Money's tight

Ingredients seems like a good idea, better than asking for money IMO.

Could she perhaps provide the ingredient for meals twice a week? I'm sure if you explain she'd understand.

Also worth digging out some cheap and cheerful recipes.

Yes of course your daughter should make a contribution. Either financially or with ingredients. Have you checked out the benefits situation as you are caring for your grandchild.Seems hard if you are doing this and struggling financially.
Why do we find it so difficult to discuss the money issue, is it peculiar to the British ?

I tricky one ! Could you ask her to pay for the meal twice a week? then you are not asking for money which is always awkward . You could say that you are more than happy to cook , clean up after and take care of her child but could do with a little help with providing the food 5 times a week . If you don`t tackle this it will cause you to feel resentful in the long run .

If you have a good relationship with your daughter, and it seems you do, why not suggest sitting down with her to plan economical interesting meals for a week at a time.

At this point no money need be mentioned. In the planning the subject of cost will come up and you can tackle the issue together.

Could you find cheaper meals to prepare? I don't mean to be offensive but could you make big pots of soup and have beans on toast sort of thing? I bet lots of Grans have recipes for inexpensive meals.
It would be a pity to destabilise relationships with your daughter. Good luck.

There's that recipe book by a girl called Jack: she began a blog about how to feed herself and her son on very, very little. That might help. Good luck.

You might find some cheaper meals here.

www.goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/pictures/28971/50-recipes-under-1-per-head

I like Anyas suggestion ?Just wish there was a thumbs up button on her like silver surfers have but they don't think it's necessary!

I should ask for ingredients or cook cheap n' cheerful meals like beans on toast.

Are you claiming the Child Benefit as child lives with you?

I would certainly not suggest a financial contribution, but take the good advice above about cheap and nutritious. As she is working your DD may not have time to do much home cooking but e.g a big spag Bol, bowl of chilli or macaroni and cheese for three costs very little more than for 1or 2.

I do get benefits for dgd but its hard to find the extra needed to feed another adult.
I'm pretty good at organising cheap meals but some weeks are tighter than others.
We haven't always had a good relationship, we've only been speaking for 12 months after a long period. I'm mindful not to cause a rift, she has a tendency to fly off the handle and I don't want ill feeling around dgd.
I always make a proper meal as dgd tends to only want sandwiches at school.
She doesn't offer to wash up or tidy up either and I am feeling resentful.

If she's not too grumpy today I will gently bring it up later.

Thanks for all your advice ?

Hope you are getting the child benefit for yr grandchild as you re entitled

I would tread very gently, but good luck

Surely your dd should realise that food is expensive these days? So if you say you are finding it a bit too much to buy food for three instead of one and would she mind helping out she would not mind buying a bag of groceries now and then would she? After all she is getting free child care from you too which would cost her an arm and a leg. If you don't ask you will not get as they say. She may have been feeling a bit guilty for taking advantage anyway and be relieved at the suggestion.

Try giving her beans on toast or soup or pasta in tomato sauce and when she notices say that was all you could afford this week. She might get the hint?

I do sympathise with you meandasy.

My daughter is the same. I also look after dgs once a week.
Although I don't want to be paid, an offer of something would be nice.

I am expected to pay out for all sorts and am also feeling quite resentful at times.

She has just become a single mum and is under stress, so I don't question too much, but trying to get money that she owes me is like trying to get blood out of a stone.

You do tend to feel put upon and taken for granted, don't you.
Good advice from all the above.
Remember, you are not alone in this dilemma.

Ask her to bring the meal a couple of times week.........she mustn't free load on you. I see that things have been difficult but you have taken on a lot for her, don't be exploited she would have to eat wherever she was and it is reciprocal hospitality even if it all happens at your home.

I agree tread carefully. You do not want to cause a rift especially in the run up to Christmas. Perhaps a moment will present itself. Has she asked what you would like for Christmas? What about saying a supermarket voucher to help with cost of groceries? It might make her realise.

Better to try to communicate your feelings in a gentle way than to be oppressed by bad behaviour or it will all come to a head one day and that won't be pretty. If your daughter is grown up, she should understand that you can't live for nothing and she has a contribution to make. When our son came home with his gf and child, we charged them rent but put most of the money to one side and gave it back to them when they left so they had some spare money to help them.

The thing about asking for ingredients is difficult as it could be that if she wasn't eating with you she may very well not eat at all. As others have said soup or pasta really don't cost too much and can go far. I'd be wary about bringing it up but perhaps ask her to help tidy up after the meals.

Sandwiches are perfectly good food (I have a healthy sixteen year old who has virtually lived on sandwiches since she was a toddler) so I don't think you need to worry about your grand-daughter.

Also, as others have said, soup is a good option to produce cheaply, and you can pack plenty of nutrients into soup with small amounts of cheap ingredients. Good luck.

I think your daughter should contribute to the cost of the food she eats but it sounds as if she's not an easy person to ask for something like that.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

Don't ask your daughter for money; if my Mother had done that I would have been very upset. What do they want as an evening meal? Are they asking for scampi or strawberries or melon? As said, beans on toast or pasta isn't very expensive.

Sometimes when we're cooking for others it's easy to go that extra mile, whereas if it had just been you then egg, chips & peas would do.

If you feel it would cause friction then don't ask, but slip into very basic cooking mode, such as beans on toast, soup or left over chicken stew. You can say things are a bit tight running up Christmas, and of course after Christmas too. See how that works for a bit.