Any Gransnetter living abroad?

We live in France Sheila and have found the last year difficult not being able to visit family in UK. My grandchildren are all grown up now so we are able to keep in touch with Whatsapp etc. We have been able to meet up with friends etc in between lockdowns so not totally isolated. We live in a very rural area so are used to being on our own with just the animals for company. My husband does not want to go back to UK to live, I would quite like to but financially it would be difficult. I'm generally happy here,

Hello Sheila. Welcome to gransnet if you are new.
There are a number of grans who live abroad with a couple in Germany I think, who might come along in a bit.
I can only say my dear mum did your journey in reverse moving from Germany in her twenties until she died in the uk some years ago. She never went back because she said she would be a foreigner there, it being so long since she had been away, though her times were war and post war, different to now. My daughter has been in Germany fir a long time, with no plans to return.
I am sorry you are feeling a bit homesick. It’s probably because you have stopped working, I am not sure if there is the same volunteering opportunities in Germany as we have here? It might be worth looking around.
It’s not great here at present, I would stay where you are for now.

sheila so sorry you feel this way, I only moved 2 hours away from ‘home’ and I would give anything to go back.
But if I did, my family are no longer alive, other friends and family have all moved away and buildings that I knew have either gone or have been built around so that I probably would struggle to settle back in.
I think it’s the ‘other mans grass’ syndrome! I know I am better off where I am now and we can’t live on nostalgia.

My husband was like you when we lived in Spain. Eventually, I gave in and we returned to the UK. He doesn't like it and would give anything to live in Spain again, but now, of course, we can't.

I think 'the other man's grass' is very true.

Ate you homesick of the country and family you remember or to the one that may be waiting for you?

Plenty of my friends emigrated and then went back to home country.
They were so surprised how much the home country had changed, they had changed as people too (different mentality than the one they had when they left)

Thank you very much for your comments. Yes, I think it probably is a case of "other mans grass syndrome". What I really miss is the mentality sometimes. I know life can be difficult in UK as well as every country but we all seem to get on with it with our typical sense of humour. I get very tired of the German seriousness and lack of humour and especially in Berlin, their friendliness. Perhaps just moving out of this city would be a solution. Anyway, I think Covid19 exaggerates the way I feel at the moment. Regards to all and roll on 2021, can only get better!

I assume you are new Sheila so why not post on here again, it might help with homesickness, and occupy you as there are so many different subjects covered. I spend far too much time on it, but in these difficult days, it helps. Join in, you would be made very welcome I am sure.

Which part of Berlin are you in? I was in the East just after the wall came down- in 92, in Lichtenberg. People seemed cold ont he surface, but they were amazing once you got to know them. Are you fluent in German?

I live in Switzerland btw, the French speaking part- near where I was born and bred. After 40 years in UK in several locations, returned here in retirement to look after my very elderly parents, now gone. Always intended to go back to UK, but this is much less likely now.

I hope things start to improve for you Sheila once this pesky covid is out of our lives.

I notice you point out German seriousness and lack of humour in Berlin. Just a word of warning, there are posters on here who will jump on your stereotyping inhabitants of other countries. I had an amusing dig at the French recently and was severely criticised for foreigner bashing! What I omitted to say was that like you I was attracted enough to a Frenchman to want to marry him!

We lived in rural France for 18 years, a similar situation to Sodapop. We were very happy there, no complaints at all. You need to be able to speak french though.
But with old age slowing us up at last gave in and returned to UK. Where we do feel 'at home'.
Now there's not the freedom of movement as in the past I would be more cautious.
Sheila you've been in Germany a long time,do you still have many family and friends in the UK?
I've a vague idea that you come from Hull?
Things in the UK have changed so much over the last 10 years, never mind 47.

After over 10yrs of living in Spain running a very profitable business which we hoped to pass on to our son's they met girls and returned to uk to get married,my husband missed the boys so much as I did so we sold up and returned to uk .
It was the best 10yrs of our lives and sometimes wish we had stayed,I was never really homesick as the flight home was just over 2 hrs and I could pop back when I wanted then.

Although I settled almost immediately when I came to NZ in 1973 with my husband and all his family, none of the others did (though Dad stayed on, alone, for years).

Eventually, my husband, Mil and sisters in law came back to the UK and settled back just fine.
It nearly killed me!
I pined for New Zealand in a way I'd never done for England even though I'd left my own Mum and sister behind.

It may sound strange to add that I love England and I'm fiercely proud of my heritage and history. It's a beautiful country and holds so many happy childhood memories...but Aotearoa-New Zealand is where my heart is.

Within 18 months of being back in UK my husband regretted leaving NZ and wanted to return but a change of government and re-entry rules prevented it.

I did come back a few years later, and we've been here 35 years and taken 2 holiday trips (8 weeks each) back to the UK which, as others have said, has changed beyond belief.

I think settling in a new country has very little to do with what's around you (unless people are particularly cruel and racist towards you) and much more to do with ones own emotions and personality.
I loved NZ before I knew anything about the place or people (who are indeed mostly kind and generous).
I just felt I'd come home - there's no way I can explain it.

You're right BradfordLass, NZ is a beautiful place. My uncle was a naval surgeon and travelled around the world, but once he had seen NZ he decided to move there and bought a GP practice. The people are lovely, we have family all over South Island and often visit.

I've moved around the world a fair bit. USA, China, Spain & now Switzerland. None of them have really felt like home, other than China, which I regard as my 2nd home.

I have a love / hate relationship with the UK, but warts and all, I regard it as home. I can't imagine retiring anywhere else, although would follow my DD/GS if they moved away.

We have lived in France for fifteen years. We are in Normandy so the countryside is similar to England and as the crow flies I am only about 130 miles from where I was born. I speak French and have French friends, but we don't do a huge amount of socialising, even in normal times. I can easily get on a ferry within an hour from home, so trips to the UK are cheap and easy as a foot passenger.
Our children are spread out across Europe but we talk a lot via FaceTime and help the grandchildren with homework.
I think it took me about five years to think of France as coming home and there is not much I miss about the UK now.
I don't think we would go back, but never say never.

Hi Sheila, I have lived in Malta for forty years since marrying my late husband who was Maltese.

In the early days I was very homesick but as the years have passed I have grown to love this little island, the way of life and its kind people.

Covid has put a stop to any travel and I must admit I have felt very lonely and cut off from friends and family in the UK, plus my two eldest daughters and only grandchild who live in the US.

I would normally be going to Florida for DGD’s birthday next month, so feel sad to have to miss it. I do realise how fortunate I am to have two adult children still living in Malta as well as some good friends, but I miss my husband so much even five years on from his death.

I could never return to the UK to live, it isn’t the same place I left forty years ago, but I still love the land of my birth and will be very happy when I can visit again.

Are your grandchildren in Germany?

I’m sorry you are feeling homesick.

Like you, Sheila, I have lived in Germany for over 40 years. I only have a sister in the UK now and some cousins who I only really exchange Christmas cards with.

I do get homesick a little, and wonder if I would go back if my husband died.

In the 70s I was busy growing up and settling in. In the 80s I was busy with bringing up children. In the 90s I threw myself into work and trying to do it all, so there wasn't much time for anything else.

Then along came the Internet and I could keep up with things in the UK, listen to Radio 4 and 3, so homesickness was alleviated somewhat.

I also have a lovely group of friends from all over Britain. We haven't been able to meet up this year but have been in regular contact in our WhatsApp group.

We have all now taken on German nationality, except those from NI who got Irish passports.

You have 2 homes now, so, if you can't go back, can you somehow make your home here more bearable by finding other Brits or any English-speaking expats. There must be loads in Berlin.

My DS3 is studying in Berlin,by the way. We haven't managed to get out there the whole time he's been there. Hope to make the effort this year before he leaves!

This has turned into a fascinating chat. So it would seem a lot of people left their birth country very young for love! I guess there must inevitably come times when you think of what might have been, or indeed what could be if you were to return home now.
I'm interested that many of you say the UK isn't what it used to be and that would make it difficult for you to resettle.

I moved to Israel for love too, and have lived here mostly for 40 years (moved back to the UK for 5 years in the middle for work, and also brief stints in Belgium and the US, also for work).
I am constantly torn between life here in Israel and back in the UK. I have family in both places, about half and half. My DD and her family live around the corner from us here which is the main reason we wouldn't consider leaving.
But if our DS and DiL so have kids one day, that will add to the feeling of being torn.
There is so much of the UK that I miss.
Pre-Covid I would travel there around 4-6 times a year but obviously not at the moment.
I am really hoping to be able to visit again come April by which time we will be vaccinated.

Ooh I love Israel. Mind you I was there in the early 70s and it has changed a lot since then, like all countries.

Which brings us back to the topic in hand: all countries have advanced and changed in parallel over the years. When I go back to the UK it is not really such a shock because the differences mirror those we have been having here. You just have to make sure you keep up with the vocabulary!

Moving away from Berlin would most definitely help in my opinion.

I know and have known many delightful Germans, but the people from Berlin and the surrounding area are not among them. Berliners tend in my experience to be arrogant and devoid of humour, which doesn't apply in other parts of Germany.

You just have to make sure you keep up with the vocabulary
!! and the fashion in clothes and hairstyles! When I used to arrive back in London I was always amazed at the different styles and the array of colours in vogue. Coming from France where French ladies tend stick to more neutral tones and classical cuts, I used to think I was in a carnival parade.

I've never been to Berlin but before I went to Paris, many people warned me not to judge France by the 'cold, rude and aloof' Parisians.

I found them helpful and friendly wherever I went in the months I was there.