new neighbours do not seem to care

mollie65 Yes I would see how things go in the next couple of months,if anything similar happens just have a chat with them and ask them if they could help you do "such and such a thing" as you are not as young as you used to be and their help would be gratefully received,let them think they are doing you a favour it makes for good neighbours.(where there's a will there's a way)

Excellent mollie65....sounds as if you live in a similar area to us.....we just make sure we always look up and smile when we see our farmer neighbour....he's not that communicative beyond a wave and a smile...but if we get snow the old tractor makes a great snow clearing device.

just an update - in case any of you are still wondering how it panned out
didn't contact neighbours as I thought the farmer would probably do his bit (he is the 3rd participant in the farm track )
sure enough today he was out rolling his fields and when I walked (again with 'lurch' (the dog)) to the end of the track the tree was completely cleared (he and his tractor made it easy) - will thank him when I see him outside of his tractor.

I think you have to declare it now in the contract before they are exchanged.

A friend of mine has just moved house because of problem neighbours and she was riven with guilt that the new buyers would have similar trouble, but so desperate that she had to live with the guilt. A very difficult situation.

Never ever, leave a note for neighbours to read!If you have a problem, go to their door and ask them to help when they have time.

Its all about keeping the lines of communication open and on a bright and breezy level - I've learned that if I'm feeling put upon I sort of radiate that and go around looking glum (which to the outside world looks just plain cross). I just have to remember to straighten up, look a bit more cheerful and put on a bit of a chirpier voice.

I do speak from experience. We were ready to complete on a property when the vendors came clean and told us that relationship between them and neighbours was on a 'solicitors letter' only footing.

OH and I took a collective deep breath and phoned up our soon-to-be new neighbours for a bit of a chat. Long story short...the two chaps had fallen out and the wives were both tearing their hair out. We came in with no preconceptions (and a lot of smiles)....sorted out the main problem (a new fence) and everything was hunkey dory. We were soon firm friends with new neighbours and still keep in touch even after eventually moving on.

I have really good neighbours and I do worry that they will move out and new not so nice neighbours will move in..but I think its about saying what you need to say in the nicest possible way

thank you for all your wise words
I have let things lie for the moment and see how their behaviour goes over the summer - least said soonest mended
I think I may have been a bit because my old neighbours would have shouldered a saw and probably been out there getting stuck in before I even knew there was a problem.
I still feel it is a bit of a generational problem and they are in their 'bubble' and not realise that there are others in the world who may find things a bit difficult - and I do hate having to play the 'old' card even to family

I agree don't start a range war - invite them in for coffee and cake and casually bring the subject up. you may have to live together for many years to come. Hope it works out OK its good to have good neighbours.

I would try HildaW's approach first too, smile sweetly and ask for some help - 'Could you get your strong wrist around that' was my MIL's usual way of asking

Good luck, and to you Galen

We were informed that our new neighbours would prove to be the 'neighbours from hell' but so far they have been lovely. So far, so good!

I agree, ask for help with a specific job, not necessarily to be done on the spot but when they have the time as you are aware that they work. There was a time of course when you could do it all, but not any longer, the years have crept up on you, putting on the old lady guise. They must realise that you are not in the first flush of youth. Good luck.

OH blimey - neighbour trouble is so stressful.

Once, when a SW, we really truly did have the family from hell on our books. I cannot tell you what they did, for obvious reasons, but even if I did you would simply not believe me. Not only was I trying to deal with the family's problems, but I had many representations from the neighbours, particularly those adjoining, who were in danger of their house going up in smoke. There was a convicted arsonist and chain-smoking man using oxygen next door! I felt so sorry for these neighbours, as it was a pleasant neighbourhood where a family had left their home in the hands of letting agents while they were posted abroad. The agents made a bit of a boob in their vetting procedures.

I think that hilda has suggested a good solution to your problem mollie. And galen I hope that the new neighbours finish their work soon! It is always a shame when you have life settled and new neighbours disrupt the smooth running of life.

I was thinking similar things to what hilda's post starts with: if they've only been there two months perhaps they haven't unpacked their tools yet, especially as it has been winter. They might not even have a suitable saw.

Next time something needs doing, just go round when they're in and ask tem to give you a hand because you find it all a bit much nowadays, being sixty-eight and all

We have new neighbours who apparently were known as the neighbours from hell where they previously lived.
They have bought a bungalow and done a lot of structural alterations ( without planning permission) and plan to build an extension.
The work they've done resulted in a large pile of rubble which blocked the pavement and part of the road. This remained for several weeks until one of my neighbours complained to the council. Following that they were told to remove it which they did, but left the gutter full of rubble. After a month of this unsightly mess and everyone moaning about it, I got Gary the Great to sweep it all up and next door took it to the tip. While Gary was doing it the owner came out and complained to Gary asking him who'd organised him to do it and it was a waste of time as there was more work to be done!
I feel we may have trouble ahead!

Hilda, I love your diplomatic response!

Two months duration in a new place is really not that long to fully get to grips with the 'lie of the land'....all those unspoken 'who does what's unless you have actually had some sort of discussion. It just might not have dawned on them that its a shared responsibility. They might be a bit trepidatious about jumping in and doing stuff. Its very easy to worry about not giving offense by holding back.....and then actually giving offense.

I'd be inclined to play the 'old lady' card and come over all delicate and girly and actually ask for a bit of specific help. As you get to know each other you can then have a discussion about how things have gone on in the past....and will you mind helping me out in the future.

Learning the ins and outs of any new home can take a long time and its going to be no skin off your nose to give them the benefit of the doubt for a bit....a sort of new owners honeymoon.

It gets to them after a while.

People I know move out of properties with shared tracks.

Do they know that it is a shared driveway and that you are jointly responsible for it, or do they think that "the council" will come along and fix everything? If they are new to rural living, they may still be in town mode, where roads are for using and someone else does the maintenance and clearing?

I think your idea of phoning to say you have trimmed it back but could they do the heavy stuff is excellent, not condemning them for not doing anything but sharing the work with them.

mishap they have no family at home - she works part time and he is self-employed - it is not a driveway as such - just a farm track which soon becomes blocked with snow, pot-holed at the drop of a hat
it is not the first instance of their 'can't be bothered to be considerate' behaviour on their part and they know I live alone and am 'elderly' and I know my previous neighbour would have done (being of a certain age) exactly what I did
in fact they should check in on me and say thankyou for the effort I have put in - if they are so busy.

Yes - definitely hang fire. Nothing worse than getting off on the wrong foot with neighbours, especially of you share a driveway. If they are a working family it may be that they were hoping to do it, but were up to eyes in children and work commitments - best to give them the benefit of the doubt at this stage I think. Discretion and valour and all that.

thank you all - glad I asked opinion as I was tempted to let it ride in the interest of not creating bad feeling.
Mr neighbour is a 'roofer' so should have access to more muscle than I possess
think I will phone them if I do not see them before and mention I have 'trimmed' tree but it really needs moving off the track totally and I am not able to move it. no accusations just a gentle reminder.
'lurch' does have a proper name but he is a bit of a loon and a shaggy lurcher so I have been known to call him 'lurch'.

Unless it is really getting to you Mollie I would hold fire on complaining. One of my neighbours has done just that about "them next door" who have four cars always parking outside her house, and of course she has no legal right as the highway is public. However she has and it has caused hassle and she now hates going through her front door in case they are about and it is ,at the present, making her very uncomfortable and unhappy.

Also, they may not be practical people and prefer to pay someone to do the work for them, if they do, are you up for 1/2 the cost.