Why do I have such a DIL?

jinglbellsfrocks-thank you for at least believing me. I guess it is something no one wants to hear. I thought I could just call and report it and things would change, well it didn't and around here, the law actually gives the abused kids back to the parents and you know what happens. The kids generally get it worse than before. I want to do it the right way, so my gs won't have to keep enduring anything.
I have reported, I have a report number, I have his teacher watching him for signs. I can not make police arrest someone just because I want them. Could anyone on here?

I think you are in the USA msmac. We don't have "school boards" in the UK. It's difficult to make any further suggestions as we don't know the American systems but it's equally difficult to believe that there are no agencies there who would advise you. One thing for certain is that this little boy needs help urgently.

My post did not assume that it was not genuine - I am ready to believe msmac. But I do not think that she can leave this as it is. There must be on the US an equivalent organisation to the one that in the Uk is called the National Society for the Protection of Children. No civilised country would allow its children to be treated like this.

I assumed that you were in the UK, mrsmac, sorry.

The NSPCC is a British charity - the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. I don't know if you have the equivalent in the US.

I will say that DGD has lost two of her teeth already at the age of 5, which is quite young (and they are cleaned and she goes to the dentist regularly, so not through decay), and some of her schoolfriends seem to have lost theirs too. Are you sure they were not hanging on and they pulled them out in case he swallowed them?

If not, I really think that this needs to be reported to the authorities; if you feel unable to do so then perhaps you could enlist the help of his kindergarten teacher and/or his doctor.

'Pappy' is presumably your son; I am sorry that you may have to be in this position but this little boy is the one who needs your help by the sounds of it. Hitting a little child to 'turn him into a man' is abuse. It may happen, but it is not right and the authorities should be investigating.

Here is a list of Child Protection Services in the US, state by state. Find your state in this list and report this direct to the CPS. Bypass the police if they think that abusive oparents should not be stopped.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/rl_dsp.cfm?rs_id=5&rate_chno=11-11172

Again apologies, mrsmac. I have read your post properly (didn't read it properly the first time because it was upsetting).

I now realise that 'pappy' is your DIL's father; it sounds as if she comes from an abusive background and the abuse is being carried on by her father on his grandson.

This child must be helped and I hope this happens asap.

Good luck, don't give up.

msmac, the fact that his teachers are looking out for signs is comforting. Teachers see them every day.

I feel for you.

Julie - don't you think it is a bit unrealistic to expect us to watch our every word on here? These are normal conversations between normal people.

I think this is a genuine cry for help, but at one time I did think it could be someone posting to get a reaction, as there are some very strange people out there.

Normal conversations between normal people - how can we be sure?

Apologies again, mrsmac, for doubting you.

Is everyone reporting anything they think might possibly be a bit dodgy to GNHQ now? I don't really think that's the way to go, either...

Well I'm normal.

Believe it or not.

Perhaps people were reporting it because they were worried about the child.

I believe you, jings, but am I?
I do sometimes wonder.

I didn't report it, as I thought advising in a post was the way to do it.
Not sure of the protocol.

I am worried about this child though, poor little chap.

OP did say she was in a remote rural area of the US. Wel done elegran for the child rotection link I hope OP finds it useful. This situation is horrifying , a clear case of abuse not to say cruelty and I hope this little boy will enjoy a better life soon. (" Pappy" seems to me to be DIL's stepfather am I right?)

What is "normal"?

In a normal conversation face to face with a stranger who told us that their grandchild was being abused, we would ask whether it had been reported. If we were then told that the grandmother feared that if the mother knew that it had been reported, she would face having her grandchild kept from her, we would tell that grandmother in no uncertain terms that the priority is the child.

We might also be doubtful about the whole thing, if we had discovered before that some people had found that we could be wound up. Windups have happened on the forum. Some people even claim that they were "just winding you up" when they have posted something that made others angry. In a real conversation, there are times when the only reply is "Pull the other leg!"

Are you still there msmac?

Soutra You are on the right track certainly not UK and I do think we are being played here somewhat and if we are not then a little man is in serious trouble and his nanna should have authorities involved straight away.

I was just reflecting that is about an hour since msmac last posted. Perhaps she is on the phone to her state Child Protection Srvice.

Disturbing.

Apologies for any suggestion this may be a windup now more information available,as I am typing the page is changing so quickly with more details,I did think earlier on this could be US and in the more rural of areas.

How awful. I hope so much that this really isn't true.

I think there's a time difference of 7 hours between UK and USA - can't remember if they're in front or behind us.