Struggling with my 29 year old daughter's breakup

I have had similar for years and years. My DD is now in her 40s and has had one disastrous relationship after another. I have experienced such stress over the years because of it but now have old age issues to contend with and think she must sort herself out. I listen and say the right things but I’m not sure anything will ever change. My advice is to lend an ear but never interfere.

Gran22boys

I have had similar for years and years. My DD is now in her 40s and has had one disastrous relationship after another. I have experienced such stress over the years because of it but now have old age issues to contend with and think she must sort herself out. I listen and say the right things but I’m not sure anything will ever change. My advice is to lend an ear but never interfere.

Thanks for reaching out. She's my only child and that makes things harder :-( I was a single mom for a long time, now I have a very supportive husband who also loves my daughter a lot. How is your daughter coping with all that?

Lend an ear and never interfere is very sound advice indeed!

I know that it is hard for us to let go of our adult children and let them make their own mistakes, but in the end it has to be done.

She knows uou are there to turn to when needed. That is all you can offer.

Please try not to let tjis worry interfere with you enjoying your life.

I think you need to find a way to stop focusing on your daughter's break up.
It's a normal fact of life, so distract yourself from obsessing over it.

She has friends to support her and sounds to be coping ok.

Another thing I will say is that I have worried so much over the years about my DD’s various relationships. But most of my worrying has been a waste of my time as the relationships have ended and another one starts. Just be there for her.

I was heartbroken for my daughter. I didn't critisice the ** in front of her though. ( and hid the wax effigies)
It was a good job I didn't because they have now been back together for over 15 years.

Ilovecheese

I was heartbroken for my daughter. I didn't critisice the ** in front of her though. ( and hid the wax effigies)
It was a good job I didn't because they have now been back together for over 15 years.

🤣🤣🤣

I ditto everyone else. Be there, lend a sympathetic ear, and a shoulder but just keep as quiet as you can

Ilovecheese

I was heartbroken for my daughter. I didn't critisice the ** in front of her though. ( and hid the wax effigies)
It was a good job I didn't because they have now been back together for over 15 years.

This was at the back of my mind when one of my DDs was having a bit of a blip in her relationship. I knew that if I took sides it might come back to bite me. They are still together 25 years later and, although things are not perfect (whose relationship is?), we are all on good terms and I see my GC ... something that could have been at risk if I had not been treading very carefully!

Your daughter is certainly not too old to meet someone she would want to have a family with.
My daughter didn't meet her partner until her early 30s. They have two children together and a very settled family life.

Your daughter sounds like she has a good support network of friends BrokenheartedMum.

Is your anxiety in case your daughter's boyfriend does come back, or in case he doesn't?
Either way it's all out of your hands so do try not to let it consume you. 💐

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

V3ra

Your daughter is certainly not too old to meet someone she would want to have a family with.
My daughter didn't meet her partner until her early 30s. They have two children together and a very settled family life.

Your daughter sounds like she has a good support network of friends BrokenheartedMum.

Is your anxiety in case your daughter's boyfriend does come back, or in case he doesn't?
Either way it's all out of your hands so do try not to let it consume you. 💐

My anxiety is currently revolving around the situation in which the boyfriend doesn't come back.

He is apparently processing some of his heavy issues - at least that's what he said and she does believe he is being honest.

So my anxiety is about her life in the future without him, as I know she is a person who values relationships highly and I am not sure how she will cope alone. And she really does want children someday (no like may today's modern women who claim they don't want children).

Three daughters of Friends of ours had their first babies at 40 41 and 43. Plenty of time for your daughter.
If you are a worrier it will be hard but do your best not to get over involved. It doesn’t help you or her.

I can understand your worries, but your daughter is still young. I found with my two, once they found the right person things moved fast, they were both married and expecting babies within no time at all.
Please try not to worry, these things usually work out for the best.

Dear ladies, thanks a lot for your support.

I know that all of us are struggling with difficult issues and I guess that's why we are here.

Don't get me wrong - I know the following will sound like a very stupid question and me trying to see to far into the future. Besides, I know that having a relationship is not the sole purpose of life, but I know that my daugther does value relationships highly (maybe too much).

But how did the young ladies in their thirties that you know manage to find a good partner?

Reported. .