re blowing up in your face

People are people and this is what can happen - there are always vested interests. It must be frustrating for you.

Even small villages have power struggles!

I joined the PTA many years ago and really enjoyed it until my ex decided he fancied it too and became chairman. After our divorce he married the PTA secretary.. she was welcome to him.

Whatever it is can become their personal fiefdom, no matter how small the number of people that attend.

I am sorry, was it not possible for you to stand your ground , if you were a victim of the 'I'm in charge brigade ' you can be sure there will be another victim,

Thank you everyone. Not as bad as it was for you tanith!!- just one manipulative game too many. Makes you feel isolated though- pushes playground buttons..

Our village has just acquired lottery money to build a new village hall, about which there was a lot of contention. We all sit back now and wait for those artisans who are on the parish council (who OK'd the plans) or have been pressing for it to feather their nests by being employed to build it!!! The previous one is an historical gem and will be sold off. Hmm.

Don't most villages have their own queen or king of the jungle. Said with feeling!!

TendringGran I can imagine in a small community it has a bigger impact.

Luckygirl it will make an interesting topic of conversation I'm sure , shame about the 'historical gem'.

A soon to retire friend is experiencing this at the moment, small community.
First time volunteering recently she could not do anything right, her teas were too milky, her washing up was stacked wrongly.

Yup.......got the T shirt!!!

Oh dear didn't I discover how cut throat village life can be when I retired to a Yorkshire Dales village? However I learnt and now in this East Midlands Market Town I take things more sensitively I hope and I understand the huge emotional attachment people have to their territory. DH is currently observing WW3 at the Bowls Club over who shall decorate the Christmas Tree!

We had our Christmas tree foisted on us but can't find anyone to decorate. The three of us who get lumbered usually are walking round studiously refusing eye contact with the queen!!

Yes, we have a queen bee here, but unfortunately she has the attention span of a gnat so swans in and then out unpredictably depending on her mood. She loves to be drama queen. She has her acolytes however so she can't be criticised. Sorry, sounding bitter and twisted (and for mixed metaphors)..

TendringGran, all sounds very familiar I just find it so strange that outwardly intelligent women....and its always women....can allow themselves to be manipulated by these unpleasant Bees.......I was just told that the others got used to it and it was best in the long run to put up with her ways than cause a fuss.....hells teeth we are all human beings...all deserve mutual respect if we are decent types...so why should someone be allowed to play by their own rules! Was all beyond me so I stepped back and got involved in other things, a local charity and with other (much nicer) people.

And don't even get me started on parish councils!

Or village hall committees!

The more I read about village life, the more I'm jolly grateful not to live in one. If there's one thing I really can't abide it's the small-mindedness of the self-appointed tribal elder, which every village or community seems to have

I don't think it is just villages. Any group that meets for some kind of discussion is usually relatively small and there is always at least one who tends to take over. I have seen this in meetings at work too. I love to support community activities but avoid the infighting that seems inevitable. It doesn't really matter as nobody listens to me anyway

It always happens where there are people and it is all about control.

TendringGran I had an experience today of someone in a position of authority treating a homeless man very badly - I hate to say it, but I think she did it simply because she could - sadly there will always be people who play power games.

Hard to do but hope you were able to help that man Grannyactivist. Perhaps a complaint if you know who they are.

Indinana, the advantage of living in a village(at least this one) far outweigh the disadvantages. Lots of the good things here are as a result of the vision of our queen bee. I didn't have to get involved but do because the village is important to me. It's just hard work sometimes.

I did put my heart and soul into the volunteering I did previously and that well and truly blew up in my face., That was for a national charity and I worked in our local town. That was ruined by people playing power games. So not confined to villages.