presents for my estranged grand daughters.

Hi celebgran...I'm fairly new on this site but have learned very quickly how much valuable support there is from other nans/grans/mums who are going through your heartache scenario, which it is almost unbearable.
I, for one, understand exactly your pain. Christmas is very stressful at the best of times, and we have it rammed down our throats, this whole big, happy Christmas family thing - a bit like out of a black & white film, and as unreal. Life ain't like that for a lot of us. There's a lot of grans/nans/mums here that are in a tunnel of treacle with a light at the end that's an oncoming train! Thankfully though we support each other through this horrific time. Yes, you have a lovely husband, friends and a marvelous son - and you have us:-) Keep talking and posting. Being in a similar situation to you, I get so much comfort from the wise words of other women who gather here to help each other (((hugs)))

oh dear I am feeling very upset now nearly Xmas and not word from my daughter, on edge for her contacting her godmother, and not us it will hurt us so much.

I had one of my panic attacks last night, it is just so very very stresful this time of year I miss her so and long to see my grand daughter.

I must get a grip I have lovely husband, and friends and marvellous son!!

Thank you whenim64 and choirlady for your welcome! I get glimpses of my little grandson from pictures on facebook, but it's bittersweet because it is lovely to see him, but agonising to see what I am missing. I love celebgran's idea of keeping a blog because I know that one day, this young man will want answers and I want him to know that I have never given up on him, despite his parent's differences. Happy Christmas to you all xx

Welcome secretgran and thanks for your welcome angiebaby

Welcome secretgran. News of a grandchild ought to be the beginning of a wonderful time and I'm glad to hear you have been able to see the baby. Maybe there never will be a relationship between the parents, but the mum might find your continued presence helpful over time. Keep sending litte gifts and asking for photos, which you can then thank her for and comment about the great job she's doing. I do hope you get to see more of him.

Hi ladies,
I came across this thread by chance, and have been inspired to join Gransnet. I found out in April this year that I am a grandma...my son fathered a baby after a one night stand....very complicated story, but we only found out when the baby - my grandson - was 4 months old! My son was in total shock and refuses to have anything to do with the baby, other than paying child maintenance. I have met my grandson 4 times, but as I have been unable to bring about reconciliation between my son and the baby's mum, she has broken off contact with me. I am heartbroken, both at not being able to be a proper grandma and at my son's attitude. I love them both and am praying that one day things will be right between them. I missed his first birthday last month - although I did get a text from his mum to thank me for his present, so hopefully she hasn't written me off completely. I don't know what to give him for Christmas, so have got a gift voucher - so impersonal, but I don't know what he wants or needs. I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone, but it is comforting to know that there are other grandparents out there undergoing similar challenges - I thought that I was the only one!

Gosh, this is the first thread that has ever made me cry. My heart breaks for all you grans who are banned from seeing their GC's. You are amazing people. I do hope that things can be resolved one day for you all. It certainly makes me count my blessings. Love and hugs to you all xxx

CHOIRLADY,,,,,,CELEBGRAN,,,,merry christmas everyone,,,,,,,,,,,,all those grans who have all these emotional problems with their kids,,,,ive had it too,,,,but dont give up they will come round in there own time,,,(thats annoying )i wrote a book and my kids will know how much they hurt me over the years,,,,,,but wait till therir kids treat them badly,,,,what goes around comes around,,,try not to get upset but ha,,,,you saw mollie,,,great,,,one small step for mankind,,,,they will get in touch with you sooner or later,,,,curiosity killed the cat remember......in the meantime,,,enjoy and look after yourself so when they do get in touch you can go out keep up with them and enjoy yourselves and make up for lost time, hope father christmas brings you lots of presents,,,,big hug xx welcome choirlady,,gald you could join us,

I was estranged from my daughters children for 8 years due to her drug use, she told her kids some awful stuff about me what a wicked mother I was.

When I started to see her children that was 8 years ago now they hated me but I continued to send presents and cards to them, they are now so happy to see me we have wonderful meet ups go shopping and usually a pizza because they call that our tradition not that we are italian!

I stay in a travelodge usually when I go to Devon to see them but they stay at my home when they come for a visit, we have a great friendship and a lot of love for each other they text me and ring at least once a week they are all coming for new year.

when the childern get older they find things out for themselves and make their own judgements so sit tight thedy will make up their own minds

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Have just read some of the threads here. Like you Jodi I have a "volatile" or up and down relationship with my DD and have 2 or3month periods of her not talking to me. She didnt speak to her father (my ex husband) for 3years so that shows you how stubborn and determined she can be. On saying all that she has never stopped me/us seeing the two GD. Oh my that would break my heart. I have been almost in tears reading some of the posts here today and just wanted to say how my herat goes out to all of the grandmothers here who have been shut out for whatever reasons. I have only known the brief periods of those heartache times cannot imagine your agonies.Xto you allX

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I have had no acknowledgement either of gifts but I think I prefer this to a poss unpleasant email or, worse still, phone call. She knows how to get in touch...

That is so sad goose and how often do we hear this story of love rejected. My relationship with my own daughter is volatile, but a least we see each other often and I have unlimited access to my grandchildren.
I cannot imagine how I would cope with a situation like yours and celebgran and so many others. The mixture of emotions that must be inside you
((( hugs)))

Hello everyone...I hope you don't mind me butting in, but I'm so relating to all of what's being said on this thread. Ironically, I've just finished wrapping up gift cards I bought as presents for my three daughters and my two grandchildren, none of whom I've seen for 9 months...my grand daughter I've never seen and wasn't told when she was born.
This is breaking my heart. I can understand where you're coming from Celeb...I, like you, will get no acknowledgement of my gifts, but I know my own deep feelings of emptiness are somehow lightened in the knowledge that I have given to the people I love so deeply, and who hurt me so much - the same as I have over the last 30+ years, and I get deep pleasure from doing so...the pain is I won't be there to see the gifts being opened (but neither will I be there to see the gifts possibly being thrown aside). I only hope that, whatever their reactions on receiving my gifts, if nothing else, they will perhaps remember better times, when giving and receiving were joyous times in equal measures.
Sorry, I'm waffling. It's a comfort to know that I'm not the only grandnan in the world that's going through this terrible, painful, loss...

well got back from our Dominic Kirwan concert and was on edge but so far no phone call or letter from police so seems like we are not going to get in trouble for delivering presents!

awful to live your life like this on edge, I was nervous wreck when the phone rang and it was reminder about my hearing aid appt!
we also had 2 1571 messages and I was nervous listening to them.

Phew so glad I saw little Mollie and so far no come back.
what a dreadful daughter I have who doesnot give a damn about her parents.
sometimes I just get angry with her other times just so sad, mixture of emotions.

Thanks again all. Celebgran I'll message you tomorrow

Welcome choirlady I am sure you will find like minded people on GN.

Welcome to you!

welcome choir lady and please private message me if you need to.

I do not use my correct name but I really do not have much to lose the way my daughter has cut us totally out of her life.
keep strong and keep posting!!

Thanks both

Choirlady, welcome, as long as your daughter does not know your user name and you tweak your story slightly, like they do on the radio when names are changed or actors speak the dialogue you should be safe on Gransnet.

Welcome, choirlady. You will find plenty of support on our forums as well as entertainment and companionship.