'Expected' to contribute to DGS Christening

Perhaps son is mindful of OP 'being on a fixed income' and no one else from his side of the family is invited.

Actually I would like to know how they plan to hire a marquee, catererers and provide drinks for 100 people for around £1700? Sounds like a bargain to me or are they just getting iceland sausage rolls? When you deduct the cost of the marquee hire with associated chairs, tables, glasses, then it doesn't leave very much in the budget for food and drink for 100 people.

So perhaps that's why she's asking...couldn't work out the sums?

petallus said "I too wondered if the DIL wanted to ensure the OP felt involved.

Since the other grandparents are contributing I wonder why the son doesn't want his parents to!"

In my view being asked to pay towards something that has already been arranged is not 'being involved'.

Being asked beforehand if you would like to pay something and / or if you have any ideas of what sort of day to have, could be 'being involved.
So could being asked if you would like to invite any of your relatives or friends.

Just being asked to stump up - no.

I too wondered where DIL arrived at £1700. Going on her past financial history (shall we say), it's likely to be a lot more. And then there's 'plus VAT' which will add another 20%.
Our DS doesn't want us to pay anything because we are retired and, although not badly off, everything has to be budgeted for. He has a very good income and in the circumstances doesn't think it appropriate that we contribute. DIL has other ideas, apparently. Her parents are very well off (through inheritance) so maybe she just doesn't understand.
I hope I haven't trodden on anyone's toes here....

I have never heard of anyone having a christening or a naming ceremony on this scale. marquee? 100 guests? Good grief!

I always think of christenings/naming ceremonies as being family affairs for immediate family and godparents. Both my DGC were baptised. In each case as part of the Sunday morning service and in one case with other children.

Afterwards we went home and whoever's home it was provided a buffet lunch. The number coming back in both cases was less than 20. I catered for the lunch when DGD was baptised in our own village and we probably provided the wine when DS & DDiL had a christening at their church. We would have volunteered the wine, they would not have asked us to.

louisamay, a simple question. Do you actually want to go to this event? If you don't, can you find a really good reason for not going? It could just be last minute ill health.

AS for paying towards it. Discuss this directly with your son, it is then up to him to talk to his wife.

It also occurred to me that louisamay might prefer not to attend her Grandchild 's christening.

However, in spite of doubts expressed on this thread the event could turn out to be a positive and joyous celebration.

I certainly hope so.

We're all on your side louisamay
As I posted earlier it does make me think she's suddenly realised the £1700 is on the low side....
Still a flippin' cheek though, so say 'no can do'!
Reminds me of very 'posh' wedding I declined to attend where wedding list was at Harvey Nicks, nothing costing less than £100 (for a pair if egg cups!).

I can only agree with everyone else. A christening party for 100 has nothing to do with the child at all - and who has 100 real friends to invite to something like this? To be honest, if the family are non churchgoers I'm quite suprised that a vicar has agreed to conduct the christening.

Just for the record, it's good manners to give a wedding present once you have received an invitation, even if you are unable to attend. It doesn't have to be off "the list".

Pleased to hear it has finally been settled now louisamay Hopefully you can relax now and enjoy your DGC's christening.

Yes Deeda I'm always surprised at vicars who agree to baptise babies when the parents are clearly only doing it for show and have no intention of becoming part of the regular congregation. The Catholic church would want a commitment to bring the baby up in the faith and the parents would be expected to attend church regularly. It's simple really if you don't want to practice don't go through with the charade of a Christening.

Possibly churlish, but I wouldn't want to go to the party afterwards anyway louisamay, possibly I'd go to the actual Christening then go home, after all that's it, the point of the day, but glad you have sorted it out.

Tell her to get lost. If she wants a big family party then let her pay for it. A Christening only needs one person, the baby and some water. It doesn't even have to be done by a priest. The person only has to have the right intention.

Vampirequen
I would very much like to tell my DIL to get lost! But, as they say, discretion is the better part of valour. She is incredibly difficult to handle and I don't want to put visiting our DGS in jeopardy. However, I can assure everyone she will not be getting any more contributions from us in the future! If she wants something, she can pay for it!!

Holy water, surely otherwise it means nothing.

Zipped lips, louisamay and a big smile.
A zipped purse as well if that's what you choose to do!

It's the baby who matters and you want to stay on good terms with them for your DGC's sake (and yours). Go and enjoy it and plaster on that smile.

Any water will do, rosequartz. In baptism it's the intention that's important.

never has a thread had such a unanimous response- I have to say.

I thought the water used for baptism had to be blessed by a priest

Perhaps things have changed.

I expect it depends on the denomination. Surely a Catholic priest would say it had to be holy water?

Although he'd just bless it himself and it would become 'holy' instantaneously!

I thought a C of E vicar would bless it first as well.

When a friend's grown-up daughter was baptised (Baptist church as far as I remember) she was immersed fully - they had a large pool in a rather small church! We were astonished, expecting her to receive the sign of the cross on her forehead, not a complete dunking!

Yes, I suppose they can all turn water holy, I was just thinking out loud.

I can't see that I could baptise someone with tap water if I felt like it as I have not been ordained and have no authority to do so - except in an emergency.

Have you got authority to do it in an emergency, rose?

Anyone can, I think!

I would hope no such emergency would ever arise as I can't remember the order of service