Cut out of their lives 3

Marelli, all we can wish for our children is health and happiness and you're right, life does go on and it is not fair on the other siblings to dwell on the past. It is especially hard on Mothers Day but if a son or daughter chose not be a part of the family then I feel it is they who will lose out in the long run when it is too late to do anything about it. To all Mothers ( Fathers) out there who are experiencing the pain of losing a child for whatever the reason keep the good memories close and don't let the bad ones influence your lives. xx

Oh Dollie your poem! Oh dear It's really hit my heart, I want to print it and send it to my D, I will. I am slowly getting drunk on baileys, that was in the cupboard unopened for next Xmas. I went in the cupboard to get the photo album of my D wedding, it's been playing on my mind, the lovely photo of my GD Laila, with his mother, such a lovely photo, but I need to cut her off! Strange it's not there, I have looked everywhere for it, I would never have thrown my Laila away, I was going to cut her out and save Laila, but it's gone, so strange!!! Looking through the album, there is not one photo of me holding my Laila or Jack, all of his mother and father, even though they are not my Laila's grandparents, so why is that?
I wish You better Dollie Thank you for the poem
I had a lovely lunch with my ND, by the river, watching the swans. lots of little children, all looking a bit like my Laila and jack, all coming over to say 'hello' and stroke my little dog, heart warming, but not my Laila & Jack
Never one bad word between me and my D, so why has she done this, the most cruel of things to do to her mother, her children's grandmother, one and a half years! My ND let slip, that when this first began, I was suicidal, and my D said to my ND " hope she hurrys up and kills herself"
That's when my ND was cut out, as they could see she was not having any of it, also my ND was inviting my D to go away for the w/e, to try and lift the fog from her brain, ND thinks nasty s.i.l twigged, so therefore she was cut out as well!
I got a lovely big bouquet of flowers in a box with ribbons and butterflys from my ND . Nothing of course from my D&S
So sorry granscotland my heart goes out to you
Marelli keep strong.
Celebgran hope you're ok today, thinking of you, especially today xx
Smileless xx
Hope you have all had a good but no doubt bitter sweet 'Mothers Day'
With Love and maybe some and perhaps some more

Sorry Ashmore for you too xx

Hope everyone has survived and had as good a day as possible,my daughter visited work this afternoon with flowers. One of the patients 6 month granddaughters visited with their mum. The weather wasn't too bad, my patients were all in fine form and for a day at work it wasn't bad, son forgave me for working and dinner cooked when I got home. Not my most memorable but it seems better than most.
Walked out of work at 8pm to still see blue sky on the horizon...summer and long summer evenings are on their way. Looks like wishing my life away is the way to go....get past June and October, Clocks change then it's Christmas New Year....before I know it it will be 2020.... Then the waiting begins...

raising a glass to you all. Keep strong.

What a long day. Have spent it with phone close by, waiting and hoping for the miracle of a phone call, or a text from one of my daughters. Nothing. No cards either, so weary of this

boheminan

Keep hoping boheminan.You never know what tomorrow may bring.

I too had no contact with my kids on Mother's Day it was just another day for
me ....no i didnt sit around and dwell or hope for a phone call ive done all that and refuse to do it anymore...the kids know where i am the balls in their court....the kids arent suffering so why should we give them the pleasure of knowing that they are hurting us!!!

dollie. You're right. After the nightmare of yesterday something shifted in my head - my girls are happy without me, so I am going to try and let go…it's not going to be easy, they'll always be a huge part of my life, in it or out of it. I don't like them but will always love them

Many thanks to everyone who posted on this thread, the good wishes meant so much and it did help knowing there were other people in the same boat as me, for so long I thought it was just me but after reading through this thread I realised how wrong I was to even think l that. Take heart Dollie and Boheminan you are not alone, there are other people who think and care for you and after all, isn't that what matters in life? I'm glad yesterday is over and once again thank you to everyone here, if ever I feel down I will return to this thread for support and comfort. Take care.

Afternoon ladies a for all who had a good day yesterday. Your time spent with your ND sounds wonderful Yogagirl and how lovely to have got too.

The poem is lovely Dollie especially the last verse. Do I like my s?, no; have I forgiven him? he hasn' t asked me; do I love him? always. It's simply brilliant thank you for posting it.

Hope you had a lovely weekend away Celebgran and a lovely Mothers Day with your son.

Well I've decided to start a new trend, as well as having TGIF I'm going for TGIN... for eg. TGINMD, TGINE, TGINFD,TGINMB, TGINC. You see, I woke up this morning and the first thought I had was 'thank goodness it's not Mothers Day'. Not just bec. I didn't get a card; it isn't MD in Oz until May. Will I get one in May? as much as I love my lovely boy and can't wait to see him next week, going on his track record it doesn't seem likely. Not just bec. I didn't get one from my other s, although I was stupid enough to think I just might.

No, the main reason I'm thinking TGINMD is bec. I foolishly thought that although I wouldn't have a good day I could give a good day to my own mother. As you know she recently had a very bad fall and never goes out any where bec. of mental health problems. So I invited her and my bro to lunch, well we didn't eat until 2.30 as I was running late. I'd got behind and hadn't written her card but of course I was going to write it and give it her before she left. I cooked roast chicken with all the trimmings inc. home made bread sauce and I made her favorite for puddding - sherry trifle.

The 4 of us sat down and enjoyed our chicken, mum said she wanted to sit in the living room when she'd finished which was fine. I said she could eat her trifle in there if she'd be more comfortable. Then he turned on me, my bro. Yes, the brother whose house myself and my hubby spent all of those hours cleaning and re decorating . "Where's her card, where are her flowers" .

How silly and selfish of me to have thought that cooking her lunch would be a nice mothers day gift . How thoughtless not to have had the written card ready on her arrival, only being prepared to ensure she had it when she left, to take home and put along side the card she'd received from my brother. What a terrible daughter and sister I am to have them both here on Mothers Day, and to make sure she gets a card from me so things are as they should be 1 mother plus 2 children=2 mothers day cards where as for me 1 mother plus 2 children=0 mothers day cards.

How did this wonderful mothers day lunch end? With me yelling at my brother for being told I never see her, never do anything to help, only saw her 5 times last year and my poor mum in tears, refusing to stay and have the rest of the meal so lovingly prepared for her.

Thanks to all who sent it was lovely to come on here this afternoon and see so many. Oh and the didn't need much to get through yesterday's dinner, but it certainly came in useful when trying to deal with the aftermath .

So hopefully that explains why for me it's a TGINMD day.

Sorry our posts crossed granscotland but good to know you've found this thread comforting and supportive. Don't be a stranger you can come on any time to share good times and bad; even have a long self pitying rant like mine .

Sorry ladies, but I feel soooo much better now

Oh smileless you poor lady made all that effort only to be spoken to like that I know your brother has problems!you said but even so, surely he realised the work and effort. Cooking lovely lunch like that entailed!

How long now to oz?

Oh I was soooo happy saurday seeing my lovely son and getting lots big hugs! Great see Anina his partner and stepsons too of course. We walked into next village keep boys busy and,my dear husband treated them to a pub Lunch,was not keen o. Food,had already had.cooked breakfast and we Both had funny tummies next day oh dear ! Steve's card made me cry it was quite simple but he hadn't written in it to my lovely mum! I was emotional and afraid cried when had waved him off! Trouble is probably won't see him for couple months he is abroad again work and our holidays!

Sorry being selfish I was lucky enough to be spoilt by one child. Is my 6th one without Victoria and the 2nd one been away and not cried for her, does not mean my heart Not still broken guess time helps. I cried buckets over last 5 years but she made her choice and all the effort on my part to try heal rift has been in vain, so I have to try and accept that's how it is.

Well done anyway for trying smileless and glad yogagirl enjoyed time with nice d sorry had been hard for others.
Marelli you are very wise

Silly billy Celebgran ; you're not being at all selfish. It was lovely to read about the great day you had with Steve, his partner and her children. I hope the next couple of months until you see him again pass quickly.

Only 5 days now until we set off for Oz and 6 days until we arrive and I can have that long awaited hug with my boy .

It's been a fab day here today . Just the weather for getting the garden ready for the summer. We've had a tidy up but can't do any more until we get back from our hols.

Hope you've all had a nice day and being able to enjoy the lovely spring weather.

Oh smileless gosh it come round so quickly!
A hug from a loving son is priceless! You must be beyond excitedly

It has been gorgeous here today In sunny frinton. My tum still not right but went acquacise. Then after little break in between pegging lots washing from weekend I cut grass! The washed kitchen. Floor creaky knees smileless!
Then hoovered round and prepared yummy tea, steak toad in hole roasties and fresh veg, mmmmm.

Proud I managed to do so much!

Relaxing bath now I think! Chill I. Front of tv.

Yogagirl marelli Dollie (very moving poem) as well as smileless of course and ashmore sorry think got name wrong also libra chick in fact anyone who struggled with Mother's Day and hope managed enjoy lovely sunshine today.

Hello Girls
I'll start with my news, couldn't get on here this morning
I was invited next door for champagne, as it was my neighbours b/day, 10yr old champagne at that (you'd have thought she'd get a new bottle
Anyway, I started chatting to a couple my age, their D had just left her abusive H, same set-up as the family my D is in, where the H mother is the boss,the H would take their C for the w/e to his mum's, without her and Xmas and celebrations the D was left sitting in the corner, being excluded from his family circle, and so it went on till she had had enough and left, and moved down here to be near her M&D. But, his brother's wife had her children taken from her and was kept by the m.i.l and H, (this is what happened to my D, briefly) and the poor girl killed herself!
BohemianDollie & gransscotland yes we are all in the same sad boat, my heart goes out to you all
Smileless you are quite obviously a good D to your mum, so don't let your brother upset you, its hard when someone has a 'go' at you isn't it, as it's on top of your already pain filled heart Not long till your big huggs and kisses from your DS in Oz How awful, that we on here have to say TGINMD
Sounds like you had a lovely MD with your DS Celebgran, I treasure the cards too, they mean a lot don't they. Well you have been very brave this year, not crying for Victoria & your DGD , it's so hard to be brave though isn't it, I had such a vivid dream, about seeing my D and my little Laila, I looked into her little sweet face and said "do you remember me?" and she said "yes" and I got a hugg & kiss as I used to
Sorry can't go back a page to read other posts again or I'll loss this , so Librachick Marelli & Ashmore and all

Hi all yogagirl hope you enjoyed that champagne, gosh how very tragic,
That poor girl.
I feel like I never really knew Victoria would give world to see her again though. Getting quite nervous already about husband visit with her godmother on 14th stupid really.

Was Tuesday when husband went work but managed work it off.
However went to club meeting friendships club my good friend runs and rude old bad said to me when I tried to get word In from her complaints mentioned my knee painful she said well yumarengetting very overweight! I accept do need to lose bit but am hardly massive and really felt upset she could be so rude! Dwelt on it a bit! The speaker was a doctor who practises locally he was very interesting.

My tum still playing me up must try relax a bit.

On bright note one of my case studies has booked massage for Tom afternoon long time since done one so practice tonight on husband!

Smileless hope packing well under way.
Hope rest of you all have good day. Off to hairdresser at 12 so bit of Irish upstairs in Beauty room first!

Morning Girls
Celebgran how rude of that person to say that to you, don't sit near them next time you go to that club Hope something good happens on the 14th, I think the same about my Jenni re not really knowing her You could have practiced your massage technic on me, I love a massage . Hope your tums better and your hair looks good.
Ashmore did you see that programme on channel 4 last night, on adoption? It was very sad Have you had any good news on your DGD?

Well an evening of mindless oblivion, going to the Royal Albert Hall for a tribute to Jon Lord, ex keyboard with Deep Purple. Joe Brown will be there and he will no doubt sing his usual remembrance rendition, as he did for my gorgeous George H! Really wished I got tickets for that....I'll see you in my dreams, make me think of my Dad. I will be singing it for my granddaughter with a slightly different meaning. Lost but not forgotten........gone, but hopefully not forever.

Onward and upward, best foot forward, baby steps etc etc etc

(((((Hugs)))))) to everyone post Mothers day. Just wish it was the only date to remember .....

[Yogagirl] no I didn't, will have to look up on catch up. Thank you.

I have to come to terms with her being gone, but until the final court case, unrelated to the family stuff and still waiting for the useless SS to get back to me with plans for the letterbox and meeting with the new mother which was going to be asked for, even if only for support for my son, it is going to be difficult. The serious case review at the hospital that will be published may be the catalyst for my future progress.

Evening ladies. Just sat down and discovered that '3 Men and a Baby' is coming on (film 4 + 1) Lovely Tom Selleck, a lovely baby what more could a girl want!! Oh I know a hubby who isn't constantly plugged in to his bloody eye pad!! . Wish I'd never bought him the damned thing.

Just told him what I'm posting and he at me. Oooh that gets me every time. He wont be grinning when I accidently on purpose forget to take the eye pad to Oz!!!

Any way, time to move on to more important matters. I was going to watch that programme on adoption but as I was thinking about what you've had to go through Ashmore I decided against it. You keep taking those baby steps. I hope you'll be able to get the plans for the letterbox underway and have the opportunity to meet the new mother. for you Ashmore I'm so sorry for the terrible situation you're in.

What a rude 'lady' Celebgran . Maybe when you see her again you could say that you'll be able to lose weight if and when you feel like it but you doubt, at her time in life, she'll be able to do anything about her inability to know how to conduct herself in a social setting.

Oooh Yogagirl 10 year old champagne - lovely. Hope you'd recovered from all that Bailey's enough to be able to enjoy it .

Well everything is ready to pack, there just seems to be so much of it; never have been one for travelling light . Got an email from my DIL today saying I should take a nice dress as we'll be having a girls night out at a casino trouble is I hadn't put a nice dress out to take. Not a problem, I mean I have nice dresses, but the pile just looks soooo big.

Well only 2 more days until we fly to Oz, which means only 3 days until I get to hug my precious boy.

Have a good evening every one. Guess what I'll be dreaming about tonight .

Morning all smileless younjust be all packed and longing for hug with your son ! Not long now!

Ashmore hope concert was good, joe brown comes to our Clacton theatre not see. Him lately but is good, they seem go on for ever these 60s stars they are still so good!

Wedding was lovely, bride looked gorgeous as did my friend, and we enjoyed evening do, ate too much buffet of course, but did quite bit dancing too!
Lucky couple off to Maldives for 2 weeks. Bride does not know yet!

Wet here today so they were lucky.

Off get paper now between showers then we off for lunch out with nice couple.

Feel bit low but wedding bough back memories of Tor. Natural I guess to think of her wedding and when things were "normal"

Yogagirl hope you having good weekend.

Ps massage went really well yogagirl! Would love give you one!
I enjoy it just had lot clutter to clear from couch! Also worry about nails filing them extra carefully! Did quick practice on husband first.

She was so pleased, lovely lady and relaxed her so much so felt worthwhile!

Well ladies it's almost time to go. We're staying over night so will have a lovely meal this evening which will mean our long awaited trip is finally under way.

Feeling very anxious about the long flight but just have to concentrate on the fact that my lovely boy will be there, waiting for us at the other end, and the 3 of us can have that long awaited hug . Tears in my eyes just thinking about it; it's going to be sooo emotional.

Oooh you are a busy bee Celebgran. Glad you enjoyed the wedding. I can understand why it made you think of your D's wedding day when, as you say, every thing was normal. Will things ever be normal for any of us ever again .

Can I have a massage as well please, when I get back?

Hope you are all well and enjoying your weekend. It'll probably be a few days before I can catch up with you all again. Just think, the next time I post I'll be wishing you all a 'gday' from Oz.

Can't believe it's almost here .

love and hugs for you all.