What's in a name?

When I'm in hospital, I ask to be called by my first name when coming round from an anaesthetic, but Mrs. gM any other time. I feel I have earned the right to be Mrs. now! I really get annoyed, but too polite to say so, when it is assumed that it is "friendly" to call me by my first name (without permission).

I had to call everyone older than me by their title and surname, so why shouldn't I be granted the same courtesy? I do get very fed up with the uninvited use of my first name - usually mispronounced as it is French...

"love", "hen" etc., are very English/British. In my French upbringing, though not in France, it was M. Mme or Melle + surname if appropriate... My parents were considered very odd in wanting most people to use their first names.

I agree with Nonnie that it depends who says it, and how they say it. I really don't mind the man who delivers our groceries calling me "love" - he isn't much younger than me, is very polite, and probably says the same to every female. But I'm afraid that some people use words like "dear" and "lovey"" to patronise older women and put them in their place.

I've made the decision to object politely when people speak to me like this if they are a) much younger than me or b) an authority figure. I just smile and say "Actually, would you mind not calling me dear? It makes me feel old." Most people are fine with this and understand. The only person who has taken exception to it so far was a young male health professional, who got quite shirty.

My DBH has always called me "beautiful" - He has always worn glasses.

I absolutely hate being called duck, love, and other such things.
If the people calling me it don't know me I see it as if they feel superior and it puts them somehow in control.If they do know me I think they can't be bothered to remember my name so I switch off to what they are saying.
Whenever I've been in hospital and they use such terms I find it really hard not to say something.one of these days I will, I'm getting crabbier as I get older!

Yes Poshpaws, I think cold callers using first names is disrespectful too. How dare they !!

I don't mind what people call me, but I remember my wee auntie being horrified by hospital staff using her first name!

What bothers me more is children calling adults by their first name. I remember one of my mother's friends telling me to call her Margaret, and my mother chastising me in public when she heard me doing so. " It's Mrs Brown to you, miss".
I was 16.

I was having a meal out with my late partner and this man kept saying alright guys so I stood up and pulled my jacket back and said do I look like a guy boy did he go red but didnt do it again

All this has brought to mind the story of Cherie Blair suggesting to Princess Anne that she might call her Cherie.

"Actually let's not go that way. Let's stick to Mrs Blair shall we?" said Anne, to the fury of Mrs B. who is an ardent republican apparently!

I quite like being addressed as 'pet', which is becoming less frequent round here. More often it's 'darl', which I don't like, especially when accompanied by an insincere 'Have a nice day' from an obviously bored rigid, mainly young person. Still, there's more important things to worry about and I'm almost certainly having a nicer day than they appear to be.

I have no great objection to being called love, pet, sweetheart etc in a private setting but definitely not in the workplace. A senior manager in my workplace calls all the male staff by their given names and most of the females are 'pet'...massive put down! I usually give him a tight lipped glower, but it makes little difference as he is very aware of what he is doing. Grrrr.

I am fortunate to live in France where everyone is addressed as " Madam or Monsieur" - plus the surname if they are known to you. Only in a close family situation would "cherie" be used.

The only thing that I feel a bit cross at is when people much younger than me call me 'dear'. Or even worse, 'dearie'. And I don't really like being called 'hun' either. Having said that, I'm from Yorkshire and I do call people 'love' which probably offends some people sometimes.

I admit to calling anyone whose name I've temporarily forgotten, "petal"...

It's "hun" I can't stand. Also when men call me "mate" I always associate that as a thing to say to a male though my DH hates being called "mate"

I don't mind being called by my Christian name by anyone. I do object though when people assume I'm a Mrs. and fill forms out accordingly. I have gone back to Miss, it's not hard to just ask for the correct title.

Oh, and I call everyone "love" now. As do most folk round here.

I was called "love" by a very young teacher the other day when I was on supply. I used to teach her when she was 7, nearly 20 years ago and I didn't really like her doing it. I just smiled though and was very professional.

Living in Scotland, but not being Scottish, I'm not too keen on being called "hen". I always feel like responding by clucking.

It all depends for me on the circumstance.

I prefer in hospitals to be asked if I want to be called Mrs or my first name, because let's face it in some hospital situations you want to cling to as much autonomy as possible. On the other hand, if you're going through a painful procedure where you almost break the bones in the nurse's hand you're gripping onto for grim death, being called by your first name is friendly and reassuring.

Recently I've found young shop assistants etc have taken to calling both me and my 72 year old husband "sweetheart" which I take as a sign that we now look like our physical ages even though we still feel in our 30's! However, I also think it's meant kindly so I quite like it.

My dentist has always used my first name, and it makes me feel he sees me as a person he likes rather than just another mouthful of teeth. Same with my usual GP, who's a gem - but the others in the practice must use my full name.

What REALLY sets my teeth on edge is when cold callers use my first name - they get short shrift, as I think that's downright disrespectful.

Also, my name sounds like the shortened version of another name and I actually take the time to complain in writing if I've given my name and am then referred to by the one the person THINKS I should be called. Grrrr.

The consultant I saw recently called me Mrs N which I found quite rude. I noticed when DH came to an appointment with me later on the consultant dropped his more familiar attitude and called me Mrs NotTooOld. Hmm.

It's just not something I can get too worked up about, so long as it's polite and preferably said with a smile, I really don't mind.

I have a hate/hate relationship with the dental hygienist! This isn't helped by being summoned to her room over the tannoy by my first name. It actually feels pretty insolent. The actual dentist is very nice and I've known her for 20 years but I call her Miss X. I don't call the hygienist anything I could say out loud!!

I quite liked being called by my first name when in hospital. And smeone in a local shop calls me "my lover", don`t think she`s from the west country though.

My mother's given name was Clarissa,it was never used. She was always known as Clarice which actually non of us liked. When she went into a residential home shle was always referred to as Clarissa which was on her details. She and us just loved it and it was very fashionable. She was called that for the next 7 years and now my GD has it as her 2nd name and we all really like it. Slightly off topic but relevant all the same.

My GP and my dentist call me Mrs H but my consultant calls me harri which seems a bit funny as I am nearly old enough to be his gran.

That was what my grandma used to say baubles.
'My lover' in Cornwall makes me smile, as does being referred to as 'guys'.