Cinderella - The Gransnet Panto!

Join the team you tiny mouse
We've got to get cinders our of this house
Pooofffff

Faye!! Cat now coachman! Faye for Cinders!! You're wasted as a mouse!

Cinders, impressed 'Oh! That is so much better that that old car. I had to bloody walk back, you know! Let's go!.'
(She's forgotten how she 's dressed. - and she still needs a coachman. Grab the cat, FG.)

Critic: Reminds me of Bill Bryson on cricket: the only game (pantomime) to incorporate meal breaks.

FG1 is here again.
Gosh, she is a total pain.
Cinders – how much longer shall we tarry?
How about you marry Harry?

FG, To audience.
Which designer should i go for with the frock thing. McQueen perhaps? He's pretty good at doing princessy? Or should I go for more of a red carpet McCartney look. OOOOOOO what about a Westwood. That would put the coachman amongst the pigeons woudn't it. Big decision as this gig is going to be on the front of Hello

OK - cat now coachman and FG back in posh togs Do we have Cinders in that coach/Maserati? To the ball..................................

OK - cat now coachman and FG back in posh togs Do we have Cinders in that coach/Maserati? To the ball..................................

Ooooops! You can tell I'm champing at the bit!

(Coach departs with the coachman singing loudly 'Oh, the Deadwood Stage is coming on over the hill..........')
'Who is Cinders, who is shee..........mAYBE i AM A BIT.............'

'ew trying to pick a fight love? Yew and 'oos army.
Right then Cinders stand still now
In a mo I'll take a bow
Here's a frock and here's a hair
Here's the makeup and the pair
Of Jimmy Choos now you take care
Don't break your leg when you climb the stair

Poooooofffffffff Cinders is transformed into here designer outfit and J. Choos with 5 inch heels

have a great time babe, see you in the mornin
But one last thing, all this bling will disappear on the final stroke of midnight...
Exits to huge applause

'sORRY - i'LL COME BACK - FORGOT cINDERS...' cOACH RETURNS..

OOOOOH........now it gets exciting! (who is Cinders?)

I dunno - Faye, do you want to?

Sleeping Beauty:

Laughs at Cinderella heading for a fall
Finally on her way to the ball
Sneering at her tiny feet
Sniffling from eating too much wheat
Fairy Godmother you make me laugh
Cinders still looks like a chaff

The Countess of Bloody Nowhere bitches: 'OOOOh, who does she think she is, that tart in the Jimmy Choos? Bet she got them off Ebay.'

PLEASE - someone step up and DO Cinders.

No my duty
is as Sleeping Beauty

'I don't know me lines. I can play it by 'ere if you get another prompt person..'

Oxonella was already Cinderella

'Okay! Where this prince then? Lead me to him - let's see what he's really like!'

Let's hear it for Oxon/Cinderella's grand entrance. Go girl - you can do it!

I can't be Cinders
I've had THAT call
I've got to race, no time at all
Baby's waiting, needs her feed
Mum and dad I have to heed
Baby 2 is coming at last
Just hope I don't drive there too fast
Wheeee - laters!

Drive carefully Carol - we'll carry on regardless and see you later.

'Got to be introduced, have I? Who does that then?'
She sees the three sisters heading her way....................