Sleep routines and destructive behaviour

These children must be so upset. As adults, I think all problems seem more difficult during the night and it will be the same for your grandchildren. They need reassurance and comfort. Co sleeping is almost certainly the answer. As they become settled, they will sleep alone - perhaps sharing a bedroom with one another once this stage is reached. You are wonderful for looking after them and caring so much. I hope you can look after yourselves as well.

Your doing an amazing job .The little girls must be so confused .I agree with the other posters, don't make this a battle, have you got room to put the girls bed at the side of yours, I did this with my son it saved me getting in and out of bed, I just used to reach out and touch him when he stirred , much easier.Then of course, he was much more settled through the day, because he had slept well, and so was I. Hope everything works out for you all.

They must be feeling very disturbed and upset and this can make children very clingy, but I can see that you too need your sleep.

I think some kind of co-sleeping may be the best thing for the time being and then start putting them to bed in their room and saying they can come into your room, but not until you go to bed, with luck they will be so asleep when you come up they will start sleeping through.

The final stage is staying in their own bedroom. If they come into your room, do not speak to them or kiss or cuddle them, just take them back to their own bedroom and put them into bed and keep doing that until they get the message. This may result in you having a week or two of sleepless nights, but choose your time for doing the two of you do it, night on/night off.

You have my very sincere sympathy, you have a difficult problem, but it can be contained over time.

They must be pretty confused at the moment and that may be disturbing their sleep. I would suggest one of you sleep in the same room as them with the door shut so they can't escape. That way at least one person gets a good night's sleep.

Also, make sure they have lots of outside playtime/walks if possible so that they are properly tired. Plus a good bedtime countdown routine - exactly the same every night with calm bathtime and storytime.

I agree with the other posters - these children have had a very upsetting time of it. Who knows what goes on in their heads, and at such a young age. I'd either move into their bedroom with them, or let them sleep in with you - either in your bed or on mattresses on the floor. They need reassurance and this is the way to give it to them. They've been left by their parents - maybe they are fearful that you'll disappear too.

I’d agree with BlueBelle - sometimes sleeping with the children is the easiest option- means everyone gets some sleep. It might mean either you or your wife sleeping in room with them, or else bringing them into your room. Mattress on the floor or camp bed if you don’t want them in bed with you.
Even children who haven’t been separated from parents can go through periods of night waking, and being scared.

I m afraid I may be taken to the cleaners here but when my kids went through bad sleep periods I took the path of least resistance and either popped into bed with them or they with me I realise this wouldn’t work for everyone and perhaps goes against heath visitors doctors advice but it always worked for me it’s usually down to fear, needing comfort, or some destructive thoughts all made worse by the ‘battle of wills’ It didn’t lead to me having children in my bed for the rest of my life it was just that for those periods I got my sleep and kids got their comfort

They may love seeing your daughter but it may upset them and unsettle them they are very young to be parted from their mum and dad, well done you for looking out for them but don’t make it a battle please, it ll harm all of you