grandchildren

Your daughters children are NOT "yours" they are hers.

Your son's children are just as much your grandchildren as they are the grandchildren of your sons partners parents.

I know there is this "thing" that daughters are closer to their parents, especially when it comes to grandchildren, but it doesn't have to be like that.

I think she means she feels her daughters children are her grandchildren and the sons are his MILs grandchildren. I am closer to the grandchildren I see often. I think thats natural to feel that way. you have more opportunity to bond with them. I would love to be close to all of them but thats life.

I guess it could depend on how much you see of your different grandchildren.

If you don't see your granddaughters as often, you're not going to know so much about them.

At the end of the day, they're all your grandchildren - they can't control how their parents bring them up. How they are brought up may affect how they treat you.

I echo what annep says.....you feel closer to the ones you see more often. I have 5 grandchildren, but am closer to my daughter's 2 teenagers because, I practically brought them up. I don't see my older son's toddler and baby as much as I would like to, but I do see my younger son's toddler a lot, so there is that closeness with him. It's nothing to do with daughter's children or son's children...it's just who you get to see more. I don't feel any guilt, because I love them all, but due to circumstances/family dynamics, I see some more than others and therefore I feel "closer"to them.
23selba they are all your grandchildren. What do you mean you distance yourself from your son's daughters? My sons' babies are very, very close to the other grandparents and see them more because they do the nursery runs etc. I am ok with that, as I am much older and can't do as much. That's the way it goes. But to answer your main question, I don't feel any of them are mine !

yes thank you that's how i wanted to come across i just wondered if that was a natural feeling with grandmothers..i guess its because my husband passed away the year they were all born and i brought my daughter son in to the world and it made me question my feelings and needed input

Its hard when you haven't your husband to discuss it with. Don't worry. You're not a bad person.

Once asked which of my DDs I feel closest to, I answered “the one I am with”
I think the same can apply to DGC.
If it is making you unhappy you may find working at it helps - sleepovers, individual activities with the girls (together or one at a time) depending on age.

good advice mawbroon

yh im finding it difficult because my sons partner doesnt like me and says (i think) things to her children as the things that they say to me ar not what a 3 year old would come out with..shes also ver bossy and tells me what to do and gets anoyed when i refuse..to me shes very ..um...smarmy looking she puts on a sarcastic face...i feel so bad about how i feel on the other hand my grand son is amazing loving ..i dont know...

sorry i failed to say im only 47 with 3 grandchildren with my husband dying at 49 3.5 years ago i was left with teens with no dad all with behavioral disabilities, i felt bad for them losing there dad and babied them

Do you do most of the parenting of grandson, or have I picked that up wrong?

Does your grandson live with you?

23Selba.......you are very young. So sorry about the loss of your husband. You appear to be close to your daughter and that's really lovely. Don't feel guilty about feeling closer to your daughter's little boy. My older son and his wife (who hates me) have 2 girls. I hardly see them.
Don't be too harsh on yourself. You have done a good job in a very difficult situation. Wish you all the best....hopefully you'll find a nice young man to distract you from your present worries..

You have had a rough time and you say you delivered your GS and helped bring him up, maybe its just natural you would feel closer to him. Some GC are easier than others so perhaps you are going to have to make a big effort with the girls, none of them are yours but I can see why you are closer to the boy.