I want to retire

It is to be highly recommended

Thank you whitewave. I just want to relax and do things that aren't work related.

Sorry to hear this gretel. Could you possibly retire and leave him to keep working to pay for his expensive hobby?

I do sympathise gretel. We are involved in a family business and husband is desperate to retire soon but other family members are making that very difficult. In the past couple of years 4 friends of around our age have died before having chance to enjoy their retirement - it does make you think a bit.

Could you find someone to fill your role in the business so that you could take a back seat even if your husband wants to continue?

Thank you Jane10. If I retired he would need to employ someone to deal with all the finance and admin work, probably at a higher salary than I take out of the business. I have thought about reducing down to four days but the same amount of work would still need to be done and someone needs to be there for deliveries, phone calls, emails etc as other employees are out all day.

Can you not employ someone to take your place as eddiecat78 says? Have you told him how you feel, I know from experience that you don't know whats round the corner and life can jump up and surprise you when you least expect it and not always in a good way.

Thanks eddicat78, this is what I worry about, everyone talks about needing pensions for a long retirement, but not everyone is that lucky. I don't think my husband would trust anyone else with the finances of the company. I hope that you and your husband are able to retire soon. It's difficult when other family members are involved.

OK I'm going to say something that I hope wont upset people but it is an uncomfortable thing to think about. Two of my friends have been widowed this year before they and their husbands could retire and enjoy life and a third and her husband have only retired for one year and he is gravely ill. My philosophy is 'gather yea rosebuds while ye may'. I wish you all a long and happy life but we just don't know what's round the corner and if work is making you unhappy and you can afford to retire, even if you have to cut your cloth a bit I say do it- enjoy life.

tanith, he knows how I feel and I know no one is indispensable but he wouldn't trust anyone with the financial aspects of the business. I want to enjoy life while we still can.

Thank you Teetime, that is exactly how I feel. I started saving into stakeholder pensions for our two children as soon as they became available in the hope that they may be able to retire early.

Teetime that is exactly how DH and I feel.. You don't know what tomorrow may bring, and I actually have the little poem about gathering rosebuds. It is so true.

How can he afford the time for a hobby that costs £500/month?

I thought I had expensive hobbies, what on Earth can you spend £500/mth on ?

Gretel, I don't have an answer but I do empathise. I am almost 62 and still working while DH took a redundancy package about 12 years ago and has never worked since! He knows I want to retire but, in his case, he won't downsize from this money eating house nor will he give up cigarettes. I have reduced to 3 days a week but, despite my best efforts, end up cramming 5 days work into 3! It is getting very close to ultimatum time so maybe you should also set a deadline in your mind and stick to it!

Hello Beth61, I think that is why is I have always worked full time because a lot of people who work part time do as much work as those working full time and only get paid for the part time work. Your husband is very lucky to have been at home for 12 years.

Hello PamelaJ1 & Wobblybits, The hobby is flying small planes which he has been doing for 23 years. Expensive medicals and a share in a plane, landing fees etc. Not very time consuming.

I work 31+ a week and used to cram 40 hours of work in. 2 years ago I timed each piece of work and added it up and was horrified that it amounted to over 40 hours and that was not counting admin. I went in the next day and discussed it with my team leader and said the work load was too much and she agreed (she didn't want to but it was there in black and white) I didn't ask to cut it down I just did it. If I was given too much I simply took it back saying I couldn't deliver it safely I had no capacity. I followed it all up with a nicely worded email. So it was traceable. My life been so much easier since. I still think about retirement but it's such a big big decision and one that's probably permanent.

I know it is easier said than done but I think it is time for you to be a little more assertive. You have as much right to a retirement as he has a right to go flying.
We did have one friend who got so fed up with her husband refusing to retire that she wrote herself a very large cheque on the business account and left! Don`t let things get that bad

Oh me too Gretel, me too. Slight difference from you though is that DH would love to retire too, but we can't. We still have a mortgage and have already downsized. In the past 20+ years we have run our small (engineering) business we have ploughed almost every asset we have ever had into keeping it going (hoping it would pay off in the end). We have no occupational pensions left to speak of and almost no spare cash whatsoever. Luckily neither of us have expensive hobbies and neither do we have an expensive lifestyle. My DH will be 65 in a few weeks time (I am quite a bit younger but feel physically worn out) and he is presently working a 14 hour day 6 (sometimes 7 days a week). He "jokes" that we do not own the business the business owns us and that it will see us both off eventually. I don't think he is wrong. Sadly I can see no end to it.

If he was run over by a bus someone else would have to the finances! If you both hate the job give up ......but retirement can be pretty boring unless you are both healthy and have enough money to do the things you hoped.

OH has PD - our retirememt is not as we had hoped.

Your OH is under pressure from his work, driving miles etc. - all the sort of stresses that cause men to have heart attacks the minute they retire.

Sorry to be blunt, but life throws stuff at you whether you like it or not and you really have to seize the day.

You will be surprised how little you can live on.

Life throws shit at you sometimes as we know only too well.

Oops organise the finances! Sorry

Well Done morethan2, I think employers are well aware that they do well out of part time workers. We have a casual worker but all her work is logged on timesheets.
Retirement is a big decision but people we know who have retired seem happy and don't miss work.

eddiecat78, I want us to retire together. Maybe that is because we have worked together for so long. My husband wants to retire but he doesn't want to give up his hobbies. Your friend writing herself a large cheque made me smile. Good for her.