Wanting to hold onto our little bit of money?

Change that to last 3 posts!

number It really isn't fair of your son to put you in this position. If he knows how much savings you have, he should realise that you only have, in effect, an emergency fund and are not in a position to help to finance non-essentials. It is totally unreasonable to expect your husband, at 69, to tow such a large vehicle. I think a lot of much younger people would find it a daunting proposition.

You really have to say, kindly but firmly, that you are not in a position to pay out this sort of money.

You should and in my opinion must say NO, for your own sake. Your son is being extremely selfish.

How would No 2, 3 & 4 children react if you went ahead?

I think it's unanimous - NO - bad idea!

This is such an absolute No no! You need your savings for all the unexpected expenses that may crop up. At 69 your savings may have to last you many years yet and it is totally unreasonable for your son to pressure you into this and then to expect your husband to do all the driving! As far as selling the house to pay funeral expenses goes- surely this would only work if you both died at the same time? And as someone else has said suppose you have to pay for care later.

He's not really asking you to go 50/50 though is he? He's asking you to GIVE him 50% plus provide them with a driver. This is wrong on so many levels but I think Tegan is right about the age/pride thing - proceed with caution! It is also so unfair to expect you to hand over such a large proportion of your "rainy day" money. I know in our case, once anything is taken out of savings, it stays out as a pension does not replenish the savings account in the way salaries used to. Good point about the other children too. It is so hard to say NO but you really must try to get DH on your side and present a united front.

An unbelievable request, especially as your son does not drive. What if your husband became unwell while on holiday and felt unable to drive, who would drive everybody back home then?
Neither of you is getting any younger and as many have said before, you do not want to spend every holiday with them and maybe be free babysitters?
I would say no and make sure that your penioner's hat is firmly on. Mine only comes out when somebody wants money!
Enjoy your savings (in the bank!) this is not the time of your life to be worrying about money.

I think that's 31 responses number all unanimous. I think you probably knew what the answer was yourself but maybe some of the points put here will give you a bit more ammunition. Good luck

And there'll probably be many more....

Panic over! I persuaded, well, told, hubby that I wasn`t going to go for it, pointed out that our car, although quite substantial, may not be strong enough to tow this much larger caravan, also that we`d have to holiday in school holidays (more expensive) and did he really want to spend every holiday with 4 other people? Our son has had the opportunity to learn to drive in the past, just doesn`t want to bother, they`d be bringing their own car behind us, it`d just be us in the tow car. Anyway, he rang our son and told him we weren`t bothering. As they know that it was me who was reluctant earlier, my name is probably mud by now!
Thank you all for your replies and great advice, talk about great minds think alike!
For all of you x 31!

number excellent. Well done. You'll sleep better tonight that's for sure. Thanks for the and [cake] - probably be lots over as most will be asleep now. Better not let them go to waste

That was a very definate NO vote, and reassuring that no GNrs were trying to be non-directive in their responses.

Well number how do you really feel about this..... etc.

I can see just how having others views on your point of view in these AIBU posts is helpful.
At times we just need others dispassionate view of a situation to confirm or counter what we have been thinking, a bit of support, or a reality check to our more crazy ideas.

Maybe "sounding out" a dilemma works better with the anonymity of GN than with a friend or relative.
T G F Gransnet.

Ha ha. no we are not all in bed Sel
Well done number you will stop worrying now

I really can stop worrying now, I was picturing every penny we had metamorphosing into a caravan!

Well done number for talking some sense into your DH (although I wonder whether deep down he knew this was a bad idea!)

Just say NO. Number you must not be brow beaten over this, your son hasnt got the money to buy this van. He cannot expect you to use your only savings to finance this silly venture. Stay strong.xxxxxxxxxx

Good for you, number and Mr Number. Was your son really thinking when he made this proposal?

Good for you number. You've done the right thing. Those huge twin axle vans must be a nightmare to tow, quite apart from anything else.

Numberplease....glad its sorted but do not feel in any way guilty. We all have to learn that if we really want things in life its up to us to do something towards it. I.E. learn to drive, save some money etc etc. Your son is a grown up and perhaps he still has a few 'facts of life' to learn.
Good luck!

Well done, number...you know it makes sense. Enjoy your weekend.

Well done number sounded bad idea!

IS hard to say no have feeling I will struggle if our ds asks for help but will it worry at moment!

Glad you've sorted it out. I bet that's a weight off your mind.

number, well done

In answer to your question Anno, yes, he WAS thinking, almost certainly, about how to get what he wants when he wants it. That`s always been his way, to borrow for what he wants, rather than wait and save, then he`s up to his eyeballs in debt. I don`t think he`s been free of debt since he left school, and he`s 43 now!
Anyway, crisis over............hopefully!