Do I trust him?

Perhaps he is just interested in family history per se, not present-day people. However, if you know his history with his immediate family is a bit suspect then be careful.

I had a second cousin I had never heard of contact me, I gave him my address and he tracked down my phone number too. He offered to send me lots of family history and some of it was very interesting, but most of it was present-day stuff. He did say he had tracked down some other second cousins on his other side and had called in on them and enjoyed visiting ...... He has not arrived yet!

Then again, another second cousin of DH contacted us and visited last year when she was over from Canada and we enjoyed her visit very much.

Yes, but not usually when you haven't seen them for a very long time.

There is a possibility that he might be ill?

True NanKate, hadn't thought of that.

The info he is sending are photos, listings from the 1911 Census, names of people to add to my family tree. He doesn't seem that interested in my present day family life just info from the past. I suspect he is rather self absorbed.

Have you not met people who only want to talk about themselves and their interests, but not yours ?

I will keep you posted.

Seems distinctly weird to me that he's evading answering any of your questions, something isn't quite adding up.

I find it curious that although he feeds you with interesting information about the history of your family he doesn't respond to any of the information you give him. Is the information he gives you true and verifiable?

It strikes me that he is leading you on, and at some point it will gradually become clear what it is he is hoping to get from you. People like this generally make contact out of the blue with distant relatives and old friends because they hope to exploit them.

Thanks HidaW I will be very wary. No meet ups, no phone calls.

He has all the hallmarks of a manipulator....knows what buttons to push to keep you interested and is just candid enough to make you doubt what your gut in telling you! Listen and take note of what he says if you must.....but do not reciprocate in any way.

This is kindly meant but my father was such a person and we all learnt the hard way.

Thanks for your concern folks.

I do agree he is lonely and seems pleased to have found a member of the family to swap information with.

However I am keeping my distance and being careful what I say.

Nankate I feel uncomfortable re. the part in your OP were you describe his unsettling behaviour. My paranoid warning bells are ringing in that he could transfer this to you.

I think you are doing the right thing.

He sounds a bit lonely to me.

I agree with vq. I trust people unless I have good reason not to, and from what you've said nankate he hasn't done anything in the past which directly affects you, nor is he asking for anything which might disadvantage you.

Keep your guard up but who know's maybe the years have changed him and he misses being part of a family. Maybe he's lonely.

Just don't let him too close. Keep it to an email relationship until you are certain one way or the other.

Thanks Moonbeams and others. To update you I have received a number of emails from my cousin who has given me stacks of Family History info which has been fascinating.

My Aunt is still with us so he gives me regular updates.

I am not letting my guard down, but am enjoying hearing these family stories.

Hi Nankate, I think that I would be very wary of him. Just watch from a distance if you can. Warning bells are going off about this situation.

Contacted not contracted.

No I am not an Executor.

I suspect he contracted me as so few of his relatives will speak to him.

He was 8 last time we met and is now 57 to my 68.

Yes he does have a sibling and I asked about him but got no reply.

If my Aunt (Uncle already dead) does have any money to leave it will go to her grandchildren, but as she has been in a Home for about 5 years I suspect no money will be left.

Once the funeral is over, which I won't be attending as it is too far away, I will drop any communication as I feel uneasy.

Are you named as the executor of her will?

50 years without contact is a very, very long time, Mishap's point about inheritance may be very pertinent.

Very tricky! Perhaps he is feeling nostalgic or perhaps he has other motives.
However, it sounds as if he has kept in touch with his parents despite previous difficulties. Does he have siblings you could contact?

Delving into family history is so interesting but sometimes it can open a can of worms!

This information was all in an email. I was surprised about the properties but when he mentioned a particularly dodgy job he had once had, I suspect that's where the money comes from.

I am keeping my emails between us just to the topics of his Mum, Family History and also keeping them brief.

I am split between wanting to know about all this fascinating info about my Mum's family 100 years ago and keeping him at arm's length. Tricky one this.

I don't mean to be picky, but have you thought why he mentioned the properties he owns? Of course, it may just have been within the conversation you were having, and there may just be a chance he was trying to show you how well he had done for himself (also, it may not be true....)

I would be very wary. Even if there is no alterior motive, you probably would have little in common apart from memories of unpleasant things. x