in the UK and in France and make a will leaving your children provided for as you wish. Its a minefield and there is no guarantee that if you died before your DH that he would bother making a will leaving your children provided for - no knowing in that case where it would go. DH needs to take his head out of the sand and recognise that without a will he would be leaving a legal mess behind. No one knows what the future holds so don't put off seeing a solicitor.
A friend married again and left her estate to her new partner when she died (most of which was left to her by her late DH) and her children from her first marriage were left nothing when he later died - everything went to his children.

Make a will..No question. A lot could happen between now and your demise. You have to safeguard your children. I speak from experience.I know it sounds terrible but if you died now, in due course your DH could marry again, then she would be entitled to a share or all of your money, leaving out your children. I know that is worse case scenario and you may not be able to imagine it happening, but solicitors see this time and time again. You are being a fool to yourself and irresponsible if you don't make a will.

Obviously it is up to you and must be your decision but personally I would never leave it to the surviving spouse to do the right thing for your children. It isn't so long ago that Lynda Bellingham's darling boys were in the press berating her husband for this exact issue.

It's my belief, based on things I've seen happen, that everyone should make a will. Everyone!

Many people have the inaccurate and short-sighted opinion that your husband has. For a start, he can't guarantee that he will die first! Also, you have considerable property based in two countries where the inheritance laws are different.

You need a will!

Make a will. Both of you. Absolutely imperative that you do. Especially if you have properties in UK and France. I work for an accountant and Inheritance tax us a minefield as is all the other hoo ha that goes on if you die and leave property and other assets. Its not about trusting each other to do the right thing by various children etc. Its about safeguarding your assets for your family and insuring that the correct tax etc is paid after your death and probate can take ages if there is no will. French law is also quite complex. See a solicitor and get it sorted now.

I would explain to your DH that it is not him but the state (in both countries) that you don't trust.

Don't have any advise other than with all the will ( pardon the pun) in the world as much as you love and trust each other things can so easily go wrong after a death and it creates so much resentment along with the family that are also grieving for lost loved one. Most definately as there is so much property involved you must see a solicitor as others have mentioned it's not all as straight forward as you think. You don't want you DC to have to deal with this whilst grieving much easier if it's already set in stone.

Your husband has a brother!.
See a lawyer and sooner rather than later. If there's no will it can get complicated and expensive. People can and do change their minds.

Correct me if I am wrong but I thought in France you couldn't disinherit your children so wouldn't they automatically inherit your french properties?

newnanny . re will. Thinking???? Get your skates on and see a solicitor now.
One never knows ones fate.

Two words, well one name - Linda Bellingham. Take legal advice and sort out wills.

You have a lot of assets and a complex property portfolio see a solicitor - why on earth wouldn't you? A solicitor will be able to talk you through ways to reduce tax liabilities as well.

I would remind husband that taxes can be mitigated and it isn't all about inheritence, with government looking to recoup care costs it might be sensible to plan ahead.

I think the experience of Lynda Bellingham's sons must be fairly common. According to news reports her widower had been asked to see that her sons were "looked after". That really is open to interpretation, isn't it?!

My great-grandparents were well off and owned several properties. They didn't make wills, but had made it clear to their three sons and two daughters, who were all very close, that everything was to be divided fairly between them. Of course, when the day came the eldest son simply announced that he was having the lot, which under the law of the time was perfectly legal. The fact that nobody in the family spoke to him again obviously didn't matter a jot to him!

In the early 1970s my father and his sister and cousins each received a solicitor's letter saying that my great-uncle had died. When his estate was being sorted out it was discovered that he had never had the property legally transferred to his name. They were all invited to put in a claim on the estate. I don't think any of them did.

And the moral of the story is.....get your wills sorted out, for goodness' sake!!

I think you should make a will to leave your children specific things in your name which they can access straight away on your death - the buy to lets to provide an income which it sounds like your husband wouldn't need, possessions, cash etc. Your husband could remarry after your death, no matter what protestations he may make to the contrary now and then it could get complicated and your family may lose out.

You do not have to tell him you are making a will. If he dies first it sounds like everything would come to you anyway and your children would get equal shares of everything then eventually regardless of a will or not.