Kind helpful suport with moving on from family estrangement

I do hope lucklylegs, smilless, cornishsue violet floss, flump123 rhinestone and anyone who needs support and wants to be positive fairydoll, sorry if forgotten anyone please feel free post, anyone new welcome.

Maddyone madgran mrsmeptop sorry trying remember everyone.

I would love to join you. I have often found in life that when something unpleasant comes along, there is something pleasant to follow. And being able to chat to you lovely people is that something pleasant for sure. So here I am. And hello everyone!

Hello Cornishsue1, lovely to meet you again! I’ve found the ladies on the estrangement threads to be very helpful and kind. I was totally lost with my ED and very comforting to listen to the advice and experiences of those who have gone through it and somehow it really does help knowing you’re not alone. I think caring and kindness go a long way and by reading your posts, you’re full of it. I could never cope with what you do, you’re an incredibly strong lady. ? thought you might like these.

I am not estranged but fear it greatly. I hope it is ok to join you as hearing from people who have experienced it helps me to think about where things are at for me

It's lovely see you posting already ladies anyone is welcome on here, only requirement is kindness if possible!

Some good news for the new thread. My exDIL got her results and all is well, the operation was a success, they got it all and she is recovering well.

I thought some positive news would be good, hope it isn't considered off topic.

Hello everyone, madgran you are most definitely welcome here, or on any of the threads about estrangement. You know why you fear estrangement, you are obviously aware of something that makes you fear it. Has estrangement been threatened, if you don’t mind me asking? I’m not estranged from my daughter and grandchildren now, but we were for a while. We did see them at a few family events, but whilst it was lovely to see the children, it wasn’t very pleasant with my daughter and her husband. However, my daughter is ill and we are no longer estranged. Once it has happened, you know it could happen again. Has it happened before to you?

Celebgran, your initiative is good to apply to all the agony requests for help , advice , comment, and moral support.

Responders are not helping by feeling sorry for someone in trouble, or feeling outraged by the other woman, erring husband and so on. One thing that most people need is reassurance that what they are experiencing is normal human experience however unpleasant it be.

Of course it isn't 123flump I am so pleased about your d i law.
We love positive news on this thread!
However we are also here for anyone who needs listening ear!

Thanks Alexa sadly the other thread had become too stuck in the negatative.

Maddyone has your daughter got post natal depression if you don't mind me asking?

It's an awful thing I know as I had it both times amd first time I was very ill. They call it something else now
I do hope she is recovering and/or gets help she needs.

I am wondering if I need up my dosage as feel very down in mornings still. Dh birthday today and alwasymfeel hurt for him if only our daughter could send him a card, even if she doesn't want reconnect with me,

However mustn't be negative our son called at weekend. And promises ring again today ?Henisnoff Afghanistan agin wed?For 2 weeks I have try be strong for that,

Well it's wet chilly here on coast we now going have coffee and dh can open his cards!

I think caring and kindness go a long way and by reading your posts, you’re full of it. I could never cope with what you do, you’re an incredibly strong lady. ? thought you might like these

Thank you for such lovely words, though I am unsure that I am worthy of them. But I truly appreciate them none the less.

Dh birthday today and alwasymfeel hurt for him if only our daughter could send him a card, even if she doesn't want reconnect with me

Birthdays, well any special days, are always so hard. Memories of what once was, that little bit of hope that maybe this year will be different and no matter what the celebration the knowledge there is always something missing.

My estranged son is a twin and his brother (still living at home) has never really celebrated his birthday since. Because the twins birthday fell during a school holiday, when they were younger, we would often go on holiday that week, letting them chose what attraction to visit, or what to do, on the actual day itself. Lots of lovely memories of their 8th birthday in Disneyland Paris, 10th in Italy, 16th in Crete, 18th in the Canary Islands and so on. But since then the twin at home prefers to let his birthday pass quietly, wondering if his twin (who has learning difficulties) remembers those holidays like he does.

I feel for your husband and hope he manages to have a lovely day anyway.

Thanks cornishsue interesting yourvyour estranged son being twin I have twin brother and we have very strong bond

Its sad for them to be apart sorry for that.

After 9 years I no longer seriously expect a card but always a shred of hipe
We are reaxing thanks dh just opened cards and is pleased with gifts I chose xx

Good idea to start a new support thread, celeb!

Sue, your post about es' birthday brought tears to my eyes. His poor twin!

But you told us on the other thread that es contacts his sister sometimes. Does he not contact his twin brother? Not even to say, "Happy Birthday?" My heart hurts just thinking about it.

Thanks star lady i thought so eryone welcome but focus on Kindness and positivity

Yes so sad for twin I felt that too dies he not contact his brother at all Cornish su! X

Oh gosh y phone worse than iPad sorry cornishsue I meant it's so very sad s does estranged twin have no contact with his twin at all ? ?For you.x

Thanks cornishsue interesting your estranged son being twin I have twin brother and we have very strong bond

Is it your twin's grandchildren that you spend time with and have a lovely relationship with, Celebgran?

My adult son who lives at home has always felt a close bond with his twin brother. Despite his own medical issues, my son at home, throughout schooldays and afterwards, has always felt responsible for his twin who has more severe issues. Even as a toddler if I gave the son at home a biscuit he would break it in half to give his twin. My estranged son has never reciprocated the feelings though and since he left us has only ever contacted his twin to be abusive.

As I say though there is always some positive to come out of a negative. My twin son at home has become much closer to their younger brother who also lives at home and has autism. He takes him on days out and to the cinema or to see events and shows that being autistic he be can be quite obsessive about. He is so very kind and compassionate to him, as he used to be his twin and indeed still is with his sister also.

But you told us on the other thread that es contacts his sister sometimes. Does he not contact his twin brother? Not even to say, "Happy Birthday?" My heart hurts just thinking about it

No, he doesn't contact his twin, other than an abusive message that we all have received from time to time. He does send a message to his sister occasionally, usually when he is in trouble. But this is followed by unpleasant messages, that to be honest may not even be from him. No he has never said Happy Birthday (or Christmas) or when his nan (my mum) died a few months ago. But he does have learning difficulties and other issues so it would probably never occur to him that his twin shares his birthday (I know that sounds difficult to understand) or that anything was different to how it was when he left five years ago.

Oh goodness I cannot tell you how good it is to say all this. It's been inside for so long and there is only so much we can say to each other at home that we haven't said a thousand times before.

Right....foster kids have descended, have to go....

Aagh bless you cornishsue yes that is my twin brothers oldest son and his little ones are the family we have great relationship with.

Am so sorry regarding your estranged twin, my oldest stepson has autism but not severe, however he finds it hard to show emotion?
That is why we so appreciated his efforts at Xmas.

The twin at home sounds so nice natured!

My twin brother and I have very strong bond which is lovely but we are nothing like each other in looks or personality! He is so laid back and very different to me I have to have life fairly organised. Sadly he lost his first wife last year (they been divorced 10 years) but he has 2 sons still at home over 30 but he has never sold the house!

That's bit too laid back as sadly his current partner throws him out regularly when they have row! He used come to us and is always welcome but now since his ex wife passed he goes to old home.

I just would like Him settled with stable roof over His head,
But you can't plan other people's life however much you love them.

So glad it's helping you to talk on forum Cornish sue. Xx

Hi maddyone yes I did make dh cake and it was rather nice brag brag as I don't often bake cakes.

Happy birthday Mr Celeb and that cake looks too good to cut, but I would anyway, bet it tastes as good as it looks. I was just thinking to myself, even when people get arsey, argumentative and have hissy fits and soars, I think that’s because there is still some connection there. If people absolutely don’t give a toss about you, then they really don’t acknowledge you at all. Not even verbally bash you yo yheir other friends and family. Maybe anger and being mean is just the other side of the coin from being loving and kind. I’d like to think it’s a sign of hope for us all. Wonderful news for you Flump. And your son is going to go do his thing and be back before you know it Celeb. Now, anyone know some good recipes using special k and/or coco pop cereals? I’ve been buying boxes of cereals because every 2 boxes gets you 10 dollars in book tokens. I have 80 dollars and many boxes of cereal ? I’m aiming to collect the hundred dollar maximum. Just as well I like special k and a couple of boxes coco pops for DH. Took some to work for the girls there as they’ve got little children that will enjoy. Right off the topic but I am very pleased with myself ! I think there’s nothing nicer than the look, feel and smell of a nice new book. Should be doing some paperwork but I’m bunking off on here. So nice to see the other ladies too. ?

Foodbank? Some child might love them and not get them very often.