DH wanting to book another holiday

Could he plan some short breaks away alone, it can be difficult when two people want to live in different ways.

Is a taxi to/from the airport an option so you wouldn't have to worry about driving ?

If your DH wants you to want the holiday, maybe you could sometimes find something you would like to do and ask him to book that. You could then perhaps pick something that's easier for you physically.

What a good idea Septimia
Yes, you choose somewhere you will enjoy and which will be easy for you.

I'm sure you will find something that's worth the effort.

If the cateract is done in January he ll be well over it to drive himself by June but that’s not the point you both have different wants and expectations so it ll have to be a compromise on both sides
Maybe a short uk holiday what’s wrong with that ?

I think he should wait until he can drive again after his op if you don’t enjoy driving.
Must say I’d love a holiday but I don’t have your mobility probs. Be honest and tell him how you feel, he can’t have holidays all the time if you don’t want that or worry about it.
Good luck.

Perhaps book a taxi, or a car service to the airport?

We've booked a car service, cheaper than parking long term.

How I wish I could swap with you . After getting covid on holiday almost 2 years ago DH is not keen to go near an airport again. We used to head for the sun twice a year and go to Italy and Austria as well some years. How I miss the break and the lovely weather. I have just nobody else I want to go away with so I am stuck . I cannot blame my DH as he has had long lasting effects from his illness but at my age time is running out . I would love to know what the expensive holiday is Stansgran that you are going to in the summer.
As a PS when my brother died his widow told me that she wished she had agreed to go on more holidays that he would have liked to go on.

Does he have nothing but holidays to look forward to? That’s very sad.

Could you persuade him to join some clubs eg Probus, U3A, where he could get involved as one of the organisers? They also have trips away with interest groups.

It sounds as if he has a lot of surplus energy which needs channelling into a positive direction.
DH was like a spare part when he first retired then I suggested he joined local groups, which he did with enthusiasm.

I'm not keen on going on holiday since Covid. Yet more friends have returned from a cruise with Covid. ☹

If your DH's cataract operation goes ahead in January he should be ok to drive by the end of February but if you don't want to go put your foot down.

Holidays are great but they're rather like taking vitamins when what we need is a good diet every day!

I think you are being sensible in not wanting to book anything until after he has heard about his cataract op, then maybe a shortish break somewhere in between the op and your big June holiday.

What would be the point in having a holiday arranged, then finding he needs to go into hospital then?

I’m with you all the way.

Normally you are fine to drive and fly 24 hours after a cataract operation so perhaps it's more about your mobility and desire to go on holiday. Why not try to find a compromise that you will both enjoy? My OH has become a lot less adventurous whereas I want to do more travelling as I have time. tbh I do get rather irritated as his idea of a nice holiday is not really where I want to go. Would he go on a holiday for solo travellers? We don't always have to do things as a pair.

My DH was the holiday planner and I have lots of great memories which I wouldn’t have had it been left to me. He once pointed out that I was the only person he knew who got more cheerful as the holiday went on and going home got closet so you are not alone. Now he is not here I don’t go anywhere, which is really sad.

could he go away with a friend?

I'm certainly with you on insisting on reasonable flight times - those early morning ones wipe me out for a day or two afterwards.

Could you consider a short cruise?

You are going away over Christmas, and you have another holiday booked for June so your husband already has two to look forward to!

I am in a very similar position as you I recently went on a trip to London I was very ill. On my return after many tests I have a chronic long term lung condition as well as osteoarthritis in many joints. My dh also has health issues but they only seem to hinder when it suits him. Usually I struggle to get him to go on a day out or for a meal as he just wants to sleep!
Travelling far and even abroad now are for me something I dread I don’t see the point if I’m unwell I have dug my heels in and made it clear enough is enough. We have travelled plenty in the past but that was before not so good health took over.
Pleasant short holidays is the only way I want to travel now I am not being selfish just realistic you should do the same.

Hi Stansgran. I feel for you. MrA is exactly the same. As soon as we get home from one expedition he’s chafing to go on another, while I just want to enjoy being at home.
Have you thought of a cruise? We went to Norway last March with Fred Olsen, sailing from Newcastle. It was brilliant. I noticed staff were super-helpful to people with mobility problems & they have last-minute offers too.

I sympathise as we too have divergent needs as regards holidays abroad. The divergence in our case arises from age and health differences and our more recent experiences have been fatiguing because of cancelled flights, late arrivals, unusually hot climate, etc. We have cruised and will again but we are rarely satisfied with only one day in each port. We have both been used to a sparky social life with very able people but local groups don't seem to fill that gap. And travel insurance is is becoming very expensive with age over 80 and a clutch of declared conditions, especially for the USA.

No one else seems to have mentioned insurance. It is almost impossible to get travel insurance if you are waiting for an operation. If you don’t tell the insurance company, even if you have annual insurance, it may invalidate the whole policy.

It sounds as though your hubby is desperate to have something to look forward to .
I can understand that .
But he's failing to understand that it's a strain for you .
Exactly the same happened in my family .
My father wanted to go on adventurous trips , but my mother couldn't cope .
In their case , he was having some health problems , but my mother who was actually physically stronger was suffering from increasing agoraphobia .
She stopped wanting to go out - even on a day trip to the seaside never mind a holiday to Canada and Alaska .
Eventually , they compromised on gentle cruises until even putting one foot over the doorstep was too much for her .

We once took a bus to and from Heathrow, highly recommended, and you could get a taxi to and from your local bus station. I also recommend cruises - what about a river cruise? You'll be able to stay on board while your DH goes on an outing when the boat is moored.
Having said that, if it's really a strain for you any holiday might leave you less than refreshed....

Why are you trying to "appease an angry man" instead of giving him a rocket?

It sounds to me as if he is completely ignoring your health issues, your wishes, and likes and dislikes.

Forgive me if I am being unhelpful, but in your place, I would tell him that if he wants an extra holiday, he can have it, as long as you both can afford it, but he goes off on it on his own, because you no longer are able to enjoy travelling.

And that you would really like him to show you a little consideration, now and again, instead of always having to fall in with his wishes.

He may not have realised how tiring you find being away from home, you know.

I've just had cateract ops on both eyes (1st one a month ago, second one last week) and was given very strict instructions each time that I was not to pick up anything heavier than a book for two weeks after each one - so bear that in mind if you can't carry suitcases/bags, as his eyes will need to heal..!