Just heard from DD......

I don't expect any visits so I won't be disappointed! Our family have a tacit agreement to avoid driving over bank holidays etc.
It would be a wonderful surprise to see my GS (lives a mile away)any day but that would be a miracle.

Years ago I told myself firmly that a day is ... a day. I don't mind when I see all my younger relations so long as I do. My mum didn't like people 'popping in' So we never did and she had to wait for us to find a large bit of time for a 'proper' visit. I firmly told my grandson( who lives quite near) that I loved 'popping in' and so he does.

You too when.

Yes, you've redeemed yourself Jingle. We should let it go now. I hope you and the children have a lovely Easter

I agree. I probably was being unreasonable.

Can we leave it at that now please.

Jess! That's not necessary. Oh, never mind!

I've already said it all.

Yes you are being very unreasonable. Choosing not to give them easter eggs sounds like trying to start a fight.
Some of us never see our kids at Christmas, or at Easter or at Mothers Day or at our birthdays. So if you are seeing them over the easter weekend then you are very lucky.

Sometimes, Absent, I think life is a storm in a teacup.

#ontablets

Have just texted DD: "If A (Grandson) did by any chance overhear that they would not be getting their Easter eggs, you'd better re-assure them that they will. On Monday. I can't possibly eat all this lot!"

That will do the trick. (she knows me)

Goodness j08 – a bit of a storm in an eggcup really but I am glad that you are feeling reassured and happier as a result of the other grannies' sensible and affectionate posts. They are all good eggs. Have a lovely time with your family at Easter whether you see them in the park on Sunday, at your home on Monday or even both.

And to you Mishap.

Happy Easter! - I am sure that it will be!

I think I forgot to say thank you for all these very kind replies. I have taken them all on board and it is much appreciated.

Hug greatly appreciated Ariadne.

^Galen (((hug)) to you (as always) x

Sometimes it can be upsetting when things change or we feel left out or taken for granted.

Personally, though, I don't think it's a good idea to start laying down the law as to when someone can or can't visit. And once visits become duties, which have to be made to keep the peace, such visits become a chore rather than a pleasure.

Jo

grannyactivist you're right.

Never write a post straight off of the phone!!!

I Will Survive!!! ? ? ?

Sorry if I made you cringe Shysal. #sodoff

I would not ever want my DDs to resent 'having to visit' us! I know I am very fortunate to have family so close that they can pop in regularly and it not be an 'occasion'. So when they have other plans for high days and holidays I don't feel I am missing out.

This year I have offered to do a brunch on Easter Sunday so they can come for an egg hunt & brunch and still have time to do their own thing if they want to. Although oldest DGC only 7 but she still has things at home she likes to do.

I agree with others that sometimes as grandparents we have our ideas about what 'tradition' is but life moves on and traditions get tweaked by the next generation and evolve!

Enjoy your Easter Monday J08

Jingl I know what you wrote was written in haste and that you've since had a rethink - you'll cope, the grandchildren will get their eggs, and a 'new normal' will have begun.
I am feeling particularly fragile at the moment as I have just bought Easter cards to send to my 'absent' grandchildren; it always gets me a little teary because it sets off a train of thought wondering if I'll ever see them again or, in the case of the youngest, at all.
I'm trying hard to count my blessings and am very thankful that I am so involved with my youngest grandchildren.

jingle does it matter Easter Sunday or Easter Monday, I dont think it does. When we had a young family we took a stand to put down our own traditions and tried to include the older generation, your family has asked you to join them on Easter Sunday you go along and you might even find you enjoy the routine being shaken up a bit, we can get stuck in a rut as to what order we expect things done and our feathers get a bit ruffled but I think if you go with the flow you will enjoy your weekend and maybe even a little bit more than normal... go on give it a go. The Grandchildren will be desperate to see you.

I sometimes cringe when I hear someone being 'needy'. I always say, and I mean it, that as long as the family are happy and well I am content to see them as much or as little as is convenient to them. DD2 was unable to see me on Mother's Day, as she was out with the childen for the day, and that was the way it should be, as it was her day too. As long as we all know that we care about each other all is well.

"I agree with a lot of what you say Mishap, but I can't help feeling that children should have some care for other people's feelings instilled in them."

I am sure they care about your feelings - but perhaps it is a matter of examining your feelings and asking if they are reasonable ones. It is very hard to control how we feel about things I know only too well - but maybe it is not reasonable for you to feel put out about this, so they cannot be accused of not caring about your feelings. I am not expressing this very well really - but I hope you get the gist! I think I am tentatively suggesting that maybe you are being a bit over-sensitive about this. I sympathise, but feel that it is very important that they know they can do new things without hurting you.

They sound like lovely people - enjoy them!

Ginny's comment about risking losing what we hold most dear has to be the crux of the matter.

Jings

I remember when, after taking my daughter to school for years, I had to ask my dear mum and dad to let her go on her own. My mum and dad were heart broken and I felt terrible.

It wasn't that she no longer wanted them, she was growing up and she was changing. Are you not so sure that is perhaps the worry you are feeling. In other words, will this be the way things might be heading.

I have noted you are close to your family and I understand how you are feeling. I too have a 7 year old GD and I am waiting for the day when I will be in the same situation as I placed my dear mum and dad, it will happen. Our families work hard, try to balance life as best they can and if they are having fun does it have to be an issue. You know they love you, this would be a silly thing to have words over.

If I know kids they can't wait to get there eggs from you and you will feel a lot better when you see them.

It's a sign that the children are growing up, Jingle, they have ideas of their own and want to do other things. It is hard to accept these changes, I really do understand- my daughter has already told me that her children want to spend next Easter and next Christmas at her house, and I found myself feeling very disappointed. But as someone has already said, they have to be allowed to establish their own traditions and we must step back. They will still want to see you, from some of your posts you sound very close to your family, and Easter Monday will be fun, it is still part of the holiday.

Personally i think you should call back and say sorry. That you will be very pleased to see them on the Monday. Things change and develop and we have o adapt. Otherwise we risk losing what we hold most dear.