Need a Man to make you happy?

I’ve been married for 56 years and I have known my husband since I was 15 so I find it hard to imagine life without him. We grew up together. Some people need a man around and I think I am one of them. I have always preferred male company though I have quite a few female friends.

Not everyone is the same and this applies to both men and women. Some people can be happy by themselves and just friends, some prefer a relationship. There are even a few that prefer to be completely on their own.

I've been married since February 2011 officially and we were together before then since September 2007, I'm now 58 and hubby is 62. It was the 1st marriage for us both. I couldn't imagine life without him but we both lived alone before we met.

I'm obviously a failure at being happy with a man. Having been alone now for a long time, about 15 years, I am more content without all that hassle.

of course we don't.. only we can make ourselves happy.. if you find a partner who you can happily live with that is a bonus

But how can we change alittle if we do need a man--I mean to say that if you are relying solely on a man to make you happy how do you negoiate that in life

You can't rely on a man to make you happy. Some men could make you very unhappy. You need to be happy with yourself first!

Best not rely on any one person solely to make you happy. Its bound to disappoint.

I've been on my own for quite a long time and am generally content with life....I have the odd occasion when I think it would be nice to have a partner but I've never "needed" one.

Everyone is different though and I know several people who do seem to need to be in a relationship, one friend in particular is like a butterfly going from one relationship to another!

@Damdee I don't disagree with that but me personally am very lonely..Live alone after a 38 year marriage Want-Need someone--I know that will make me happier than being on my own if that makes sense Would Really love to know How to be ok on my own..

I know that will make me happier than being on my own if that makes sense

The trouble is you don’t know if being with someone else will make you happier. Sounds like you had a long and happy marriage - but if you live with someone else they might have habits, etc that make you unhappy. You probably realise that the best idea would be to ‘get out more’ = socialise doing things you like, and you will mix with people (both sexes) who enjoy the same activities - walking, dancing, pottery, reading, etc.

@henetha No not a failure it is a choice lots of men out there Just give it another go IF thats what you want x

Nothing wrong with wanting a man in your life but I don't think anyone else - a man, a woman, or a child - can really make someone happy. You are either happy with your life or you're not. That's not to say including someone else in your life can't make a happy life even happier.

It's unfair to put the task of making you happy on someone else's shoulders.

If you're relying solely on a man to make you happy I think you're rather doomed to disappointment.

I don’t think I would have been happy if I had never had a man in my life. I needed to be married and have children. However, my husband died when we had been married for 12 years, and I haven’t needed a man since then. I am very content, now, to be single.

Have you been on your own for long Carmen? Do you have family , friends? Belong to any groups ?
Christmas is probably more difficult than the rest of the year to be alone, but many men, especially those of a certain age can be silent and a bit grumpy and could turn out more work /less joy.
I do wish you well and hope you find what you are looking for,

Depending on how long you have been living alone I would say give yourself time. After being part of a couple for so long you will need time to adjust. I find there are benefits from living alone, eg total control over sleeping, waking times, eat when you want, what you want, go out without having to co ordinate with someone else. However, you may not see these things as benefits. In my opinion jumping too soon into a new relationship could make you very unhappy. Time to become happy with yourself as an individual first is essential

@silverlining thank you lost my husband 3 years ago..do have family but not close to them..hate groups friends, only at work they will all be busy with their own people

I've been widowed for 3 years, after 39 years of marriage. The first couple of years were hard, but I'm happy on my own now.

I love the freedom of being able to get up when I want, spend the day as I choose, experiment with different foods, visit different places on a whim. At 68, with maybe another 12 good years left, I don't have the time or the energy to train up a new man, so will continue on my solo journey.

We are all completely different.

I am divorced and single.

Do I feel I need a man? No, for the most part.

Three years isn’t very long Carmen.
To meet someone you have to go out. You say you don’t like groups but it might be worth giving it s try. You might enjoy it and meet someone of similar interests in a non pressured environment. Just be careful.
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Need a man to make you happy??? Certainly not. Some of my worst days in my life have been while with the “wrong” man. First husband was a wife beater, second husband was completely lazy and nuts. Then I met and married husband number 3 and although he is better than the previous two I wish I could go back in time and stayed on my own. I am a strong person and we agree to disagree on a number of occasions. I loved the freedom I had when I left husband number 2 and I still don’t understand to this day why I gave that up. Life is good but not what I want so I keep busy with my crafts and family and grand kids. No living on my own now as I am in my early 70’s. Sad really.

As others say Carmen you can't put the onus on any one person to make you happy be they man or woman. Relationships are about sharing, ups and downs and all things in between. Something that needs to be worked at I think.

I lost my husband 6 years ago and would say quite honestly that I have no problem being without A man, but am less than whole without THAT man.
Does this answer your question?