Patronising or what?

Time for me to quietly make an exit from this forum. I cannot understand why some folk get hot under the collar over such trivialities. Back to the kitchen. In need of a and some light-hearted conversation.

This issue has nothing to do with being PC and to say it is is to miss the point. It is about equality. If we continue to gloss over patronising comments, pretending that it doesn't really matter, then hell mend us when we find ourselves being consistently marginalised as old, no account, invisible duffers.

I hope you're not referring to me, soop I wasn't even slightly warm under the collar. Just mildly amused.

I am apparently oblivious to patronising comments. I just take many of the comments posters mention as simple pleasantries. If someone calls me "Darling" or Blesses me, I just take it as a pleasant remark, rarely intended to indicate a sense of superiority.

Me too, GandTea.

Ditto

Me too about endearments, but what jings spoke about was not that. It was plain rude.

Yes, I agree about that one. Very rude.

If I got my credit card out to pay for something and the person who was taking the payment carried on talking to someone else except to ask me if the card was mine, I would certainly be irritated enough, with a fine show of amateur dramatics, looking at it intensely, to say: "Well it's got my name on it" and if they continued to be rude I'd tell them they were being rude, if only to (hopefully) stop them doing it to someone else.

I might even complain to the manager.

There would be a temptation to say, "No, it is one I pinched".

When my parents used to visit relations back in England and pay for something with a Scottish banknote, my father used to tell the shop assistant who was scrutinising it closely, "It's Ok, it's a good one. Made it myself just yesterday". The rest of us would be waiting for that to backfire on him and a police car come screeching up..

We had a similar debit card experience this morning. I wanted a kitchen stool and the first kitchen place we saw was a very trendy one. We were dressed like the pair of country bumpkins that we are, but bought a very nice stool, husband paid with his card. Then the owner said he needed to verify his identity etc and took him into a dark booth.
I still don't understand why, but evidently husband is the person we all thought he was.
Maybe a new way of checking for fraud?

OOoo-er, Tricia

I think I may have already told this story on Gnet but a couple of years ago we met friends for lunch at a local pub. I was wearing a black and white top which has the same pattern inside as out. After the meal my friend and I nipped off to the loo while the men paid. As we were saying our goodbyes I saw the waitress pass a piece of paper to DH which he read and quickly put in his pocket.

When we got home he showed me the note she had written, 'I didn't want to say anything and embarrass you but did you know your wife has her top on inside out?' Apparently she had spotted the very small label at the back of my neck so must have thought I'd been let out of a home for the bewildered for the day.

I know I should have laughed but I wanted to go back and throttle the patronising little madam her. No wonder DH waited until I was safely out of harm's way before showing me.

Someone called me Darling in the supermarket this afternoon, good excuse to try for a date

My partner's daughter is in her 40s, while I'm 64. Last time she visited, (staying overnight with 2 children), I was working full time on a demanding contract. I came in from work, flopped in a chair and then we had a short conversation about my aching legs. She said "Aww, bless" and I suddenly felt I had aged 20 years. It's not the first time she has made the comment and I find it horribly patronising, but she genuinely doesn't mean it that way. It's just a thing she says without thinking, so I bite my tongue.

I will happily go along with the post from Grand Tea ,Thursday 12.30.

Over the last couple of weeks we have travelled a fair way around the North and Midlands.
So far I have been called :-
Darling
Pet
Chuck
Hen
Love
Sweetheart
Duck
Mate

plus a few that I cannot remeber or repeat.

I love it.

This is Amanda Holden we are talking about, we should make allowances for her lack of brains, and her abilities may have been further compromised by the amount of toxic chemicals and plastic currently incorporated into her body. In other words she doesn't know any better (Aw bless!)

Oh dear, I tend to address all men as "young man" no matter what their age, but that's simply because I have a terrible memory for names

Oh dear, I do think we live in a society which is prone to look for reasons to take offence. I cant imagine the presenter was aiming to be patronising. The show is a bit of fun, and I doubt that much thought went into it. The world is becoming so pc, that you cant speak for fear of offending someone along the way.

I suppose it's preferable to "what is that silly old git doing here"

Article in last week's New Scientist about a woman musician with advanced vascular dementia, aged 101. Very little memory in some areas - e.g. people, places. She can still play, on the piano, over 400 songs by memory and can still learn new ones by ear. "oh bless" would be an inadequate response I think.

I cant help thinking that people who take offence often, are not very happy people for whatever reason, probably quite genuine reasons.

I've just thought of a reply to "Oh, bless!" It is "Gesundheit!"

No problem for me, if anyone made an unexpected performance be it age unlikely background or just someone who didn't believe in their potential i d say a silent ah bless his /her heart however if someone cocky or arrogant or full of theirselves I probably wouldn't say it so I think it's about THEIR personality more than age background or abilities for me anyway