sad/traumatic christmas

Yes we had a very scary few days before Christmas with a young family member , happily she seems to of recovered without further damage so we can breathe again till the New Year when more treatment is scheduled. I have everything crossed.

There always seems to be especially traumatic accidents at this time of year...I hope they all are saved from the ferry, the plane, I don't hold out a lot of hope for those poor souls.

A good friend is waiting for biopsy for possible ovarian cancer. She has suffered for years with UC and has crumbling spine.
Some people seem to have their's and other peoples troubles too.

We have only just got home and weren't aware of the ferry and plane. Thinking of them all.

Thankfully we were all OK this year but 4 years ago GS was -eventually-rushed with blue lights via GOSH crash team to GOSH with meningococcal septicaemia and put into an induced coma. He had been turned away from one medical centre and at another his father was told there was a 2 hour wait. Gradually he began to slip into unconsciousness and luckily his father shouted for help and the doctor who came running recognised the disease. It was the most frightening Christmas of our lives. Luckily he recovered - so many don't. Never ever wait to see if a rash appears. He had to be helped to walk again and especially at Christmas when he's busy with his projects and running about I give thanks he's still with us

It is a real pleasure to hear that you have enjoyed your Christmas ethel.

I do not think it is possible to go through any Christmas, when one is so happy with one's family without remembering those for whom the event brings sad memories. This year, apart from public disasters, we have had 4 deaths in the family, 2 sudden, 2 premature.

Each evening over Christmas, as we have our meal we've lit a candle as a way of thinking of those having such a dreadful time.

That's mice.

Oops! Nice!

Isn't that just inviting misery into your home Tegan? Why?

In our family we have various birthdays and deathdays over Xmas - I think that Life just carries on its own way regardless of what date it is in the calendar. This year (touches wood) we have had a lovely time, but close family have lost a loved one - I think some people 'hang on' til Xmas is just over.

I think lighting a candle is a nice way to remember people together - I also have special Xmas tree decorations that remind me of different people, so decorating the tree has a special meaning.

I hope your neighbour recovers Ethel, and that you can allow yourself to enjoy some of the festivities. Switch off the news for a few days.

It's 38 years today since my Dad's funeral, one of the saddest days of my life.
But I would feel the same whatever time of year he had died.

I think it was papaoscar who mentioned lighting a candle after the Glasgow tragedy; there have been even more tragedies since then. It's just my way of recognising the sadness of others at a time when the rest of us are happily tucking into our meals. We went to see A Christmas Carol last night, a story that, to me sums up the spirit of Christmas. I'm not 'inviting misery into my home'; just, somehow trying to be empathic towards others less fortunate.

We had a Christmas 15 years ago which involved from Dec 8th,one diagnosis of Breast cancer , one operation,one chest infection ,one faint from delirium an d a split open head.two visits to A&E ,one emergency GP call out to two patients,one emergency visit to GP with patient sent straight to hospital and a diagnosis of pneumonia and culminating on Sat 14th Jan with GP suggesting a "breath of fresh air to do us good" with me tripping and chipping bones in both wrists and putting a front tooth through my lip and badly bruising my face. This performance did not have a cast of thousands it involved four of us and every word is true. We really can laugh about it now but it took a long time to recover.

I have just heard that my DDs friend has lost her mother although in her 80s and poorly no-one expected her to go so quickly. Why do tragic and unhappy things seem to occur so much over the festive season or is it just that because its a happy time the suffering seems so much worse.

also a few years ago my grandfather died on Christmas day and was buried on new years eve. It was our first Christmas with my DD so the sadness was balanced with the new baby joy.

I too think that when tragic, sad things happen over Christmas and New Year it seems so much worse ethelbags, and seems magnified too.
And there always seems to be a major disastrous event too....

All these comments just make the feeling of having to be jolly at this time worse. It makes me mad when Classic FM even on the hall of Fame hour play Christmas Carols a lot and every radio and TV station tells us how wonderful this time of year should be. So many people have problems , are lonely or sad and all this makes things worse. If it was possible to ban Christmas ( and New Year ) I would . Perhaps it would seem better if we lived in a hot country though one Christmas my daughter brought home a friend who was working in the Uk but came from New Zealand. She was so excited when it snowed at Christmas and kept saying " This is what Christmas should be like. " Remembering Sue brings a tear to my eye as she returned to New Zealand and married her childhood boyfriend . He had three children whom she took on and she dies trying to save the children from a house fire.

I have a candle as part of our table decoration thing (there's only ever me and Mr P, but we do like do things "properly" at least in our own way.

When I light it, I always think of my darling boy, DS2, who left us, aged 19, on December 12th, 2008.

This has been the saddest of Christmases for me, but I don't like to share personal stuff on GN.

Good wishes to everyone who's going through a tough time - let's hope next year holds something good for all of us.

Ana my own hasn't been a bundle of laughs but was expected and coped with .

My lovely Dad died 45 years ago tonight. A long time ago but I still miss him. I think I will light a candle as well.

Ana if you would like to talk to anyone of us, I'm sure I speak for most Gnetters..you could always pm and it would be private, if that helps you in anyway.

With so many sadnesses, as well as joys of course, I find Christmas jollity somewhat synthetic and forced most years.
I do hope that 2015 brings you all some peace in your lives and hearts xx

Ana; a hug is winging it's way to you....