Doing people a favour.......

I really do feel they are taking the 'mickey'. I confess that I wouldn't have had such patience.

A difficult situation indeed. Your relationship with them has already changed so maybe it is time to be kindly assertive, treat it as a business scenario (which it is if you can't afford to bear the cost of repairs) & stop worrying about upsetting them or double-guessing how they might or might not cope or react. Another driver bumped into our small Kia recently (& amazingly left his phone number). Even for this very small dent the cheapest quote is £150 &, to do it properly, £350. When selling DiLs car recently we realised how even tiny marks on a 2nd hand car can affect the sale & price you get so it does matter.
Sounds like you might need to give up the friendly calls whereby you mention it in passing & ask for a proper meeting to discuss it all. This needn't mean you can't compromise in some way but it makes it all more equal & in the end more likely to be resolved fairly. If they are real friends they will survive as friends.

Is this the one Phoenix

Yes, thank you very much Granny23 !

Aaanyway, went to the friends last Tuesday, as J was off on a jolly overnight (which she did really need, I have been quite worried about her) but was concerned about B being on his own, so we said we would go and stay overnight. In all fairness, she had left a lovely lasagne for us all (B, me and Mr P) and we did have a very jolly time playing a version of "name that tune" using YouTube.

However, after a few glasses of wine, B confessed that there was no boy racer, and that he had scraped my car himself.

They are going to get it fixed, but I am so upset that J lied to me, I can see no reason for it and to be honest, it has made me see things in an entirely different light.

I don't think that she knows that B spilled the beans, and if I let on that he did, it may cause friction between them.

Not a good situation, is it?

Phoenix No, it's not good but I think it's what you suspected all along and far better to know what really happened.
Perhaps J was trying to protect B?
Whatever, you will have to raise the matter again with B again and persuade him to tell J himself what happened. If he says he can't, then say to him would it be easier for him if you told her.
Hope that helps and I have got the initials the right way round.

Was the accident because of his recent illness? I assume he can't claim on insurance if it was his fault entirely and if he did he'd have to explain how it happened which could pose questions about whether he should be driving at the moment.

He has been cleared to drive by his GP, and they have said that it is all being handled by their insurers. The thing is, that I think B would have told J the truth, but for some reason she decided to lie about it.

It's all rather "off" IMO.

Phoenix - it is very hurtful when you go out of your way to be kind to somebody and are then betrayed.

This story sounds like the sort of tangled web that a teenager would get themself into, rather than a mature adult. Why not come clean, apologise and then set about rectifying it? What a mess they've made for themselves.

It does sound very much as if she was protecting him which is understandable but surely the best thing would have been to bite the bullet, have the work done (pay the price) and return the car with grateful thanks? "Oh what a (...something or other...) web we weave, when first we practise to deceive"?

Thank you all, it is such a shame that it ended like this. As far as I know the work IS going to be done by a body repair specialist, (under their insurance), apparently it can't be fitted in just yet

The saddest thing is I'm know beginning to doubt everything I'm told!

"tangled web" - I knew it would come to me eventually!!!

Actions speak louder than words

Strange that it can't be fitted in just yet after two months....I see what you mean about doubting what you're being told, phoenix!

DD's car had to be repaired after a minor accident recently and although the body repair specialist did have a waiting list, the work was done within three weeks.

What I can't understand, phoenix is why it can't be fitted in if the insurers are footing the bill. I had an accident a week ago Sunday when my 4x4 was hit up the rear at some speed by a woman who, we think, was on her mobile phone. Her car was a write off, mine had to have a new rear bumper and tow bar. Everything has been taken care of and my car was returned to me, fully repaired, this morning.

I know that there was quite a delay before they spoke to their insurers, then they were a bit taken aback that the garage NFU uses is in Tavistock, quite a way from them. J said that she wasn't prepared to drive it to there, but apparently the garage said that they would pick it up, do the repairs and bring it back. But, according to J they couldn't fit it in for at least 12 days. That was over 2 weeks ago.

I am due to give her a ring tonight, I think I will ask what the current state of play is.

I thought there was a time limit for contacting your insurers although if there were no witnesses I suppose they could lie about the date of the prang.

I thought the same merlot

Just a thought, phoenix. What story have they told their insurers? They could have dug a deeper hole for themselves if they stuck to the tale of the 'boy racer'.

Ah, the advantages of a tow bar! We were run into the back of (if you see what I mean) - very genty - the other car's radiator grille was a complete wreck, and there was only superficial bumper damage to our car. I also used to find it invaluable before we had reversing sensors!

Every time I click on this thread I get an ad for Drink Driving Insurance...what's all that about?

Ana so do I! And it says Devon Direct Insurance. Do you get the same one?

Yes! But I don't live in Devon...

I do!

I used to tell the children that the worst thing about telling lies was that they would be found out eventually and people would no longer trust them....