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Legal, pensions and money

Money from divorce

(8 Posts)
nanabird Wed 10-Jun-26 09:38:03

I would appreciate any thoughts on this.
5 years ago I was diagnosed with Parkinson's, my husband's reaction was a bit odd, there was no reaction, no reassurance,
no "we will get through this together" - nothing. Fast forward to 2021 the family small holding was put up for sale as we were unable to pay off the mortgage. We had been paying interest only. Over the years my husband sold several fields we didn't need to the sum of £ 245,000. He would not discuss money with me and I'd love to know where all that went? Over 30 years I contributed to our household, helping my 3 daughters throughout their uni and college days.
I didn't want to move to the house that my husband found but my husband insisted that's where we went, house prices are cheaper in that part of Wales. There is no community there is no church no shop no village hall no buses, but the neighbours were all nice . At the time I mentally wasn't strong enough to refuse to go. I tried for 4 years but couldn't settle there. It certainly wasn't the ideal place to live for an elderly couple.
My husband and I had problems in our marriage which he wouldn't admit no affection no sex for many years no companionship. At least I had 20 years of a kind and loving partner before he changed.
We had made a life for ourselves in a beautiful farmhouse which had been in his family for 98 years. We developed a holiday flat and were working on another one. I furnished the first flat down to the last teaspoon myself. We shared the cleaning and preparation for guests most of the time.
One year ago I came down to the West country to see my family coming down by train with assisted travel. I have had a terraced cottage which I ran as a business a holiday let for 12 years. While here one evening on the phone my husband of 30 years said He'd rather live up in Wales on his own - rather than with me down West! My family wanted me to stay and I felt that he didn't love me anymore looking back he had been unloving and unsupportive for a long time. When I came back I had 2 suitcases/ a pusher the clothes I was wearing /handbag! I moved in to my cottage last August. I'm sorting out a divorce with a my solicitor. Because of my Parkinson's I flagged up with social services when a family member contacted them. They have been kind and helpful. I now have a chairlift installed and a safe wet room too. I feel supported and have family nearby.
Here's the burning question If I have a financial settlement and am awarded over £10,000 then I assume it counts as: 'savings' ? I wouldn't be able to get guaranteed pension credit any more?
Its not just the money but the help and support is vital as my condition will get worse over the next few years.
It does feel very unfair for my soon to be Ex to be living in a dormer bungalow sleeping 8, a large garden, a large yard where his tractor LR etc etc are kept. My terraced cottage sleeps up to 5,is in a town has no parking and a small courtyard.
Due to my condition I would need a substantial figure to invest that will help me with carers /transport etc in the future. More than would be available I imagine. My solicitor says she thinks my husband will be advised to take out an equity release mortgage.
He gave my 2 step daughters, £100,000 each after the sale!
Sorry for long post. Any thoughts /advice anyone?

nanabird Wed 10-Jun-26 09:41:39

Any thoughts or advice please.

Tuliptree Wed 10-Jun-26 10:12:18

I’m really sorry to read this. My first thought is you need another solicitor who needs to (on the information you provide) trace all the financial records for the whole of your marriage. It’s not the states role to top up your income whilst his step daughters receive £200k of what sounds like natural assets.

fancythat Wed 10-Jun-26 11:46:36

Sorry to hear about all this.

I presume you need an accountant? As well as a Solicitor?

nanabird Wed 10-Jun-26 12:37:42

Thanks Tulip Tree I quite agree with you that its not for the state to
' top up my income while his daughters were given a substantial gift of money' But things are not straight forward in life are they? Like many farming folk my late father in law left a very tangled will etc etc linked somehow to my husband too complicated to explain here. My husband plus a very good solicitor sorted that out. Nothing directly to do with me!
As a 75 year old disabled lady and having over many years paid my National insurance stamps I do hope to be looked after if as I am unable to work and in need. As I've got Parkinson's and my condition will unfortunately get worse. I am most grateful for all the help I've had so far.

Usedtobeblonde Wed 10-Jun-26 12:39:11

My D was finally divorced earlier this year after living apart for about 12 years.
Her H is a high earner and also inherited a very large sum a few years ago which we do know my D has no claim on.
He went to live abroad for his job taking his lady friend with him, she, LF, has never worked one day since that move.
My D was left with two C both with mild MH problems, partly from the situation of their F moving 3000 miles away.
She has struggled since that time and it is only with my help she has managed.
She got some money but nothing like she should, she also somehow didn’t get a proportion of his very generous pension.
I only tell this story to say to the OP, get the very best legal representation you can.
In spite of many appeals from me, my D just wanted the whole thing over and done with.
She was wrong, OP don’t settle for less than your entitlement, fight for it.

MissAdventure Wed 10-Jun-26 14:03:44

I would go to a solicitor to find out exactly what you can reasonably expect, and to help you to get it. .
It sounds far too complex to manage on your own.

Plevey08 Wed 10-Jun-26 17:43:47

I agree that you really need excellent advice from a good solicitor and an advocate from possibly a Parkinson's charity. You deserve to get what you are entitled to. Please don't give up believing that.