That I have known the sex of my baby since 20 weeks but not told my mum (the grandma)

I have three grandsons, with another one the way and one grandaughter and I love them all the same.

Frank - you often refer to your daughters and granddaughters, but never make any mention of your daughters' partners/OHs. Do they exist? This is of course really none of my business, but I was just wondering.

Yes, petallus I wouldn't feel safe either, any more.

Be sure whatever the gender of your baby is, your Mother and all your relations will love him/her. Try to relax, enjoy your pregnancy - this baby is a new start and a new life for you all to enjoy.

Good grief Frank, babies don't come to order: I think nature possibly has something to do with it!
I was more than happy with my 3 girls and would have been had they been 3 boys. They have produced between them 5 boys and 3 girls and I wouldn't change any of them for the world. Thankfully, they were all born healthy with no problems and that, I hope, is what we would all wish for our children and grandchildren isn't it?

mishap, your story reminds me of when I was pregnant with DD3. When people asked if I was hoping for a boy, I replied that DH had already decided it was going to be a girl.

Why? they asked.

Because I've already proved I can "do girls".

Sorry... grand-daughters.

Your baby, your decision - stick to your guns!

I am so sick of this nonsense about sons/daughters. I had two daughters, then we decided on a third child after another 6 years and everyone assumed we were trying for a boy - which was of course not true. When I produced another beautiful little girl, I lost count of the number of commiseratory messages I received and my anger grew over time.

On one occasion a lady came up to me in M&S and grabbed my hand and said "Oh my dear, I am so sorry" - it took me a moment or two to realise that she meant about the birth of another girl. I wrenched the cover back on the carry cot and said "Look - I have a beautiful healthy daughter - don't you dare say you are sorry!!" The lady was a patient of my my OH's so it was all a bit embarrassing - but I was so incensed!

I really think you should have a conversation with your Mum. Tell her that it is insulting to her precious grandsons and that you want to hear no more of it. Go girl!

Frank, why do you tell your daughters that they must have at least one boy between them?

Is it just a joke?

Actually, whilst I am thinking about this and in the mood to be forthright, no matter how upset I was about a family problem which involved what I considered to be the unreasonable behaviour of one of my loved ones, I would not feel able to talk about it on Gransnet.

This is because I would be afraid that, amongst all the balanced and good advice, a few people would start making negative comments about the personality and behaviour of said loved one, and I'd hate that.

Well I did not have a son or grandson but I have 2 daughters and 4 granddaughters.
My daughters have said they do not intend to have any more children but if one of them suddenly has another girl there is nothing I can do to stop it.
Also I can tell my granddaughters they must have at least 1 boy between them but my granddaughters or myself could not do anything about it if it does not happen.

The only male members of the wider family under 50 are the dogs. Sometimes people have said they find it a bit strange that all the children in our family are girls and they want boy dogs.

Frank

Thanks Nonu. It runs in the family!

Bags it's not me who is being fuzzy. You missed half my point.

Any human characteristic has an upside and a downside (obviously).

Having a well developed child side in adulthood will mean one can be fun, still have wonder for the world etc. but it will also mean being petty, silly, petulant etc. some of the time.

Think of what a child is like!

PETALLUS , I LIKE your post , very much .

We are meant to have a good time , cannot be a sobersides all the time .

bit early for

I just don't understand some people. DD2 had to IVF for all 3 children and as far as I was concerned as long as Mum and baby were fine, that was all that mattered.

Went with DD2, her hubby and her two children to watch the scan - so exciting. I thought I saw the baby was a boy but didn't say as they did not want to know. Funny thing was that was what they thought too, but didn't say.

On the other hand DD2's in laws said they would like a girl as they already had two male grandchildren. It hasn't made any difference to the way they behave towards them.

As the others have said, just enjoy the moments and take no notice of your Mum. It's your baby and your decision.

Good luck

And two grandsons, so far.

anonymous, I have three daughters, btw.

Daughters do not have to tell their mother's everything and they don't have to put up with stupid and upsetting comments from their mothers in front of their kids.

The woman needs to cut her daughter some slack.

There's a very important difference (actually rather a lot of differences) between being silly childish when one shouldn't be and childlike in one's appreciation of the world. Think you need to clear the fuzz about that, pet.

Childish nonsense?

Some of us do still have a childish streak.

This can be irritating sometimes but also means we can be fun and playful.

Cut the poor woman some slack!

shysal's idea is good.

I agree with gally and jess. Third degree is bang on. Tell her to stop her nonsense, as you would with a child who was being annoying, since she is behaving childishly.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this problem when you should be enjoying the last few days before your baby arrives. I would just treat it with the disdain it deserves i.e. don't mention the subject. It's your secret and yours to relish.
None of my daughters found out the sex of their babies and if they had, I wouldn't have wanted to know.
Good luck and enjoy your little girl when she arrives. If your Mum obviously favours her over the boys, then is the time to take her aside and give her the third degree

I am sure you have bought some gifts for the boys to stop them feeling left out when the new baby arrives. Perhaps you could keep some back in case they are with you when your mother comes, no doubt armed with lots of pink items! When our second child was born, the first was given a toy piano from her new sister - were we bonkers?
My mother was also tactless. She made it clear to all that she loved her first GD more than the other! In your position I would definitely not tell. It is quite common for only the parents to know before the event, so nothing to feel guilty about. It would be lovely to hear how it goes. Wishing you all the best.