Constructive criticism?

I hope you feel better rubylady do you feel as if you've reached a crossroad in your life, that can be a bit scary, perhaps your son feels the same but his fear comes out as a bit aggressive. As for people being 'kind' I'm often a bit embarrassed that I come across as too 'kind' you know the sickly type. I'm honestly not like that at all and can stand my ground in real life if I must. I use GN for light relief really. So I keep off the really heavy threads. I'm just not 'up to it' anymore. In actual fact some people's comments make me laugh out load. I like a bit of wit, caustic humour and irony. A tread is like any conversation in any office or workplace everyone puts in their two Pennith and it moves and develops almost like Chinese whispers.

Hi Rubylady, I think that once your son is out on his own in the world he will have a good hard look at himself and see what a good mum he has.

Thinking of you today and tomorrow. Stay strong.

Thank you to you all, you are very kind. I am sorry for saying vile, I didn't mean on here, but in my private life, sorry.

No, Daphne I am not taking him, I have a man doing it for me. I couldn't, not with how I am. 9am Friday is when he goes.

I have just re done my food delivery. More soup. I need my stomach to settle. Thank goodness for the rain, that always calms me.

That's the plan Lona, to get stronger when he goes, and change the locks. How can I get strong when I hear that I am a bitch? How can I have self worth? If he was a partner I would throw him out lock stock and barrel, but a son? How am I supposed to be when he wants to come back to visit? He either changes his ways or he doesn't come back at all. But will he? I doubt it. I think he has eventually got me scared of him. I can't believe it has ended up like this.

Is it tomorrow, the big day? Safe driving if you are taking him after all although personally after his tantrum I'd be pointing him towards National Express

I hope you feel better soon.

Just caught up with this thread. Talk to someone when you can ruby, too much thinking time isn't always helpful. People are here for you. Not long now until Uni day. Wishing you peace.

Flowers from me too Ruby I hope you feel much better soon xx

Sorry you're having a hard time again ruby, hopefully you will get stronger when he's gone and then change the locks!

I hope you find some peace when your son finally leaves for uni. rubylady here are someuntil yours arrive on Friday.

No. Definitely not. TBH.

I'm sorry you are feeling down, rl, and hope that you feel very much better soon.

I don't think there are any 'vile' people on Gransnet forums.

Are you still taking him to uni, rubylady? Tell him to buck his ideas up or he'll be taking his stuff on the bus! Ungrateful so and so. I thought perhaps things had improved there, but am that they don't seem to have.

Life has given you a good kicking RL. I hope thing improve soon. Wishing you all the very best.?

I feel sick, was sick yesterday and am living on toast, soup and mashed potatoes. I will be ok, but there are going to be tears because I haven't been able to even grieve for my dad properly yet. My son expected me to be "over it" by the time of the funeral. Plus, with how ill I have been over the last few years and, particularly months, I have thought I might not make it to him leaving. My head gets this pressure in it, I have worried it could cause a stroke or have a heart attack. I'm going to sleep my way through the next couple of days (although up at 3 this morning). The rest of the time, bite my tongue and get through best I can. I have ordered myself some flowers for Friday, and some good food is on order too so time to start picking myself back up from then on.

jingle my doctor knows I feel like this, I am on anti depressants and he has put the dose up for now but he wouldn't do anything else. It will sort, just time.

Indiana Thank you, that is such a sweet thing to say and just what I needed to hear.

I wish I lived near you rubylady.

Sorry ruby to realise you are going down again . You have started to sound more positive a few times , getting your car and getting out a bit. You really need this break from your son to see your way more clearly. Good luck with the next few days, you are going to need it.

Someone to date you is probably the last thing you need right now. You've got to keep trying to be happy. I know it's hard. x

Have you told a doctor all this?

I am SO sorry. I posted that before I seen your sad post.

This could send you right back under the duvet

I asked him yesterday to move some things I had bought and he threw them around in the living room, shouting as he did so. He has put me down this week in my choice of music, the programmes I watch on tele, I'm too old for anyone to date me. I feel like shit. Total shit. He makes me feel like I should crawl in a hole and stay there. And at times these last few years I have thought about ending it all, but for the dog. It would end the pain. But I'm not going to do anything. Like I said, two days to go. I have no self worth, I am ill and my body is starting to come out in bad sores. I miss my dad. I have no one to talk to who knows me from my past. The abuse started at age 10 and has gone on by different people ever since, apart from my five year relationship with the younger man. That was the only time I have been happy since I was 10 years old. I want to change the locks and not have him come back, I want to heal. I just want kindness.

Cheer up for Chatham.

Have you never come across the phrase "Be careful what yo wish for because it might come true?"

'constructive criticism' wouldn't work on a site like this.

It seems clear from the final paragraph of her post that Margaret is just pointing out that Gransnet without any disagreement or argument would be bland indeed!

I'm going. I went to the cemetery yesterday to visit my brother who died at 12 hours old. I want to live my life with kindness, too much hatred and ill doing goes on in the world as it is. I have lived with abusive people all my life and I am two days from my abusive son leaving home. I want to be free of the pain it causes me. So I don't want it on here too. Maybe a bit namby pamby for some, but I am up to here with vile people having been in my life. I crave laughter, support, care. If it doesn't change on here, then I will just go and leave.

Yes. I know what you mean rl.

No. I don't understand what that comment meant. Perhaps Margaret would explain?